The Masks We Wear (LeviXOC)
by TaehaNatsuki
Summary: Emmryn Smith is the younger sister of one of the greatest commanders in the history of the Scouts. So where has she been? After being trapped in the Underground for 6 years, she finally escapes, but at a terrible cost. What will happen when she is forced into the Scouts?
1. Ch 1: Naivete and Narrow Escapes

_"She hid herself in a cloud_

_And she fell as rain_

_Musically on the grass_

_In a leaf-lit lane_

_Oh she was so grave and silent_

_So shy of a word_

_That no one guessed she went swinging_

_From a wire in the bird."_

_~Peggy Pond Church_

—_-_

The yellow-tinged, heavily worn paper of the book in front of me accompanied with the smell of old paper and ink had always relaxed me ever since I was young. I've always loved reading, especially poetry. Really any kind of art intrigued me from painting and sculpting to lyrics and culinary, but my passion has always been in the arts that used words like music and poetry. Words have always been powerful, and they can never be taken back. My older brother and I had learned that the hard way.

A sharp pain in my left temple snapped me out of my temporary escape as I quickly hid my book underneath the tattered, flattened makeshift mattress that I had grown to hate. I looked up to the direction of the blow to my head to see the source of most of the pain in my life.

"Hey bitch! Wake up! Ya have a lovely gentleman here who paid good money to spend some time with ya," the man in front of me sneered the last part, and I willed myself not to shutter. Friar Reed, aka the source of my torture, towered over me with his 6 foot 3 inch height and muscles to match with cropped brown hair and a big scar down his left eye. With him was a man who appeared to be in his mid 40s with greasy brown hair and a lecherous glint in his eyes. Did I mention I'm only 22? I've been at this since I was 16. It's been 6 years of absolute hell, but I had no escape.

I forced myself to give a small smile turning my large sky blue eyes to my latest "customer". "I'm so sorry, sir. I'll be sure to make it up to you," I said seductively, standing in front of the man in my dark red, skin tight dress that left literally nothing to the imagination and placing a hand on his chest before suggestively moving it down and stopping at his navel when I heard his breath hitch. I smirked before quickly bringing my knee up and striking him with my knee as hard as I could directly into his groin. The man doubled over in pain, and I went to run but a strong hand grabbed my arm and roughly threw me to the ground. I gasped losing my breath at the sudden force and braced myself for the punishment coming to me.

I was surprised when I heard an annoyed sigh. I looked up to see Friar with a smirk on his face and the man who I attacked being taken outside by Friar's cronies. I looked at him nervously. "That's the 5th one this week, 'Ryn. We're starting to lose money because of ya," Friar sighed and looked at me irritated, "but ya've yet to be able to escape. Have ya not learned your lesson yet?" His tone was off putting so was his choice of words... _He called me something other than bitch, and he's speaking somewhat kindly to me. What the hell is going on here?..._

"Look I'm gonna level with ya, 'Ryn, we can't exactly afford to keep having ya scare off customers, and we aren't big on killin' people. But we can't exactly let ya just run off. It would ruin our reputation, so I have a preposition for ya," Friar says looking at me sternly as his two cronies enter into my room, with one smoking a cigarette and the other holding a bottle of some sort of strong alcohol that I could smell across the room. I raise my eyebrows and my mouth opens in shock. "W-what is it?" I asked, trying not to show my excitement. I desperately wanted out of this hell. Friar smirked at me as one of his cronies grabbed me and forced me into a chair in the room and held my arms behind my back. I struggled against him, but my 5 foot frame just didn't have any say against this hired muscle. I gasped slightly when I saw that Friar had a 2 inch blade in his hand, and his other thug stood blocking the door.

"Here's the deal, 'Ryn. I'm gonna inflict some pain on ya for 2 minutes, and if ya can get through it without making a sound, ya can leave okay? But ya also have to not tell anyone what happened to ya or where we are," Friar informed me, his smirk growing ever wider like the sadistic asshole he is, "If ya were to tell, we would find out, and ya would be brought back just like that." I gulped slightly before taking a deep breath and looking Friar straight in the eye with fierce determination before making the statement that would act as catalyst for the worst 2 minutes of my life, "Deal."

And with those four letters, my life became a living hell worse than I had previously imagined, and I began counting seconds the best I could. It started with an excruciating burning sensation on the back of my left shoulder. I bit my lip to avoid making a noise and looked back to see that the bastard behind me had put his cigarette out using my bare skin. My focus on that was interrupted by a strong knee to my stomach followed quickly by a strong right hook to my face. I heard a loud crack as an explosion of pain erupted in my jaw, but I still remained silent. I felt more burns in my back as the crony behind me apparently must've been relighting and putting out that same damn cigarette in my back. Tears filled my eyes as I squeezed them shut to try and ignore the pain I was experiencing. 1 minute left. I could do this.

Suddenly, I began to feel sharp pains along my legs as I opened my eyes to see Friar stabbing my legs repeatedly with the knife he was carrying. Darkness began to cloud my vision, but I was almost free so I forced myself to stay awake and silent throughout the torture. 20 seconds left. "Now, we just have to make sure that ya can never utilize this pretty little face and hair of yours," I heard Friar say tauntingly before cutting my waist length copper auburn hair to my shoulders roughly with his knife, slashing my back and shoulders simultaneously. The pain was bad but not the worst they had inflicted thus far. I felt the hold on my arm loosen, and I started to think I was done and looked only to see the cigarette crony grab the lower part of my right arm and lift his leg and stomp on it. That is what nearly broke me as I felt the bones break in my arm. 5 seconds left. This had to be it right? If they did anymore, I was actually going to die.

"Bitch, look at me," I heard Friar say from in front of me. I looked to the front of me just in time to see the knife come down across the right side of my face and through my eye. The pain was excruciating. I bit through my lip at this point and blood started coming out. As if this wasn't enough, every wound on my body felt as though it was set on fire as I felt a liquid run down my body. That bastard with the alcohol. He poured it over me. 0 seconds left. I didn't make a sound, but I felt like I would pass out from the pain. Thank the Walls... I survived. I was free.

"Oh by the way, ya can have a 5 minute head start to escape before we come after ya," Friar said with a malicious smirk. My uninjured eye widened. They lied. I mean of course they did. I'm a moron, but maybe, just maybe, with a 5 minute head start, I could find help. I had no other option. I shakily stood up. My entire body was in excruciating pain, and I whimpered with each step, but somehow I could walk. I made my way to the door and out of the brothel as quickly as I could. I looked around the dark and depressing underground.

There was no way to tell the time down here, but I knew if I stayed in the Underground, I was screwed. Friar had way too many connections down here. I had to find a way to get above ground. Maybe I could contact my older brother once I got up there. I looked around and saw a stairwell along with a sign with an 11 carved into it. My vision was getting blurry. 2 minutes left. Stumbling along as quickly as possible, I made it to the stairwell. Oddly enough the guards were not there. I looked to the square nearby and saw them harassing some of the locals. Good luck for me. Bad luck for them.

Suddenly I heard "Time's up 'Ryn! We're comin for ya!" Shit. I was supposed to have a minute left. Of course they didn't play fair. I stumbled up the stairwell as quickly as possible while only being able to see out of my left eye which was starting to be covered from the blood I could only assume was pouring from a head wound. I finally reached the top of the stairwell. As I started to lose consciousness, I found myself surrounded by military police who I was certain would send me back down to my death. With my last remaining strength I called out in desperation...

"Help... My older brother... is... officer... Survey Corps... Scouts... Help..." And with that, everything went black...

Song: Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) by Kelly Clarkson

Edited: 03/23/2020


	2. Ch 2: One Hell of a Trial

_Tears of joy,_

_And tears of sadness_

_Both present._

_Justified,_

_As emotions become fueled,_

_By the circumstances._

~Leona J. Atkinson

A chill ran through my body accompanying the ugly symphony of pain that seems to be playing throughout the entirety of my body. I heard voices, but I couldn't quite make them out. I tried to move a little and flinched at the excruciating pain in my right arm. The clinking sound of chains and the solid metal around my ankles and wrists startled me a bit when I moved. _Where am I?_ I opened my eyes, and I realized I could only see out of my left eye. With that in mind, I sat up slowly whimpering in pain and looked over to see bars. _I'm in a jail cell?_ I looked out to see a guy in a military police uniform with a bowl cut and a jutted out nose. He looked at me in shock when he noticed I was awake.

"Excuse me," I croaked, my voice weak from disuse, "What's going on? Where am I?" He looked at me through narrowed eyes.

"You're in the custody of the military police for trying to use the 11th staircase to come to the surface without permission. The only reason you're not dead is because you said something about being the relative of an officer. That makes your case have to be handled by Supreme Commander Zachary himself," the guy scoffed like it was the biggest inconvenience in the world. Okay. This guy was already getting on my nerves, but he was also my best chance at information, so I had to be civil.

"Okay. How long have I been here?" I looked at my body and realized that all my wounds have been treated, though the bandages look like they hadn't been changed in some time, "And who are you?"

Bowl-cut sighed in annoyance, "You've been out for a week. Your court date is actually in about 2 hours. Since you've woken up, we want to get this over with as quickly as possible. And my name is Marlowe Freudenberg." I nodded and decided to let it go. My throat was hurting terribly, and this guy clearly didn't want to deal with some lowlife from the underground. _If only he knew... _And with that thought, I laid back down and drifted back into sleep.

I was awoken to the sound of the cell door being opened, and being yanked up from the slab that I was using as a bed in my cell. I cried out in pain as I felt one of the wounds in my left leg reopen, and I was slung to the ground and handcuffed. I looked up to see Marlowe behind me with an annoyed look on his face. I didn't even ask what was going on. We were going to see what my future held at this court proceeding with Commander Zachary. This would either go really well or I was completely screwed. _Maybe if Erwin is there I will have a chance at getting out of this alive, not that he's ever come through for me when it matters in the last 6 years._

The walk to the courtroom was short. I was told to keep my head down until Commander Zachary addressed me directly, and I did so as I was led to the center of the room and a metal beam was put through my handcuffs, locking me in place. Every inch of my body screamed out in excruciating pain, but my expression remained stoic as my eyes stayed focused on the ground. At this point, I was pretty sure I was blind in my right eye or it was just swollen shut, so I went ahead and let my now shoulder length hair cover that eye. I already looked weak and pathetic enough without people thinking I was even more helpless than I appeared. I heard lots of murmurs and side conversations among the people in the courtroom until Finally, it ceased, meaning Supreme Commander Zachary had entered the room. My assumptions were confirmed when I heard him call the court session to order.

-Levi's POV-

Looking out the window of the carriage on the way to the capital was one of the only ways to kill time, as I dreaded going to this stupid city. Erwin had come into my office this morning saying we had to head to Wall Sina for an emergency court proceeding. He seemed a little shaken up which was completely unlike him, but I didn't care. I was just irritated because now I'll be behind on work that I already needed to catch up on while simultaneously preparing for next month's expedition. We were nearing the capital when Erwin finally broke the silence.

"Levi, this court case is unprecedented, and I need you to support me no matter what I say during the court case," Erwin said calmly looking at me with ever serious expression in his eyes.

"What else would I do," I answered in my usual bored tone. This guy acts like I haven't followed him through all kinds of hell. I know court cases suck, but how bad could this one be...?

-Time Skip to Court Case: Still Levi's POV-

Erwin and I entered the courtroom and sat in the spot allocated for members of the Survey Corps. He and I were the only two in attendance for this court case, but it seemed as though the Military Police had packed their allotted space in the courtroom. I mean it's not like those lazy dumbasses were good for much more than taking up space. We had been there for about 5 minutes when the doors opened and the person who I can only assume is the one who is on trial was escorted in.

I was slightly shocked, and I heard Erwin take in a quick breath. It was a girl who had been beaten beyond any sort of recognition. The only part of her that seemed to be somewhat clean was the beige ripped shirt and nearly destroyed brown shorts they had her in. It was all quite revealing, proving that the military police did not believe this girl was in need of any source of decency. She had bandages all over her arms and legs, but the bandages were soaked through with blood and clearly needed to be changed. She looked disgusting. What looked like some kind of dark copper hair was matted to her head with dirt and blood, and I heard a slight whimper as the Military police escorts locked her into place. The girl stayed with her head down.

After a few minutes, Supreme Commander Zachary entered the courtroom and everyone of us greeted him with a salute. He then turned to the girl in the center of the room.

"The prisoner for whom this trial has been called to order for is on trial for attempting to use the 11th staircase of the underground without paying the proper fee. Normally, I would not even waste my time with a case like this; however, Cadet Marlowe Freudenberg, the soldier who apprehended the prisoner, as well as several other witnesses, reported that the prisoner has claimed to the be the younger sister of an officer of the Survey Corps, making this a possible military issue," Commander Zachary began the court proceedings and then directed his attention to the girl, "Prisoner, what is your name? Introduce yourself and explain why you aren't wasting my time by making this a military issue." Zachary was clearly irritated, and I didn't blame him. This whole thing seemed like a serious waste of everyone's time.

To my surprise, this girl who barely looked strong enough to stand, looked up at Zachary without flinching, and then looked around the room before seeming to lock eyes with Erwin. When I looked at him, he was clearly in shock for a moment before quickly composing himself. Then the girl answered, her voice calm, low, and clearly hoarse from disuse.

"My sincerest apologies, Supreme Commander Zachary. I would grant you with a proper salute, but my current bindings do not allow that. My name is Cadet Trainee Emmryn Smith, younger sister of Captain Erwin Smith of the Survey Corps," she answered. I had to force myself to remain stoic despite my shock at this revelation. Erwin never mentioned having a sister. Why the hell had she been in the Underground?

-Emmryn's POV-

I could hear the gasps throughout the room as I revealed myself to be the sister of Captain Erwin Smith. I simply ignored them and looked at Zachary who seemed shocked by my answer before composing himself and correcting me, "It's Commander Erwin now." Now, it was my turn to be shocked. _What happened to Shadis? I mean the guy definitely had some screws loose, but I think everyone in the Survey Corp has to._ I looked at my brother who just gave me a small nod. It was then I noticed that the area for the Survey Corps was empty except for my brother, and this short black-haired guy with a bored expression on his face. _Who the hell is he? _Zachary then also turned his attention to Erwin.

"Commander Erwin Smith, can you confirm that this is in fact your younger sister? And if so, how do you explain her being in the Underground?" Supreme Commander Zachary interrogated. I sighed to myself. My brother didn't have time to know how I ended up in the underground or what had taken place there, so I was quite shocked when he answered correctly.

"Supreme Commander Zachary, Emmryn Smith is indeed my full-blooded younger sister. She had finished a year in Cadet training for the military at age 16 when she was apparently targeted by a gang from the Underground who was intent on getting revenge against the military for causing issues with their illegal operations. She was drugged, kidnapped, and taken to the Underground, assuming to be dead after we refused their demands for her return," Erwin answered evenly. I sighed inwardly once again. That's my brother for you. _Always focused on the military and the good of humanity above all else. Some things never change._ My somewhat upsetting thoughts were interrupted by the leader of the military police.

"Supreme Commander Zachary, it does not matter who this criminal is related to. She broke the law and should be punished. She's been corrupted by that scum living in the Underground. She should be punished and sent back where she cannot cause any harm to the citizens above ground," the man I knew to be Nile Doc said. He and Erwin used to be friends. _Wow, he turned into a prick. _I couldn't keep my mouth shut this time.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Nile?" I said quietly but clearly seething, "I was kidnapped due to the military's inability to protect its recruits from common thugs, forced to do unspeakable things against my will just to survive for 6 fucking years, manage to escape after being tortured with an inch of my life, just for you to say I should be punished for that. How the fuck does that make sense?" I heard gasps and saw Commander Zachary looking at me with disdain and some amount of... pity? Normally, I would be more careful with my words, but I was in excruciating pain and in complete shock at the stupidity that seemed to be filling the courtroom.

"Cadet Trainee Smith, you will not speak that way towards a Commander and you will not use that sort of language in my courtroom. Understand?" He commanded firmly. I nodded, losing a lot of my fire before turning to the asshole who caused it.

"I apologize, Commander Dok," I said through gritted teeth, "I simply ask that you think about what you are saying before making assumptions. I am a citizen of the above ground. Therefore, I have every right to be here." Dok looked at me with disdain before ignoring me completely. Zachary distracted us both by clearing his throat.

"Cadet Trainee Smith, I have made a decision that will give you a way to pay for your crimes without jail time or being sent back to the Underground should the branch of the military in question agree to it," Commander Zackley said calmly before looking over to my brother and the ebony-haired man and continuing, "Cadet Trainee Smith, you shall join the Survey Corps under the direct supervision of Captain Levi until you have proven yourself worthy of becoming a full-fledged Scout. If you survive 3 expeditions, then you will be absolved of all crimes. Commander Erwin is that acceptable to you?" My eyes widened as I looked at older brothers with pleading eyes that just this once, he would look after me too instead of just focusing on humanity. The courtroom was still, and I didn't realize I was holding my breath until my brother finally answered.

"Yes sir. Commander Zachary, the scouts will gladly welcome Cadet Trainee Smith into our ranks." And with that I was able to take a deeper breath than I had in years.

Song: Control by Halsey

Edited: 03/23/2020


	3. Ch 3: Bittersweet Reunion

_"Now of a piece with the age,_

_it does no fever of my rage assuage_

_to think that years I fought,_

_to keep myself from adding up to nought,_

_were jolly jolly sixpence, nothing caught_

_out of my heedless nature's car,_

_that in distress with dress, my soul goes bare_

_to wear the same old war that I must ware."_

~Felix N. Stefanile

The trial had finally ended, and two of the military police reluctantly pulled out the bar that had been locking me into place from the floor. I sighed in slight relief as they also unlocked my hands. I barely moved my right arm before whimpering slightly. _Yup. Definitely broken._

"Em..." I heard a familiar strong voice say, and I flinched before looking up at the towering figure that is my older brother. He looked like he had a lot to say, but I really didn't want to hear any of it. Not here. Not in front of people.

"My name is Emmryn," I said coldly before saluting with my left arm the best I could seeing as my arm was completely immobile at this point, "Thank you, Commander Smith, for allowing me to pay for my crimes by joining the Survey Corps."

"Tch. The brat doesn't even know how to salute properly. She's a lost cause, Erwin," I heard a baritone voice with a coldness that rivaled my own say. I turned to glare at the source of the voice. It was the black-haired guy that had been standing next to Erwin during the trial.

"Levi. Enough. It would appear that her right arm is broken. Is that correct, Em?" Erwin said and I stared coldly at him, "I mean Cadet Emmryn."

"Yes, Commander," I responded before lowering my left arm. _Wait. Levi. That name. It's the name that Zachary said would be in charge of me until I paid off my debt to society. Yup. My luck is actually crap._

My thoughts were interrupted by Erwin clearing his throat, "Emmryn, there is a carriage waiting to take us three back to the Survey Corps headquarters. I will request the Military Police to fetch your belongings." I actually laughed at this, though it was empty sounding, and Erwin looked at me as though I had lost it. Maybe I had.

"Commander Smith, I barely escaped the Underground with my LIFE. I have no belongings. I am ready to leave this place," I stated honestly, trying my best to ignore the obvious pity in his face. With that, he nodded and motioned for me, and the little black haired asshole to follow him.

We followed him all the way to the carriage. Did I mention it was winter? There was snow on the ground which almost made me smile. It was white and fresh and pure. I had not seen anything like this in over 6 years; however, the cold kind of ruined it for me considering the military police had only seen it fitting to keep me in a tattered shirt and shorts that they happened to have lying around. It was better than the dress than found me in as far as self-respect goes, but for warmth they were about equal.

Erwin led us to a carriage before opening the door and motioning for me to enter. I almost commented about his kind gesture being meaningless to me, but all the stares and hushed whispers I could hear being made towards me made me uncomfortable, and I hurried into the carriage. Erwin followed and sat next to me with Captain Levi sitting across from us after closing the carriage door. Without meaning to, I began to shake uncontrollably from the cold. I felt Erwin shifting next to me as the carriage began to move, and the cold subsided as I felt a heavy jacket covering my small frame. I looked up from my hands to see Erwin without his jacket, remaining in his military white button up and signature bolo tie.

"Commander, this is unnecessary. I will be fine," I said coldly, starting to shrug the jacket off trying not to wince at the pains that wracked my body with each tiny movement.

"A normal person would say thank you. Now quit acting like a brat. Isn't this the part where you two are supposed to have a touching sibling reunion or some shit like that?" the raven haired captain commented in an irritated voice. I felt the jacket being brought up over my shoulders again, and I gave into the warmth this time. I looked at Erwin who gave me a small smile when he saw that I wouldn't shrug it off again. For some reason that smile pissed me off.

"Well, touching sibling reunions are for siblings that actually give a shit about each other. Not ones that leave their baby sister to be constantly tortured in the Underground for 6 years," I replied plainly. I felt Erwin stiffen beside me before grabbing my right shoulder to turn me towards him. I yelped in pain before turning to glare at him, the hair covering my right eye finally moving, making it visible to him. It must have been pretty bad because he let out an audible gasp.

"Em... I'm sorr-" Erwin started, but I interrupted him.

"I'm sorry, Commander, but I do not want or need your apology. It will change nothing. I have not had family in a long time, and I no longer desire one. Also, my name is Emmryn," I said tears starting to fill up in my eyes. I looked up at Erwin, silently begging him to understand why I was pushing him away. I was broken, and I honestly did not believe I could be fixed.

"Emmryn," Erwin started again with a sad smile on his face as he lifted his hand to touch my cheek, to which I recoiled quickly, "You've become strong in these last 6 years. I do acknowledge that you do not want my apology, but I will tell you that I do intend to make up for my mistakes." I bit back the tears. I wanted so badly to believe him, but I knew. I just knew that the second the betterment of humanity came up, he would sell me back to the monsters who did this to me if he thought it would benefit humanity.

"Tch." This Captain Levi was starting to piss me off.

"I apologize. I forgot to introduce you both. Emmryn, this is my right hand soldier, Captain Levi Ackerman. Levi, this is Emmryn Smith, my younger sister," Erwin introduced us, noticing the tension, "Levi, you will be training her once she has healed, and she will be working to become part of your squad. Emmryn, Levi is one of, if not, the best soldier I have ever met. You will be able to learn a lot from him." I rolled my eyes and glared at the shorty who in return got right in my face. I got irritated and spat at him. Suddenly, the left side of my face felt like it was on fire, and I lifted my left hand to my cheek where I could feel the heat from it and looked up to see that the Captain had clearly slapped me. He looked irritated.

"One of the first things you will learn from me is respect, brat," he stated clearly pissed.

I glared before answering through gritted teeth, "Yes, sir." Of course my dear older brother did not respond to this jerk slapping his already injured baby sister.

"Levi, she's injured. We do not know how badly. Please keep your temper in check until we can have her medically evaluated," Erwin said in an authoritative voice. _Oops. Guess I thought too soon._ I looked up at my older brother. He actually looked pretty irritated with the short captain. I allowed myself a small smile despite myself. He was trying, so I guess I could too. Snuggling myself into my older brother's jacket which had a familiar fresh scent that brought me back to my childhood, almost involuntarily, I found myself yawning and leaning onto Erwin's arm.

"Thank you so much, Erwin," I whispered smally, allowing myself to fall into a light slumber, for once feeling somewhat safe.

Song: Natural by Imagine Dragons

Edited: 03/24/2020


	4. Ch 4: A New Home

_"Twisted branches reach for her_

_the earth rises up to swallow her_

_as pain echoes through the woods_

_lingering in the trees."_

~Christy Ann Martine

When we arrived at the Survey Corps headquarters, I noticed that they had gotten an upgrade while I had been gone. This was not the old castle I was accustomed to seeing. Instead, it was a new building with clearly set apart training grounds, though I didn't get much of a chance to check things out before I was escorted quickly inside. Thank the Walls we arrived late at night, and it appeared that no one was awake. The rude Captain walked off as soon as we arrived at the HQ, muttering something about paperwork, leaving me with Erwin. I followed Erwin quietly, my wounds screaming with every step I took until we reached stairs, and I cursed under my breath causing Erwin to look back at me.

"Let me guess," I said clearly frustrated, "The infirmary is upstairs." Erwin gave me a pitying smile and nodded. "Whose genius idea was that?" I muttered under my breath. These wounds and the pain was clearly affecting my personality and my usual calm composure. I needed relief, but first, I had to grit my teeth and get up these damned steps. At least that was my plan until I felt an arm hook underneath my legs and another arm supporting my back before quickly and gently lifting me up. I panicked and struggled, but the arms held me tight. I looked up to see Erwin who was giving me a sad and knowing smile at my discomfort.

"I'm sorry, Em..mryn," he forced himself to say my complete name, "This will be faster and won't agitate your wounds, and no one is here to judge you or think you're weak." My left eye widened slightly in shock. I guess he did remember some things about me. Erwin quickly carried me up the stairs and two doors down before gently setting me on the ground and knocking firmly on the door. I felt bad for whoever was stuck with the night shift in the infirmary. It had been a minute or so, and I almost asked Erwin if we could just have me evaluated in the morning when the infirmary door opened to reveal a very wide awake lady with dark auburn hair and glasses who looked at me and immediately grinned. By this point, I was beginning to get a bit unsteady on my feet though I did my best to hide it.

"Oh my gosh! You look terrible! We need to get you checked out right away! I'm Hange Zoe! Nice to meet you!" the lady said with way too much energy for any sane person to have this late at night. But she seemed so nice that I couldn't help but give her a small smile. "Hi Hange. My name is Emmryn," I said quietly, intentionally leaving my last name off, not knowing how much to reveal to this new person. My vision was starting to go a little wonky as well so I couldn't exactly focus on making that kind of judgement at the moment. I heard Erwin clear his throat.

"Hange, I need you to do a full medical evaluation on Cadet Emmryn as well as treat her wounds," Erwin said in his Commander voice, "She has been seriously injured, and we don't know the extent of her injuries." That was the last thing I heard before everything went black.

-Erwin's POV-

"Emmryn!" I called out, slightly panicked as I caught her small frame before she could hit the ground. I lifted her gently and brought her into one of the empty beds in the infirmary. Hange's eyes were burning a hole through my back, and I realized that Emmryn was still wearing my dress uniform coat. Turning towards Hange, I was met with a serious gaze full of concern.

"Erwin, just who exactly is this girl, and what the hell happened to her?" Hange demanded to know, her voice laced with concern. I sighed. There was no hiding things from Hange. She would eventually find out anyways.

"Her name is Emmryn Smith. She's my younger sister who was kidnapped and taken to the Underground 6 years ago. She just escaped her captors, which I'm assuming are the ones responsible for the state she is in," I answered calmly, but my fists clenched and I said the last part through gritted teeth. _Whoever these bastards are, they broke my baby sister. _Hange nodded in understanding before going to work on Emmryn.

"Her wounds are really bad, Erwin, but I have a feeling her mental damage is even worse. You should go get some rest. I'll be able to give you a full report on the extent of her injuries in the morning," Hange said to me trying to be comforting but still being her brutally honest self. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. I knew she was right about me needing rest, but how could I when my baby sister was laying on this infirmary bed after spending 6 years being tortured? I knew how or at least why. Because the future of humanity always rested on me being able to make the right decisions, which frankly was not a possibility if I was not getting at least some rest.

"Hange," I said as I went to leave the infirmary, "Do not tell anyone who she is as far as being my sister is concerned. The only ones who know are us 3 and Levi. No one else can know." Hange hmmmed in understanding as she continued her evaluation of Emmryn. I closed the door quietly and headed back to my room.

-Hange's POV-

After 3 hours, the evaluation of the younger Smith was finally completed, but I couldn't say that I was relieved. The girl was in terrible shape, and honestly she was lucky to be alive. I looked at the notes I had compiled about this young girl. She had obviously been through hell. That was especially obvious by the multitude of scars that littered her small frame and the evidence of being raped numerous times. It's hard to believe she had survived all of it; however, as I had told Commander Erwin, I had a sinking feeling that her mental health had suffered far more than her body had. I sighed feeling an intense amount of sadness for the girl in front of me.

She was only 22 and had clearly endured torture for the past 6 years. It was a sickening reminder to me that titans were not the only monsters we faced in this world, and when looking at the damage done to Emmryn, I'm not even sure that I believe that titans are the worst monsters this world had to offer.

The sound of whimpering snapped me out of my thoughts as I saw the pained look on the young Smith's face. I took a syringe with a sedative and a pain killer in it and quickly injected it into her left forearm. (I had immobilized her right arm earlier after setting the broken bones to allow them to heal quickly and correctly.) Within 5 minutes, Emmryn appeared to return to a more peaceful sleep.

Rather than leaving the poor girl alone in an unfamiliar place, I decided I would sleep on the infirmary bed across from her, so she would at least see someone when she woke up. Besides, I only had about 3 hours before I had to be up anyways. As soon as my head hit the pillow on the infirmary bed, I was out like a light.

Song: Silence by Marshmello ft. Khalid

Edited: 03/24/2020


	5. Ch 5: Wake Me Up

_"Of all the things you choose in life, you don't get to choose what your nightmares are. You don't pick them; they pick you." -John Irving_

**WARNING: This chapter has somewhat graphic descriptions of rape, so if that is too much for you, simply skip the italicized section at the beginning.**

-Emmryn's POV-

_It was a dark and cold night when I decided to spend my break from the Training corp visiting Erwin and I's childhood home in Wall Rose. Since my older brother had entered the Survey Corps, he had not had time to visit the home often, and I wanted to make sure it was being maintained, so that one day, when we were both in the Survey Corps together, we could celebrate different times off in our home. It had been just the two of us for almost as long as I could remember, and I wanted to maintain some sort of home for us to come back to. For some reason, it seemed important to me._

_When I arrived at our home, I couldn't help but smile in excitement. It looked like at least our yard area had been maintained by our kind neighbors, including a red rose bush that I had spent weeks convincing Erwin to get me for my 10th birthday. He always had a soft spot for me and would always protect me and do his best to give me everything he could. I entered the house and was shocked to see that everything seemed to be fairly clean as well. I looked at our small dining table that could only fit maybe 4 people comfortably and saw a piece of paper on it. Picking it up, I full on grinned._

_'Em,_

_I know you've been coming home every break and cleaning the house. I decided to hire someone to clean the house every now and then so you would not have to spend your break doing it. I will be coming to visit you for part of your break on November 14, so please, try not to burn the house down between now and then._

_Love Always,_

_Erwin'_

_So I may possibly have the best big brother on the planet. With this reassurance, I decided to head to bed since it was pretty late. Also, tonight was the 13th of November, so that meant if I went to bed that meant time would pass sooner to where I could see Erwin! With excitement and happy thoughts, I found myself quickly drifting to sleep._

_BANG!_

_Scared and shocked awake, the door to my room opened so hard that it broke off the hinges, and in walked two very intimidating men. Before I could even comprehend what was happening, one of the men grabbed me by the hair and slung me onto the floor and kicked me in the stomach. I screamed in pain before I was yanked up by the arm to eye level to one of the men. He had dark green eyes and cropped brown hair, and he was grinning at me in a way that churned my stomach._

_"Hey, my sources were right! She is a pretty one! She'll make us great money in the Underground!" the man said to his partner before turning to me, "Oh how rude of me! My name is Friar Reed, your new boss!" I stared in shock before somehow finding my voice._

_"I-I don't understand... There must be some mistake... What do you mean by new boss? I'm a cadet for the military," I asked confused and wincing. The man, Friar, cackled before throwing me onto the bed and coming towards me, removing the buttons on the slacks he was wearing, and I started shaking in realization of what was happening._

_"Hey, Henry... Go keep watch! I'm gonna give this lil lady some training for her new job," Friar said, as the other man, Henry I presume, nodded and shut the door behind him, "Now, where were we?" He smirked as he came towards me and grabbed my nightgown and tore it open. _

_"Ah yes. We're gonna have some fun, and I'm gonna teach ya how to treat yer customers." With that he pulled down his pants while towering over me before reaching down and holding my hands behind my head with one hand when I tried to fight back by punching him. He pinned me against the bed._

_"Brother! Help!" I screamed as loud as I could as pain wracked my entire body emanating from my most intimate of places, as all of my innocence was stolen._

"AGHHHHHHH!" I woke up with a blood curdling scream escaping my lips as tears flowed down my face, and I wrapped my arms around myself digging my nails into the pale skin until they drew blood. My whole body was wracked with sobs and the constant shaking from terror and the hyperventilating I was doing.

The door burst open, and I didn't even process what was happening until my hands were ripped from my arms. My head snapped to the person who had touched me without my permission. To my relief, I was greeted by auburn hair and glasses that were accompanied by a very concerned expression on her face.

"Emmryn, I need you to calm down and take some deep breaths, or else I will have to put you back into a coma," Hange said calmly, but bluntly. Despite my heart telling me that was impossible, I managed to take a couple of deep breaths. My shaking decreased with this but did not completely subside.

"Th-Thank you, Hange," I said quietly, my voice raspy and difficult to use. Then, I registered what she had said. "What do you mean put me 'back' into a coma?" My voice was getting slightly stronger the more I spoke. Hange looked at me in relief.

"Ahhh... Yes... About that... See, Cadet Emmryn, with all the trauma you faced, both mental and physical, I had to keep you in a medically induced coma for only about 4 weeks..." She answered barely saying the 4 weeks loudly enough for me to hear, and my eyes went wide. Well eye. My right eye was open I think, but I still couldn't see a damn thing out of it. "But on the bright side, since you haven't really moved, your broken bones have healed with no problem!" she continued with a big smile on her face, obviously skimming over a bigger issue.

"Hange... I can't see out of my right eye," I pointed out before asking bluntly, "How bad is it?" Hange blanched at my question and looked away from me. "Forget it. I'll go see it myself. I need a mirror," I said trying to get out of the bed before completely collapsing on the floor cursing. _Right. Haven't moved in 4 weeks. Son of a b-_

"Oi, brat! How stupid are you trying to walk after shitty glasses just said you've been in a coma for 4 fucking weeks?" I heard a bored voice say. I glared up at the source of said comment to see a familiar ebony haired captain.

"I'm sorry, Captain," I said through gritted teeth as I glared at him. As out of it as I was, I did remember this rude guy's response last time I smarted off, and he really didn't seem like the type to take it easy on me even if I did just wake up from a coma.

I looked up to see him simply nod, "Much better. Maybe that fall knocked some sense into you, brat." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, and had to hide my shock when I saw his hand extended out to me. Since there weren't a lot of other options, I took it and the Captain helped me up and I sat back down on my bed in the infirmary. He immediately withdrew his hand and pointed to the metal tray next to my bed that had bread and what looked like a bowl of some kind of soup on it.

"Eat. You need to regain your strength, so I can attempt to train you enough that you don't die in the first five minutes outside the walls on our next expedition," he ordered, his voice sounding as bored as his facial expression looked.

"AWWWWW! Levi, you're being so nice to little Emmryn! Not that I blame you! I mean she's superrrrr cutteeeee!" Hange squealed, running over to the captain with a huge grin and thumbs up.

I tuned them out as I eagerly took the bread and began wolfing it down. Until it had been pointed out, I hadn't realized how hungry I was. Within minutes, the bread and the soup were long gone. I looked next to the tray and saw a cup of some sort of steaming liquid. I looked at it and recognized it from my childhood. Tea. One of my favorite drinks as a child. I gingerly held the cup to my lips and sipped on the hot tea. _Mmmmm. Black tea... _And whoever prepared it had put some sugar in it too. I couldn't help but feel warmth from the drink. Looking over to the two that had previously been arguing, I was confused to see them both looking at me.

-Levi's POV-

There was something off about Erwin's brat sister. It's like she had a split personality, and it had really taken me aback when she didn't smart off like she had in the carriage. Shitty glasses had warned Erwin and I that this might be the case from the trauma the brat had gone through. We have no idea what the so-called trauma was. Shitty glasses for once was actually keeping her big mouth shut and told us it would be up to the brat to decide to tell us herself if she decided she wanted to.

When we had stopped arguing, we had looked over to see the girl with a small smile on her face as she drank the tea I had made her. Erwin had insisted that she have some when she woke up, and since he knew I drank tea all the time, he asked me to make it and told me to add sugar to it for her. Emmryn was holding the tea cup with both hands as if she was afraid that if she used only one hand, she would drop it. The small smile on her face seemed so peaceful compared even to how she had looked during her coma.

Apparently noticing our silence, the small cadet looked up at us with confusion before carefully putting her cup down before standing up shakily at first before managing to stabilize herself by leaning the backs of legs on the infirmary bed before looking me in the eye, determination evident in her visible large blue eye, as she brought her arms into a perfect salute.

"Captain Levi. Section Commander Hange. Thank you so much for all of your help. I vow to do my best to repay both of your kindnesses," she said with a strength and calmness in her voice that I had not yet heard from her. Hmm... _I can finally see the resemblance between her and Erwin_. With that thought, I had to resist the urge to smirk. S_he may not die immediately after all._

Song: Towards the Sun by Rihanna

Edited: 03/24/2020


	6. Ch 6: Reflection

_You become a stranger to yourself_

_If you stare at the mirror long enough_

_Eyes lose meaning_

_And mooring._

_Something goes floating,_

_Off in search of the heart of the world._

_-__**Radhika Mukherjee**_

Emmryn's POV—

After waking up from my coma and going over my charts privately with Hange, I was released from the infirmary and led to my room by the glasses wearing scientist herself, with the condition that I take it a bit easy during training.

"Now if you need anything, the cafeteria and kitchen are downstairs. There's a bathroom attached to your bedroom, and also, Levi's room and office are next door to yours. He's a bit scary and weird, but he'll help you if you really need it," Hange explained in one big breath before looking at me and smiling a kind smile, not her creepy scientist smile, "Also, my lab is 3 doors down from the infirmary, so if you need someone to talk to, that's where you'll find me."

I smiled smally as I walked into 'my room.' It had been so long since I had a space to call my own. It was a simple room with light gray walls, a bed big enough for two of me (because I'm small remember?), a simple wooden dresser with three long drawers, and a standard sized window that looked out to the training grounds. Feeling a bit overwhelmed and honestly a bit gross after not being able to bathe myself for 4 weeks, I turned to Hange and smiled at her ever so slightly.

"Thank you so much, Hange," I said, my voice slightly happier than usual. Hange just grinned.

"Awwwww you are sooooo cute! Also, Commander Erwin told me to get you some clothes. They're in the top drawer of your dresser," Hange squealed, hugging me tightly to which I visibly tensed up and flinched.

"Oi, Four Eyes, the brat is clearly not comfortable with you touching her," I heard a bored-sounding voice say from behind us. Hange looked like she was gonna argue but looked at my face and saw the visible discomfort and quickly let go. I gave a small sigh of relief and looked behind us to see the Captain and nodded slightly in thanks when our eyes met.

"My my my... could it be, humanity's strongest soldier is... jealous?!" Hange asked mischievously and jumped into the Captain's face for the last word. The sudden movement caused me to almost fall until a strong arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me up before I could hit the ground. I did my best to conceal my blush at the embarrassment of someone having to help me from something so little.

"Oi, brat," the captain snapped getting my attention and letting go of my waist immediately after I had steadied myself, "How the hell do you expect to manage your ODM gear, let alone fight a titan if you can't even balance standing up straight?" I looked at him with an eerily blank face before shrugging and walking into my room.

"I guess I'll just die then. Titan fodder for the good of humanity," I said in a monotone voice and shut the door behind me and locked it before either of the two on the other side could try and come in. It's not like they couldn't get in if they wanted to, locking the door was more to give them the message that I wanted to be left alone for a bit.

Taking a minute to survey the room, I found myself drawn to the drawer remembering that Hanji mentioned there being clothes for me in there. I opened the top drawer to see a paper wrapped parcel with a piece of paper on top. I picked up the folded paper to see my name written in a very familiar handwriting.

_"Em,_

_There are no words that can express how sorry I am for these past 6 years. Hange has not told me anything relating to your medical examination except that you had clearly been through a lot. I'm sorry I was not there to protect you when it mattered most, but I am thrilled to have you fighting for humanity with me. If you ever need me or want to talk, my office is on the 3rd floor in the very central building of the HQ. Please come visit me soon._

_Also, I had Hange get you some clothes as well as something I thought you may like. I know you've spent 6 years in a place where you cannot trust anyone, but I implore you to trust our officers here, especially Levi and Hange. They're certainly a little different but I trust them with my life and with yours._

_Our hearts and souls to the cause. Welcome to the Survey Corps,_

_Your brother,_

_Commander Erwin Smith"_

I looked at the letter, conflicted, but mostly angry. _The dumbass can't even write an apology letter to his baby sister who he left to be tortured for 6 years correctly! He just had to add in the stuff about fighting for humanity and crap when he knows that's not why I am here._ If anything, this B.S. of his is why I was in the Underground for so long! If I had been half as important to him as humanity, he would have at least looked for me.

I took a deep breath and crumpled the letter in my hand before throwing it into the corner of the drawer before opening the paper wrapped package and carefully opening it. Inside, there were some basic necessities as far as clothes were concerned including panties, bras, and a handful of casual outfits. I grabbed some of the underwear, a pair of blush pink bikini cut panties and a matching tshirt bra, as well as a pair of the casual clothes being a coal gray long sleeved turtleneck sweater and a knee length pleated skirt that was black. It was simple and covered everything. Plus Hange had warned me to try and avoid tight clothing on my legs when I didn't have to. Something about wanting me to have better circulation after not walking in over a month. Now that that was done, I walked into the bathroom and turned to the mirror and saw myself for the first time since the accident. The scream left my lips before I could even think to muffle it.

—Levi's POV—

"I guess I'll just die then. Titan fodder for the good of humanity," she had said before shutting the door and locking it in the faces of me and the annoying scientist of the Survey Corps. I glared at the door, debating breaking it down and laying into the brat for leaving two commanding officers without any sort of salute. But mostly, I wanted to knock some sense into the clearly suicidal brat.

"Oi, shitty glasses," I said, keeping my voice sounding bored, "Why did you discharge her from the infirmary if she's suicidal?" I looked over at Hange. She shook her head, clearly bothered by the brat's statement.

"She's not suicidal, Levi. She just doesn't care if she dies. She's seen the ugliest the world has to offer. She escapes that and essentially gets given a death certificate by being forced to join the Scouts who are now led by the brother who abandoned her in that hell for 6 years. She's not suicidal. She's just given up," Hange replied, sadness dominating her usually overly hyper demeanor.

"Tch. Everyone's gone through shit. She'll either handle it or she won't. Now go back to your office. We both have way too much damn paperwork to spend all our efforts on this brat," I answered coldly thinking back to my own past. Without another word or look in Hanji's direction, I walked next door and into my office before shutting the door and getting ready to begin my mountain of paperwork that I have to get done. I was halfway through reading the first report when I heard an ear-shattering scream.

"Shit," I muttered to myself as I got up from my desk and opened the brat's door with my spare key. It was empty, but the bathroom door was open. That's when I remembered. _Shit she hasn't seen herself since the incident. Her eye is..._

-Emmryn's POV—

I stared in horror at myself in the mirror. I didn't recognize the person staring back at me. My once waist length stick straight dark copper hair had been chopped to my shoulders but in the past month had grown to the middle of my shoulder blades. All this was definitely a shock, but it wasn't what caused me to involuntarily scream.

My eyes, well eye, was another story. My once blue right eye was black with my iris and pupil being completely white, never mind the ragged puffy scar that went from the top of my head to under my jaw. It was almost a full centimeter wide and was blood red. From a distance it would probably look like I was crying blood out of that eye. That made me start to relive the events of that day, and I fell to my knees screaming in fear and pain. It didn't even register to me that someone had come into the door until I was face to face with a pair of steel blue eyes that were a little less cold than I was used to. He reached out and grabbed my waist to help me up but due to the overwhelming trauma and fear of men that I had begun to develop, I screamed and punched him. The captain. In the jaw. HARD. He glared at me and lifted his fist to return the favor. I flinched in pure terror and my voice came out as barely a whisper.

"I-I'm sorry, sir... please don't punish me... I promise I'll behave." Because to me, the man in front of me has transformed into the man from my past. Who stole my innocence and my future. I closed my eyes and braced myself... for a hit that never came…

Song: Speechless by Naomi Scott

—

**Author's Note:**

**Please please comment and click the star button if you are enjoying this story. I'm really enjoying writing it, and I have a lot of ideas but I don't have a clear set idea of the exact order that I want them to happen. **? **anyways! Thanks for reading!**

Edited: 03/24/2020


	7. Ch 7: Never Again

"_I was born into darkness, but I am made of light."_

**-Christy Ann Martine**

—Levi's POV—

That brat punched me in the jaw, and I'll admit she's much stronger than she looks. As a reflex, I lifted my fist back to return the favor but froze when she flinched and her uninjured eye seemed to glaze over as though she wasn't seeing me.

"I-I'm sorry sir... please don't punish me," she said, her voice barely a whisper as she closed her eyes, clearly bracing herself for the blow she was sure to come. I sighed almost silently and lowered my fist, squatting down to the eye level of the terrified girl in front of me.

— Emmryn's POV —

I don't know how long I stayed there on the floor braced for the blow I was sure to get, but when it came, it was not at all what I expected. There was no pain. Instead, I felt a warm touch that was gentle yet firm as a hand was placed on my cheek. I started shaking, still terrified.

"Brat." I didn't respond. That didn't sound like something Friar would say, but hey maybe he had a new insult for me to try and throw me off guard.

"Oi. Brat. I'm talking to you." That really didn't sound like him, but still, I couldn't let my guard down. He's already done this too much to me. _Who knows what more he could be capable of?_

"Emmryn, look at me," the voice said gentle but stern. This shocked me into opening my eyes. The captain sat in front of me at eye level with his hand on my right cheek. I froze, unsure of how to handle this. I had, after all, technically just assaulted an officer.

"Emmryn," the captain said calmly, his face only slightly softer than its usual stoic expression, "calm down. I'm not here to hurt you, but you are gonna have to face your fears, starting now. You won't survive if you can't even handle simple human touch." I looked at him with tears in my eyes.

"You have no idea why I am scared of human touch. You all talk about these titans, but humans are just as bad. Look at me. Look what humans did to me," I said, my voice shaking from fear or anger I'm not sure maybe a bit of both.

"Tch," the captain scoffed as his hand left my cheek, "time to get out of this damned pity party. Yeah a lot of humans are absolute shit, but not all of them are. It's not your job to decide whether humanity is worth saving. Your job is to follow orders. You're a soldier. Start acting like it, or else you're worthless to me." The softness in his face was gone. I looked at the ground ready to explode from anger and pain. The room was deadly silent. You could hear the gentle breeze blowing the leaves outside, but you could also cut the tension with a knife.

"Get out," I said, my voice barely audible as I started to stand up on my own, doing my best not to shake.

"What was that, Cadet?" _Great he sounds irritated, but I'm done getting treated like this. Too many people have pushed me around in my life. _I looked him in the eyes without flinching.

"I said. Get. Out. Captain," I spat the last word at him. Before I knew it I was being pushed into the wall with his hand on my neck. I wanted to scream for help, but I couldn't. He glared at me before seeing my fear and dropping me to the ground.

"I am your commanding officer. You do NOT give me orders. Understand, Cadet?" He said, venom dripping from the last question. My voice failed me so I simply nodded, giving a shaky salute. He nodded and his harsh gaze softened to a more apathetic yet still disgusted one.

"Good. Now clean yourself up, brat. Dinner starts in an hour and you honestly fucking reek. Do us all a favor and bathe thoroughly. Also, do NOT be late for dinner. You will be meeting my squad tonight," captain ordered before walking out, and I hear my door lock. _Damned captain must have a spare key._

I take a deep breath and avoid looking in the mirror as I prepare my bath. Looks like someone (probably Hange) had stocked the bathroom with some basic cleaning necessities, which happened to be some of my favorites from childhood. Clearly Erwin had been involved in this too. I let myself smile despite myself, before beginning a deep thorough cleaning I knew my body and hair desperately needed.

The hot water from the bath was soothing on my skin and did wonders for my aching muscles, but I knew I did not have much time to enjoy it. I focused primarily on getting the matted blood out of my hair before using the honey scented shampoo and body wash that Hange got for me. While drying off, I forced myself to look in the mirror, choosing to focus on the fact that my hair was uneven. Sighing, I quickly took some scissors and evened it out a bit. My hair was now longer in the front reaching to my mid chest and shorter in the back reaching to my shoulders. I also cut my bangs to where they were long enough on the right side to cover my eye and my scar and short enough on the left side that I could easily see (basically asymmetrical bangs). Satisfied with how hidden my right side of my face was, I rinsed the hair that I had just cut off of me before drying myself with a towel and quickly putting on a turtleneck sweater, noticing the soreness on my neck where the captain had grabbed me. I finished up with my knee length skirt and some simple black flats before walking downstairs to the cafeteria.

When I entered the cafeteria, I found myself kind of confused on what to do. My eye surveyed the area and I noticed several stares in my direction and I realized these people had no idea who I was. I looked down awkwardly, still blocking the doorway until a voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Cadet Emmryn." I turned around to see Erwin behind me waiting to get through the door. I nervously moved out of the way and saluted him. He nodded as his way of telling me at ease. I released my solute. "You have not been to the cafeteria yet have you?" I shook my head no. "Ah... then allow me to show you how it works here seeing as your squad has not yet arrived," Erwin offered. I nodded and followed him as he led me to where we received our rations.

Tonight was what looked like a mushroom soup, steamed potato, and a roll of bread. I quickly thanked the commander (I'm still having trouble thinking of him as my older brother especially after that stupid letter.) before walking off to find a table. Everyone seemed to look at me with mistrust, so I decided to take my seat in a corner where there seemed to be no one sitting.

I ignored the stares I was getting and ate my food quickly and properly. Being sustained through an IV for so long really did a number on my stomach. It was constantly craving food, but six years in the underground did not make me forget my manners. Right as I finished eating, I was approached by a girl with pale orange hair, a man with greyish hair with an undercut similar to the captain, another man with blonde hair that was clipped back, and a man with short black hair that went to a bit of a point in the back. They were all in uniform as well.

"Hi!" The girl greeted me with a kind smile and I simply looked at her with a small smile in return. Again, time in the underground did not ruin my ability to be polite, at least not to women. She seemed to notice I had no idea who they were.

"Oh! I guess the captain hasn't told you about us yet! We're the members of Squad Levi. My name is Petra Ral! I'm so excited to have another girl on the team!" The orange haired girl said excitedly with a huge smile as she took her food and sat next to me. The three men also sat down with their food.

"My name is Eld Gin, second in command. Nice to meet you," the blonde man introduced kindly. I nodded in acknowledgment before turning my gaze to the black haired man next to him.

"My name is Gunther Schultz," the man introduced himself eyeing me in slight distrust. Again, I nodded in response. I didn't mind them not trusting me. It made sense, and to be fair, I don't really trust anyone here either, except maybe Hange.

"Ahem! Well greenhorn, you're in the presence of none other than Oluo Bozado! I have the most confirmed kills on this whole squad!" The undercut man said trying to act cool. I've already decided I didn't like this guy. I try to remain cordial to people but this guy I have a feeling is going to push me to the point where I am not anymore.

"Oi, brat! I'm talking to you!" Oluo yelled as he got in my face, "I said who are you and how the hell did you end up on our squad when I've never seen you before?!" I glared at him. He was trying to act like the captain, but honestly, I've seen kids in the underground more intimidating than this buffoon. Instead of wasting my breath, I turned myself completely to my other side where Petra was sitting to see she was clearly irritated with Oluo as well. I smiled at her.

"Nice to meet you, Ral. My name is Emmryn. I look forward to working with you, Gin, and Schultz as well," my voice quiet but clear and kind. Everyone snickered as I clearly left Oluo off the list, well except the idiot himself.

Suddenly, I felt someone grab my arm and yank me back around. Oluo glared in my face with his hand squeezing my left wrist rather painfully. Without showing the pain in my face, I abruptly stood up, grabbed his wrist that was holding mine and abruptly twisted it behind his back HARD. He yelped in pain and released my wrist immediately, unable to move from the pain he was in.

"NEVER touch me without my permission," I seethed, my voice quiet and dangerous as I let go and he fell to the floor before quickly getting up to glare at me. My glare did not waver.

"Next time, I WILL break your hand," I warned. The squad stared at me in shock before looking behind me and jumping to a salute. I heard a "Tch" behind me, and I turned also in a salute to the raven-haired captain I now knew was behind me. He looked at me with a bored expression before nodding allowing us to be at ease.

"Now someone explain to me what the hell happened and why you brat," the captain said sternly looking at me, "are not in uniform." I could see Oluo smirk as he quickly jumped to answer.

"The new girl was being insubordinate, Captain, and when I tried to correct her, she attacked me, sir," the bastard said as he suddenly put on a serious soldier face as if he was explaining a battle situation to a commander. Captain Levi didn't respond. Instead, he turned his bored gaze to me.

"Is this true, Cadet?" He asked in his usual monotone voice. I thought about it. _Maybe it could benefit me to take the fall here since these people may be my key to surviving this whole mess. Plus punishment couldn't be any worse than what I endured underground. _"Oi brat!" The captain snapped, recapturing my attention. I saluted.

"Not exactly, Captain. However, I will admit to provoking Bozado first and being the one to insight the violence. I will take whatever punishment you deem necessary, sir. Also, I was not aware that I needed to come to dinner in uniform. I will not make the same mistake again, Captain," I said in a calm and measured voice. All of that is true, though the second part is stretched a bit. The captain looked at me as though he was gonna question me further but instead he moved on from it.

"Tch. Cadet, as punishment for disrupting the squad and not being in uniform, you will be cleaning my office every evening after dinner until the next expedition," the Captain decided, "Now all of you, quit causing a scene and eat your damned dinner. And cadet, that punishment starts tonight." I groaned internally but when I looked back and saw the shocked faces of my teammates, I decided it was worth it. Oluo even looked a little...apologetic. They noticed me looking at them and I gave them all a reassuring, but fake, smile before approaching the captain who had gone to get food.

"Captain," I greeted quietly. He hummed in response not seeming to pay attention to me.

"I just wanted to know if I should wear my uniform to clean as well. I have already finished my dinner and have time to go and change if necessary, sir," I said, not wanting to get in trouble again. My survival instincts have overwhelmed my pride once again, so being a bit of a suck up was not doing too much damage to it. The captain turned to look at me, looking down at my left wrist which was starting to bruise where Oluo had grabbed it way too tight.

"That won't be necessary. No point in getting dust on your uniform. Meet me at the office in 45 minutes to start your punishment," the captain replied boredly before grabbing his tray of rations and walking to a table that seemed to have the other higher ups there including Erwin, Hange, and a few other people I did not know. I sighed inwardly as I limped to my room to wash my hands and dress in something a little more appropriate for cleaning. _Tonight should be interesting..._

Song: Still Here by Digital Daggers

Edited: 03/24/2020


	8. Ch 8: Maybe He's Not So Bad

"_It takes a huge effort to free yourself from memory."_

**-Paulo Coelho**

—Emmryn's POV—

I walked quickly back to my room and changed into some black leggings that reached my mid calf and a fitted white short sleeved shirt before walking to Captain Levi's office. I took a deep breath to brace myself before knocking on the door.

"Name and business." I heard a familiar bored voice say.

"Emmryn Smith. Here for cleaning duties." There was no response for a couple of seconds until I heard footsteps and the sound of a lock opening before the door was opened to reveal the captain who, surprisingly, was also out of uniform. Instead, he was in a white long sleeve v neck with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and black sweatpants. I felt my face heat up slightly before mentally slapping myself. The captain had a less severe look on his face than usual which also took me aback. He stood off to the side, allowing me to enter his office, which by the way, was spotless.

_What exactly am I supposed to be cleaning in here?_ My thoughts were interrupted by the door closing and the sound of a lock clicking. That sound along with looking up and realizing I was alone in a room with a man caused me to start shaking in fear. _Damn it. Not again. I cannot break down in front of him again. _

It did NOT help when the Captain walked up to me with a stern look on his face. _Oh no... he must have found out about my past. He's probably gonna use punishment as an excuse to get what he wants from me. Walls no... not again._ Again my thoughts were interrupted by the captain as he stopped only a foot in front of me. He reached up and grabbed my left arm and lifted it up, his eyes narrowing at my wrist.

"How did this happen?" He asked, a layer of irritation and... something else in his voice. Concern? No that couldn't be it. He pointed to my wrist which now had a purple bruise in the vague shape of a handprint.

"It's nothing," I said quietly looking at my feet, not wanting to meet his eyes right now. I heard a familiar "Tch." Suddenly, a firm yet gentle hand grasped my chin causing me to whimper in fear as the captain lifted my face to meet his eyes. His usually stern eyes softened ever so slightly.

"Brat, what happened to your wrist? And don't feed me that nothing bullshit," Captain Levi ordered sternly, his voice low and his face way closer to mine then I thought I would be comfortable with. But I also knew he had some muscle on me that would make it difficult for me to get away.

"I-it was an accident, Captain. I'm f-fine," I said, my voice small and again I broke eye contact trying to look anywhere else but his eyes. He sighed, and I felt his breath hit my face. I felt my face heat up a bit.

"Oluo did this. That's why you attacked back. You defended yourself," the captain said. It wasn't a question. I nodded, still refusing to meet his gaze.

"Oi, brat. Look at me. That's an order." Hesitantly, I lifted my eyes back to his. Well, my eye at least. I laughed bitterly as I felt his grip slacken, and I pulled myself back, feeling something in me snap at the unfamiliar emotion I saw in his steel gray eyes.

"So what if he did? It doesn't matter how any guy touches me anyway right? I'm just some rat from the underground anyways. And as if that didn't make me fucked up enough, I'm now a freak!" I said my voice breaking as I lifted the right side of my bangs revealing my scarred right eye and cheek.

"Oi, bra-"

"My name is not brat. It's Emmryn. And I know you said to act like a soldier or else I'm worthless to you. Well guess what? The most I've ever been worth to someone in the last six years is however much some MP or some pompous noble or merchant would pay to touch me! So why the hell would now be any different?!" I interrupted, not caring that I was yelling anymore as I let my bangs cover the right side of my face once again. Hot tears streamed down my face as I looked at the captain challenging him to refute me. Those gray eyes looked like they had a storm brewing in them. There were so many emotions flashing through them, but I didn't care. _I'm worthless. Nothing's changed. I should've ended things a long time ago._

My thoughts were interrupted by arms wrapping around my waist and pulled me close. My eyes widened, and I looked up at the captain despite myself. He looked at me with an expression I just couldn't read, but I almost thought I saw tears in his eyes. That couldn't be right though. This was humanity's strongest soldier.

"Emmryn," he said, clearly trying to fight back some sort of emotion as his arms wrapped tighter around me, "what those men did to you in the underground is not your fault. It doesn't diminish your worth. The men that did that to you are scum. And this," he tucked my bangs that were hanging over my right eye behind my ear before gently running his hand along the scar, "does not make you a freak. It makes you a survivor." He took a deep breath before gently taking my cheek into his hand. I still flinched at the feeling.

"I promise I won't hurt you," the captain said in an almost soothing tone.

"You already did, Captain," I pointed out bitterly, all but spitting the last word, "or did you forget about slapping me across the face when you barely knew me? Or maybe just earlier when you grabbed me by the throat?"

I felt him flinch ever so slightly, and I knew I had hit a nerve. I waited again for the pain I was sure was going to be coming my way for that comment. Again, the captain didn't do what I expected. Instead, I felt a hand press gently on the back of my head pushing me into the captain's chest. I had no idea how to respond.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize at the time what you had just been through. I just thought you were some ungrateful brat who didn't appreciate being reunited with a family member who clearly cares deeply for you. Plus, your back talk was pissing me off. I don't take that shit from any soldier," captain said with a slightly irritated sigh, "but now I know. And to an extent I know about what you went through in the Underground more than anyone else here does." This shocked me. I looked up at him confused.

"What do you mean? How would you know about that at all?" I asked, starting to feel anger bubbling up in me again. The captain stiffened at my question, and I saw a flash of pain in his eyes.

"I want you to learn to trust those of us that are here, so I will tell you. My mother was a prostitute in the underground. My father was one of her clients. She died of a sickness she had contracted from one of her customers when I was around 6 years old," the captain stated calmly but I could see emotions raging in his eyes, "I know what it takes to survive in the Underground, so know that you're not completely alone."

Tears welled up in my eyes. I had been hurting and feeling alone all this time, but here was this captain, humanity's strongest soldier, going way out of his way to help this messed up woman he barely knows. For the first time since before being kidnapped, I felt...heard... and more importantly I didn't feel alone anymore.

"Th-thank you so much, Captain!" I exclaimed grabbing his shirt and burying my face in his chest as sobs wracked my body. For the first time in over 6 years, I truly allowed myself to grieve. I cried for my loss of innocence, for the six years of torture, for the pain of my older brother doing nothing to find me, to being reunited with him only for him to not realize what I needed from him, to being the odd one out in the Survey Corps, for my loss of sight in my right eye and every other hardship I endured that I had to leave bottled up all these years.

I felt the captain's arm around my waist tighten and his other hand gently stroking my hair gently as I soaked his shirt with my tears. He also put his chin on my head and murmured softly as my sobs quieted down.

"Call me Levi."

I looked at him in shock. He looked at me with a soft expression.

"I may be your captain, but I want to be your friend as well. So when it's just you and I, just call me Levi," Levi said calmly as he lifted a hand towards my face. As usual, I instinctually flinched but was able to calm myself as he gently wiped away my tears. I smiled a small but genuine smile at him.

"Thank you, Levi," I said, hesitating before saying his name so I could get used to it. It was a very nice name that felt much nicer to say than calling him 'captain' all the time.

"Emmryn," Levi started as he looked almost apologetic as he moved his to gently run his fingertips over the bruise on my neck, "I'm sorry for slapping you and for this. I thought you were just some insubordinate ungrateful brat who didn't appreciate the freedom you received thanks to Erwin." I glared at him slightly at the last statement.

"The commander did NOT give me my freedom. I fought for my freedom and was tortured almost to the point of death and still managed to run away and escape," I said bitterly, "He didn't even try to look for me while I was gone. He just left me there to suffer." Levi looked like he was gonna say more before just shaking his head at me and finally releasing me from his arms. Part of me felt kind of sad when he did this. Then, I saw the huge wet spot on his shirt where I had been crying.

"Sorry about your shirt, Cap- I mean Levi," I apologized while looking around the room, "so about my punishment... what exactly in here needs to be cleaned?"

"Tonight, nothing needs to be cleaned, but tomorrow you will be making sure there is no dust anywhere in this room," Levi said plainly, "you're dismissed." I looked at him, shocked, before nodding and giving him a salute. He nodded in acknowledgment and I headed towards the door. As I was fixing to leave, the captain spoke again.

"You should also go talk to Erwin soon. Like it or not he is your older brother," he said in his normal bored tone. I looked back at him, my eyes narrowing slightly.

"Is that an order, Captain?" I asked in a cold tone.

"Not yet it's not. Now go get some rest. We start your training tomorrow at sunrise, and I'm warning you: it will be hell," the captain said going to a set of drawers that was in the office and pulling out a clean shirt. I nodded and walked out of his office, feeling more optimistic than I had in years.

_Maybe this won't be so bad after all. I mean the captain turned out to be a decent person. But what did he mean by training will be hell?_ Somehow, I had a sense of dread come over me about training tomorrow. _What the actual hell have I gotten myself into?_

Song: Human by Christina Perri


	9. Ch 9: Let's Get Down to Business

"_Healing can only happen when people are willing to shift."_

_**-Iyanla Vanzant**_

The captain wasn't joking when he said training would be hell. It literally was. My body had been inactive for weeks because of my coma, but that did not excuse me from the rigorous training regiment the captain had set up for me. I ran two miles in the morning, which had to be completed within 13 minutes or else I had to run a third mile, followed by 100 pushups, 200 sit-ups, and 100 jumping jacks. This was all before breakfast.

Afterwards was ODM gear training, and holy crap had I forgotten how painful that stuff is to use at first. My hips and core ached relentlessly from the strain that it put on my body. Not to mention, I honestly wasn't very good at using it. Then, after 3 hours of that training, I had to go straight into horseback riding practice since I hadn't ridden a horse in years. I had to do that for an hour and then spend another hour launching off the horse with my ODM gear. Then, I would take an hour long break for lunch with my squad members, before finally having to do my least favorite part of training: hand to hand combat.

Now, technically, I excelled in this area, but that was only when I was fighting against normal people. However, my hand to hand combat training was against Captain freaking Levi. Largely because of my fear of being touched, I struggled mentally with hand to hand combat and ended up with new bruises and scrapes everyday. After that was dinner, before which the captain would dismiss us all to shower and change. He loosened up about the uniform thing at dinner since we started having dinner pretty late.

True to his word, every night after dinner, there would be work for me to do in his office. It varied slightly between sweeping, dusting, sorting papers/helping do his paperwork, and sometimes, it would be just having a conversation and making tea for him. This continued for about 4 months. I felt myself gradually gaining strength and the trust and respect of my teammates, especially Oluo, though none of them know anything about my past, and they have not seen my right eye yet, thank the Walls. After explaining my reasoning to Levi, he agreed to let Oluo off the hook this time. I also still have yet to speak to Erwin despite Levi's consistent insistence on the subject. In fact, I have specifically avoided Erwin like the plague. Finally, with one month left till the expedition, I was once again in Levi's office after dinner. I was sitting at the left end of his desk helping with paperwork.

"Emmryn," Levi said after about 30 minutes of us doing paperwork in complete silence.

"Hm?" I responded, not looking up from the report I was reading. It was about the long-range scouting formation which meant it was important for me to know.

"You need to talk to Erwin," he said in his usual bored tone. My head shot up as I glared at him.

"Not gonna happen, Levi. We've been over this well over 100 times by now. I'm not changing my mind," I replied firmly. Levi's eyes narrowed at me before relaxing to his normal, bored expression.

"Cadet Emmryn, I order you to go speak with Commander Erwin immediately," Levi said with his authoritative voice. This shocked me. He almost never pulls rank on me when it's just us. I glared at him before standing up and giving him a pissed off salute, walking out of his office, slamming his door as I went. Yes, I'm throwing a temper tantrum but just because he's captain does not give him the right to meddle in my personal affairs.

"Lovers spat huh?" I heard a familiar voice say. I glared at Oluo as he leaned against the wall next to Levi's office door.

"What the hell, Oluo?! I'm literally just leaving a punishment that YOU should technically be doing," I said irritatedly. He smirked at me.

"If I had taken the punishment, I would've gotten a month of stable duty, not 5 months of spending one on one time with the captain," he stated, his smirk growing. I rolled my eyes at him.

"There's nothing between the captain and I," I said bluntly, "Now I have to go see the commander. Captain's orders." I started to walk away, but Oluo walked up beside me.

"I'll walk you," he said hurriedly, his smirk still on his face, "Why do you look so pissed to be seeing the commander?" Debating whether to tell him or not, I continued walking quickly just wanting to get this over with.

"It's not about seeing the commander," I lied, well half-lied. Yes, I didn't want to talk to the commander, but more so, I was pissed that Levi had stuck his nose into my business and was forcing me to do something I had been actively avoiding for months. After that, Oluo seemed to get smart and keep his mouth shut as we reached the commander's office.

"Alright. See ya tomorrow, greenhorn," Oluo joked with a smirk. I waved as he walked off, and then I knocked on the door.

"Name and business." I heard Erwin say from the other side of the door.

"Cadet Emmryn. Captain Levi sent me," I answered in a monotone voice. Hearing papers shuffling, I took a deep breath before the door opened and I was face to face, well face to chest, with Erwin Smith, the older brother I no longer wanted. His blue eyes shined with happiness as he moved, opening the door and motioning for me to come inside. I did so, and he shut the door behind me before walking to his desk and motioning got me to take one of the seats across from him. I walked over to the desk but refused to sit down.

"Emmryn, what a pleasant surprise! What can I do for you?" Erwin said with a kind smile on his face. I glared at him, deciding to be petty.

"Go back 6 years ago and actually act like you give a damn," I said with a monotone voice. I saw him flinch slightly at the harsh words, but I honestly didn't care. He did this to himself. Erwin looked pained and sighed.

"Why are you here, Em?" He asked, clearly disappointed.

"Levi ordered me to come here and talk to you. He pulled rank," I explained bluntly, "And I told you that my name is Emmryn, Commander." Erwin's expression became pained as I nearly spat his title at him.

"Em... how many times do I have to apologize?" He asked in a slightly pleading voice.

"No apology is gonna take back what happened to me down there," I answered solemnly, "There is no fixing this."

"What happened to you down there? I don't even know how to comfort you because I don't know what happened! I believed you were dead this whole time!" Erwin begged to know. My glare faltered slightly.

"That's not what you said at the trial!" I accused, my resolve weakening slightly at the realization.

"I lied, Em. If I told them that I thought you died from that, it would make them think that I believed you to be weak and therefore they would assume you had been easily manipulated by any enemies of the MP that live underground! If I told them that you were a necessary sacrifice for humanity, it would make them feel like you were strong to endure and that I would not give you special treatment," Erwin explained, sadness in his eyes, "When I heard that someone came from the Underground claiming to be the sister of an officer of the Survey Corps, I was afraid to hope that it was you. But when I saw you in that courtroom, I felt both ecstatic that you were alive and shattered by the dead look in your eyes and the wounds on your body. What did they do to you?"

I froze and looked at him. _He finally said the words I had been waiting to hear for 6 fucking years._ Tears stung my eyes but I refused to let them fall yet. If I did, I knew I wouldn't be able to get all the words out. Taking a deep breath, I told him everything. From the rape and kidnapping the first night to the forced prostitution, mental and physical torture, and finally the night of my escape.

"Everyday for the first 2 years, I waited and believed my big brother would come and rescue me. On my 18th birthday, I accepted that you weren't coming to get me," I finally finished, breaking into sobs.

I felt two muscular arms pull my tiny frame into a broad chest as Erwin held me in a hug. I felt his face press into the top of my head, and I felt something wetting my hair. I looked up, and my eyes widened in shock as I saw tears flowing from eyes that matched mine. There were not many tears, but more than anyone else had seen from him.

"Words cannot express the regret that I have in my heart for never coming to look for you, Em. I have failed you as an older brother, and there's nothing I can do to take away what was done to you. I'm so sorry," Erwin said with a sad expression on his face, "But I will do my best to help you from here on out. I will not abandon my cause and my dedication to saving humanity, but I will fight to help you move past this hell you've endured in any way that I can."

His tone was one that even after 6 years I immediately recognized. This was the tone that Erwin used when he was making a promise, a commitment, and expressing his dedication to what he was speaking about, and it was directed at...me... I couldn't hold it anymore. I threw my arms around him, well as best as I could, returning his hug before pulling back from him completely. He looked shocked and hurt before his eyes turned stony, as though he accepted my rejection after the hell I had gone through. I smiled to myself, before snapping into my best salute with a kind smile on my face.

"Commander Erwin, allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Cadet Emmryn Smith, younger sister of Erwin Smith, the greatest commander the Survey Corps has ever seen," I said with a conviction that was characteristic of our family, "I hereby dedicate my heart and soul to your cause, the cause of humanity, and the cause of rebuilding our family." I watched as Erwin looked at me in shock before composing himself and with a small smirk he returned my salute.

"Thank you, Cadet Emmryn. I am honored to be your older brother and your commander. This is a sincere and honest, whole-hearted salute. Welcome to the Survey Corps!" He said as we both smiled, our eyes reflecting an understanding and belonging that neither of us had felt in far too long.

-OLUO'S POV-

After walking Emmryn to the Commander's office, I pretended to walk off, but really just waited till I heard her walk in and shut the door. I quickly sneaked to the door and pressed my ear against it and was shocked at what I heard. Emmryn had gone through so much, and she was the Commander's younger sister! _No wonder she ended up on the Levi squad! She lied to all of us! _Before she left, I walked away to my room deciding on when to tell the others…

Song: Play With Fire by Sam Tinnesz feat. Yacht Money

Edited: 03/24/2020


	10. Ch 10: Training Drills and Loud Mouths

_A Secret told -  
Ceases to be a Secret- then-  
A Secret- kept-  
That-can appal but One-_

_Better of it- continual to be afraid-_

_Than it-  
And Whom you told it to- beside_

_**-Emily Dickinson**_

-EMMRYN'S POV-

After speaking with Erwin, I went back to my room instead of returning to Levi's office. Though everything worked out great, I was still pissed that he forced his way into my personal matters. I went to bed and slept fairly peacefully minus waking up a couple of times from nightmares. The nightmares were still bad, but they had lessened a bit with time and with the environment that was so drastically different from the Underground.

The next morning, I woke up a little earlier than usual and in an exceptionally good mood. Erwin had invited me the night before to eat breakfast at the table he sat at which consisted primarily of other leaders in the Survey Corps. We had agreed that after the first expedition, we would let it be public knowledge that I was his younger sister. That way I had a chance to prove myself first.

I quickly dressed in my uniform, making sure that everything was in place as it should be for my ODM gear and walked down to the cafeteria. There, I was greeted by a tackling hug from everyone's favorite resident crazy scientist.

"Emmmrrryyyyynnnnn! It's been sooooo long! I've missed you!" Hange said excitedly as I shyly pushed her off of me. I smiled up at her.

"Sis, it hasn't been that long. Besides, I've been training," I pointed out politely. Her eyes lit up at the affectionate name, and she took my hand dragging me to the table that already consisted of Erwin, to whom I gave a polite nod to, not wanting to give anything away, Levi, whom I blatantly ignored, and another guy with shaggy dirty blonde hair and a thin mustache. I sat across from Erwin and between Hange and the shaggy haired guy who proceeded to sniff me. I quickly flinched away from him and glared back at him as he smiled to himself.

"Ohhh I forgot you guys haven't met! This is Squad Leader Mike! He gives everyone a good sniff when he first meets them," Hange explained happily as she placed food in front of me. I scooted closer to Hanji and away from this Mike person. The sniffing really creeped me out. My reaction just caused Hange to laugh even harder and I heard a "tch" from my currently least favorite captain; however, I continued to ignore him. I really didn't have the patience for him today.

Everyone continued their conversations, with Hange begging Erwin to let her capture a titan on this next expedition (which he refused) and Mike and Erwin further discussing other details about the long distance scouting formation. I sat silently and listened politely as I ate the bread and soup that was provided for breakfast. After we were done, we all went to our separate duties (well except Levi and I who both had to go to the same place).

When we arrived at the training grounds where we'd be practicing with our ODM gear and practicing our team maneuvers, I smiled slightly and waved at everyone. Everyone responded with either a nod or wave except Oluo, who seemed to have an oddly sadistic looking smirk on his face. My brows furrowed in confusion but decided to let it go as Levi showed up to give out instructions.

"For this expedition, each person will be assigned a partner to be sure to aid in killing and protecting each other from titans. Here are the pairs: Gunther and Eld, Petra and Myself, and Oluo and Emmryn," Levi explained as I noticed Petra immediately perk up due to her obvious crush on the captain. I rolled my eyes slightly at that and the fact that Oluo's smirk seemed to have grown even wider. The captain briefly explained the maneuvers we would be doing which would require us to be perfectly in sync with our partner. We essentially had to practice crossing in front of each other while slashing our blades (we were using dull ones for this exercise) as well as going over and under each other without crossing the lines of our ODM gear.

This was gonna get ugly. My ODM skills were not as good as Oluo's, and I may just end up holding the team back. _But I have to try. _Each pair went through the drills pretty much flawlessly. There were a couple of hiccups with timing with both pairs, but it only took them maybe 15 minutes each of practice to fix those issues. Finally, it was mine and Oluo's turn. I had continued avoiding eye contact with Levi due to his interference last night and that along with Oluo's odd behavior had been starting to really stress me out a bit. Letting out a frustrated sigh, I got into the starting position beside Oluo.

As the captain yelled to begin, Oluo and I both deployed our ODM gear in perfect sync, doing some basic maneuvers to warm up before jumping into the more complicated moves. Everything was going well, we were picking up speed and deftly avoiding the trees until a statement interrupted my concentration.

"How sloppy, Cadet SMITH! Did your big brother not even try to train you before sending you to the Special Operations squad? Or maybe he just sent you here so we could all die protecting your sorry ass!" Oluo sneered loudly to where I knew everyone could hear. The wind was whipping around me quickly, and my focus was shot as I panicked and suddenly hit a tree at a very high speed. A whimper of pain left my lips as I felt a couple of cracks where different bones were probably fractured. _I do not have time for this right before the expedition. How did he find out?! _Those were the thoughts that raced through my head before everything went black.

Song: Secrets by One Republic


	11. Ch 11: My Luck

_Trusting someone,  
it's like walking with your eyes closed.  
Trust no one  
is a sure way to lose those you hold close._

_**-Sentinel**_

-Emmryn's POV-

My eyes opened to a bright blue sky and the sound of yelling from my squad members. Sitting up, I held my head in my hand to try and stop the dizziness I was experiencing; however, I was snapped out of this when I was yanked upright and faced with a pissed off looking team.

"What the hell was that, brat? Are you trying to die BEFORE your first expedition?" Levi yelled as he let go of the arm he had yanked me up by. There was no response from me. Instead, my eyes wandered to my teammates who all looked pissed and distrusting, except for Oluo who looked just as smug as can be.

"Oi! Brat! I asked you a fucking question!" Levi yelled, turning my attention back to him. Before I could respond to him...

"Captain, she's probably scared speechless because her big brother isn't here to protect her," Oluo sneered, "Plus, the training she has isn't suited for titans." With that last statement, he winked suggestively towards me. Involuntarily, my body shuttered, and my eyes widened as I looked at my feet.

"What kind of training do you even have, Emmryn?" I heard Petra inquire in a very hurt and angry tone.

"Yeah! If you aren't trained to fight titans, you shouldn't even be here! That puts our whole damn squad at risk! How selfish are you?" Gunther added, raising his voice for the first time since I'd met him. This broke me.

"Who said I even asked to be here?" I yelled as my head shot up, my bangs on my right side moving, uncovering my right eye. There were audible gasps from my teammates, except for Oluo, who seemed to think continuing to push me was in his best interest.

"So that's why you're here. Can't quite satisfy men if they have to look at that, even if it's just for a cheap lay. That'd ruin any guys ability to fuck you, ruins your ability to remain a prostitute right? So you come crawling back to your precious big brother to try and get some money since you're too ugly to continue in your previous profession," Oluo accused with a huge smirk on his face. The tears that had gathered in my eyes without my knowledge fell as everyone around me was silent. I felt Levi's eyes on me, clearly waiting to see what I would do. He and Erwin could not protect me forever. It's been four months. I could do this.

"Are you done?" I asked monotonously as the tears fell from my eyes as I looked at my team members. All of them had a mixed look of disgust, betrayal, and the worst one: pity.

"If so, there are some things I need to say. You will not get an apology out of me because I don't believe I owe a single person here an apology. My name is Emmryn Smith, and yes, my older brother is Commander Erwin Smith. I had completed one year of my training in the Cadet Corps when I was kidnapped by human traffickers and forced into the Underground. A ransom letter was sent to my older brother who was a Captain in the Scouts at the time. Instead of coming to rescue me or even try and find me, he left me in the underground for the sake of humanity. I was forced into prostitution for 6 years from the age of 16 till I escaped 5 months ago at the age of 22. In addition to the prostitution, I was physically and mentally abused by my captors. I only escaped by enduring two minutes of literal torture in which I was not allowed to make a single sound. My right arm was broken and along with a multitude of other injuries, my right eye was slashed through. I then was forced to try and escape from the underground with terrible injuries before finally making it above ground and fainting and being arrested. At my trial, I was granted a pardon if and only if, I manage to complete three expeditions under the supervision of Captain Levi," I explained bitterly, "None of us chose this situation. I never wanted to be a burden to anyone. I just wanted freedom, the same thing you all are fighting for." And with that I turned away from my team and using my ODM gear, I fled back to the base, not caring to hear their responses.

— Levi's POV—

_Damn... That speaking ability and charisma is definitely a family trait, but while Erwin always sounded so strong and confident, Emmryn just sounded... broken._ After Oluo's comments about Emmryn being a prostitute, I had seen red and nearly kicked his ass right then, but I had talked to Erwin after he and Emmryn spoke. He said she was trying to become stronger, and she couldn't do that if we all fought her battles for her. Shitty glasses had agreed and said allowing her to hold her own socially on a team could really aid in her mental healing. So I had kept my bored expression constant throughout the whole exchange. Now, Emmryn had left and while part of me wanted to chase her down and reprimand her for leaving training without permission, there were bigger issues at hand.

"I can't believe she lied to us," Petra lamented, clearly hurt and angry. Eld and Gunther nodded in agreement.

"Aw well it's probably best that she ran off. Can't have a prostitute ruining the pedigree and dignity of the Levi squad," Oluo boasted proudly. And that was the statement that earned him a hard punch to the stomach, knocking the wind out of him and landing him on the ground.

"Shut the hell up, Oluo! This is my fucking squad and I will determine how it needs to be ran," I stated the calmness of my voice laced with an edge of anger, "I don't give a damn about the past. Just the kind of soldier you all can be." My squad looked at me nervously, and Oluo began digging his own grave.

"Then Captain, you've seen how far behind us she is skills wise. Why would she be allowed on our squad? She's not worthy of being on this squad," Oluo backpedaled, trying to make his issues with her skills instead of her background. I picked him up off the ground by his collar until he was eye level with me.

"This is the last fucking time I'm telling you this. This is my fucking squad. Don't even think about telling me how to run it again," I stated as I shoved him back down to the ground and began walking back towards HQ before turning to glare at him, "And if you ever endanger a member of this squad again, your ass is getting moved to another squad if I don't decide to fucking feed you to a titan myself." Then I proceeded to walk off in search of a dark copper haired girl that looked murderous and dead at the same time when she had left.

Song: You Let Me Walk Alone by Michael Schulte

Edited: 03/25/2020


	12. Ch 12: Em's First Expedition (pt 1)

_A hardened soul will repel anything  
tossed at it; words, love, compassion,  
even darts. A stoic shell grown of misery  
and trial needs two loving hands to  
massage and hold, soften and bend, to  
dissolve that poisonous and unyielding  
force held protectively dear. Hold still,  
beautiful one, and allow another to reach  
within to touch and let the healing begin._

_**Maureen Alexandra**_

— Emmryn's POV—

After that day, I decided to keep to myself. I felt dead inside and saw no reason to try and form a friendship with anyone. As a result, Levi, Hange, and even Erwin were kept at arm's length. I just couldn't handle any sort of emotional interaction.

Levi tried multiple times in the month leading up to the expedition to get me to talk during my nightly cleaning duties in his office. All he ever got from me was one word and shallow answers. He eventually got the message and stopped trying to have a pleasant conversation. Instead, he opted for giving me space after what happened at the training grounds, most likely at Hange's suggestion.

As for the rest of the squad... well they had different reactions. Eld was polite to me and seemed apologetic for his behavior. Gunther was kind but clearly still didn't 100% trust me. Petra was apparently jealous of me spending time in the Captain's office (I overheard her complaining about it to another soldier), and Oluo... that motherfucker continued to make underhanded and suggestive comments about me being a prostitute anytime Levi was out of earshot. The dude was so lucky that I wasn't a snitch.

Finally, we reached the day of the expedition. I woke up after another nearly sleepless night and quickly dressed in my uniform deciding to pin my bangs to the side, showing my right eye. I just didn't want my hair flying everywhere during the expedition. As soon as that was done, I walked at a brisk pace to the cafeteria for breakfast. After grabbing my daily rations, I decided to sit in my new typical spot, which is in the back corner of the cafeteria next to a large window. I quickly ate my breakfast before laying my head on my arms on the table in front of me. _Gosh I am so exhausted._

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a cup being placed in front of me. I lazily looked up to see a cup of tea in front of me. Confused, my gaze continued to rise to see a bored-looking Levi. Well, at first glance he would appear bored, but there was emotion in his eyes that I was just too tired to worry about.

"Drink it. You look like shit, and the last thing I need is you being too tired and getting yourself killed on your first expedition," Levi ordered, and I smiled slightly in spite of myself. He truly was kind under that douchebag exterior he showed everyone.

"Thank you, Levi," I replied quietly as I gingerly lifted the cup to my lips with both hands. The warm liquid woke me up, and the sweet taste was evidence that the stoic captain had not forgotten my preference for having sugar in my tea. Despite feeling mostly dead inside the past month or so, it was a nice comfort on what could be my last day alive. Today, I would be facing the titans as an official member of the Scouts.

"Tch. We leave in ten minutes. Make sure you're ready and on your horse by that time," Levi said in his usual bored tone as he walked away, not waiting for my response. I sighed and finished drinking my tea. Today was going to be rough.

Trost was now the exit of choice for expeditions since the fall of Shiganshina and Wall Maria. This event had come as a shock to me when I had found out about it during my training. As we approached the gate, I felt my pulse quicken and my stomach churn. It's not that I feared death for myself. In fact, I felt pretty okay with the idea at this point. The world was an ugly place that I was frankly fed up with and had very little hope for; however, Erwin had hopes and faith in humanity, and that was something that I did not want taken from him.

The pale gray mare I was riding and had named Icarus shifted slightly under me, clearly sensitive to my unease. My hand reached out and stroked her mane in response, swiveling my head slightly to the right to make up for the huge blind spot I had on my right side.

"We will now conduct the 30th expedition outside the walls! Let us continue our fight for humanity and its survival! Onwards!" Erwin yelled as he lifted one of his blades into the air, signaling all of us to move forwards. Taking a deep breath, I nudged Icarus with my heels till she reached a gallop in time with the rest of the Scouts.

And suddenly, I was greeted with the sight of a bright blue sky and a sense of freedom, despite still being within wall Maria. My head swiveled once again to take in my surroundings. I was in the front left of the formation in the Levi Squad. Levi was, of course, front and center. Petra was to my right. Gunther was in the back center. Eld was behind Petra, and Oluo was, unfortunately, behind me.

"Don't piss yourself, greenhorn!" Oluo jeered at me. I rolled my eyes at his statement but ultimately ignored him when I heard the familiar sound of him biting his tongue while riding. This caused a small smirk to appear on my lips. _Serves him right_. Next thing I know, we hear Erwin yell that it is time to move to his long range scouting formation. With this order, the entire formation decompressed, and we were officially heading towards our destination, to set up supply bases throughout Wall Maria so that we could eventually go outside of the walls completely again.

Suddenly, the feeling of thundering footsteps caught my attention. My eyes widened as I saw 3 grotesque monsters sauntering towards us. Titans. They were even uglier than I had imagined. They were over 10 meters tall and one of them had this creepy smile, one had large bulging eyes, and the third had a major pot belly. They were terrifying, and I felt myself begin to shake especially when I saw a group of soldiers going to attack them. Without warning, the one with bulging eyes reached out and grabbed one of the soldiers trying to attack them and without hesitation bit him clean in half.

A scream escaped my lips as the blood spurted everywhere, and without thinking, I broke formation to help those who were struggling with the titans. The sound of the captain yelling after me barely even registered in my mind. There was fear in my heart, but there was an overwhelming conviction that those sacrificing their lives had much more valuable and important lives than I did. The most I could do was try and save as many valuable lives as I could.

With surprising precision, I deployed my ODM gear, attaching the hooks into the arm of the one with bulging eyes, using gas to speed me up and momentum, I slashed up its arm before reaching its neck and slashing through the nape as hard as I could. With a scream it fell to the ground, steam rising from its dead body as I whistled for my horse and jumped onto her back as I fell from the titan.

With blood pounding in my ears from the adrenaline, I took in my surroundings and paled as I saw something that was almost as terrifying as the titans themselves. The other two titans were on the ground with steam rising up from their bodies, between them was an extremely pissed looking Captain Levi with titan blood evaporating as steam off multiple parts of his body. _He looks really badass. Wait focus, Emmryn. You're totally dead... _With that thought, I turned my horse around galloping back to formation as fast we could. _Walls, please spare me from Captain Levi's wrath._

Song: Colors by Halsey

Edited: 03/25/2020


	13. Ch 13: Em's First Expedition (pt 2)

"_Anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you."_

_**Misty Copeland**_

Fortunately, I reached the formation before Captain Levi and quickly returned to my position. He arrived just seconds later, and I actively avoided his obvious glare. The tension among our squad was palpable, but I simply ignored it as we continued towards our camp for the night.

The rest of the day passed relatively smoothly, at least from what I could see from our squad's position in the formation. We had to change directions a couple of times to avoid titans, and by dusk, we had reached a small gathering of buildings that had been established as a base on a previous expedition.

The buildings were made of stone and were in surprisingly good shape despite being outside of the walls. There were 3 two-story buildings and a couple more one story buildings along with a tower that reached maybe 20 meters tall. Only about 5 meters from the buildings, there stood a spattering of about 15 trees that served as a perfect place to assign lookouts. It was a pretty smart setup all things considered.

When we reached the base, our squad followed the captain to the one story building that had a bit of an awning that had been built to shelter the horses. Here, we were ordered to dismount, tie up, feed, and water our horses. As I tied up Icarus and moved mindlessly through the other tasks associated with it, I cringed at the pain between my legs from riding all day. The pain was unsettlingly similar to a pain that I was unfortunately all too familiar with. Before I could get lost in a painful memory, my thoughts were interrupted by a bored, baritone voice.

"Emmryn," Captain Levi called, causing me to look up to see him standing right next to me, the other members of our squad having been dismissed to tasks elsewhere in the base, "We need to talk." His voice didn't show it, but his eyes were still blazing with what I could only imagine to be anger causing me to flinch slightly before quickly composing myself.

"About what, Captain?" I asked innocently as I looked up at him, a confused look on my face. This caused him to glare before grabbing my arm and dragging me to the small scattering of trees nearby. Oddly enough, it appeared that no one had been stationed here yet to act as lookout.

"Emmryn," Levi all but growled, once again snapping me out of previous thoughts, "What the hell was that out there?" I shrugged nonchalantly.

"Me saving lives," I replied in a bored tone that matched his usual one. Levi pinched the bridge of his nose, a barely audible growl leaving his throat.

"You could have died," he scolded angrily. Again, I simply shrugged at him, not seeing the big deal.

"So? I didn't. And even if I had and it saved someone else, it could benefit humanity. After all, that's what we are all fighting for, right?" I argued, causing his eyes to widen only a fraction before his glare intensified.

"Are you saying that your life is worth less than the other soldiers here?"

"Yes," I answered without hesitation.

"Then you should know that you also put the lives of your whole squad in danger," Levi stated plainly, using my own logic against me, which pissed me off a bit.

"Correction, _Captain_," I retorted, snarling the title at him, "I put _myself_ in danger. _You_ followed me of your own free will. You were under no orders to do so. Don't go blaming me for your rash decision to save some random ex-prostitute from a decision I chose to make!" The fury and self-loathing was clear in my voice.

Suddenly, I felt myself slammed into the tree behind me by my throat causing me to involuntarily whimper in pain. Levi quickly removed his hand from my throat, his eyes clearly shining with guilt; however, he didn't move his hand far, choosing instead to rest it beside my head. There was a look that I barely recognized in his clear blue eyes, concern. Noticing it caused my resolve to waiver slightly. Then leaning his head so close to my ear that I could feel his warm breath, causing me to shiver slightly, he finally spoke again.

"Emmryn," he started, his strained voice along with his warm breath fanning across my ear and neck causing me to shiver again, "Do NOT refer to yourself that way, and do NOT put yourself in danger like that again. I told you that I considered you a friend, and I refuse to lose another friend to a titan."

My eyes widened in shock. _What does he mean by another friend?_ Also, he still cared about me even after me ignoring and being mad at him? To be honest, I hadn't had many friends growing up, even before I got kidnapped, so I didn't really know how that dynamic was supposed to work.

"W-why? Why do you care so much?" I asked, my voice cracking slightly as I felt my heart race and my face heat up under his intense gaze. He just shook his head and clicked his tongue leaning back so he could look me in the eyes, his face just inches away from my own.

"I've been trying to figure that out from the beginning," he said, his voice low and almost frustrated, "I can't stand most people, but for some reason, I need you to stay safe." He shook his head again and clicked his tongue, clearly irritated with himself for saying all of that.

"It's not just me though. It would be a huge blow to Eyebrows to lose you now," he added, changing the focus of the conversation. I cringed slightly at that last statement as my expression softened even more, staring into his eyes with my one good eye before reality hit me, and I snickered darkly.

"But I bet the rest of Squad Levi would do a happy dance around my corpse," I stated bluntly, laughing without humor as I turned my gaze to my boots. Suddenly, Levi grasped my chin, his calloused hand being surprisingly gentle as he tilted my head up to look at him causing me to blush yet again. He looked me in the eyes, a small smirk playing on his lips at the blush that was spreading across my cheeks before his gaze turned serious.

"They're why you're acting like this, especially Oluo," he stated. It wasn't a question but more of an observation of a realization. He clicked his tongue before releasing my chin and backing up a bit so I could walk away from the tree. Part of me was sad about this as the warmth from him being so close was suddenly taken away. _Wait. No. Bad Emmryn. Do NOT even start going down that road._

Thankfully, my thoughts were again interrupted by Levi grabbing my arm and dragging me back towards camp.

"Levi," I called finally dropping the 'Captain' for only the second time since our argument, causing him to turn towards me with a small smile, causing my heart to almost stop and my face to undoubtedly turn more red than my hair. _Walls, he was attractive when he smiled. Aghhhh... Stop it, Emmryn! He's just being nice to you because you are the Commander's sister. _

"Where are we going?" I forced myself to ask before I could let my thoughts go off the rails any further.

"To settle an issue I should have taken care of in the beginning. I will NOT have my squad acting like this due to someone's past. It was none of their damn business in the first place," Levi stated, his normal bored tone returning as he released my arm as we were getting closer to the base, "And when we get back from this expedition, Oluo is gonna have stable duty for at least two months for causing all this damned trouble."

Now, it was my turn to smirk. This must be what people mean when they say there were perks to having friends in high places. I had already tried making nice with everyone and even took a punishment I hadn't deserved, but this time, for once, I trusted someone, Levi Ackerman to be precise, to be in my corner. I wasn't alone. Just as he helped and saved me from those titans, he was willing to protect me from those who wished me harm, even within his own squad.

And to be honest, my heart felt warm for the first time in a long time in a way that I couldn't quite explain. It was different from the comfort and warmth I felt from being able to depend on Erwin. Whatever the feeling was, I didn't want it to go away especially since I didn't know which monsters I feared more: titans or humans.

Songs: Move Like A Soldier by Kristina Maria

Edited: 03/26/2020


	14. Ch 14: Em's First Expedition (pt 3)

"_Wherever you are, you can begin again."_

_**-Dhiman**_

"Squad Levi! With me! Now!" Levi ordered as we entered one of the two-story buildings. The other squad members gathered in seconds, standing at attention as I fell into formation with them. My fellow squad members either glared at me with obvious disdain (Oluo and Gunther) or completely ignored me (Eld and Petra).

"Come with me. We have first watch," Levi informed in his normal apathetic tone as he turned and walked out of the building, quickly followed by the rest of us as we all walked in silence to the gathering of trees that Levi and I were in earlier. On the walk over, I fell back walking a meter or so behind everyone else, plagued by my own insecurities now that it was no longer just Levi and me.

When we reached the trees, we all went to our assigned positions with me being in the center, next to Levi, with Oluo and Gunther being to our right, closer to Levi and the other two being on the left, closer to me. Being next to Levi helped me relax ever so slightly until his baritone voice rang out through the trees.

-LEVI'S POV-

It was time for this shit show to end. My hand-picked squad had caused a cadet with great promise and determination to almost give herself up unnecessarily to be eaten by a damned titan. The thought pissed me off. It had absolutely nothing to do with how I had this inexplicable urge to protect the dark copper-haired girl. At first, I chalked up the connection I felt to the face that she and my mother were both prostitutes in the Underground at some point; however, that doesn't explain the realization I had when I went after her when she had recklessly broken formation earlier.

At the time, I had not been thinking as a Captain should. By leaving my squad without a second thought, I had left them, as well as our entire section of the formation, vulnerable, all for the sake of Emmryn Smith, an unranked, ungraduated cadet who was known to be unstable and, as far as we know, only joined the Scouts to avoid jail time. However, none of that had even crossed my mind when I went after her.

No, when I went after Emmryn, only one thought had crossed my mind. _I am NOT letting Emmryn be taken away from me!_ All of the time we had spent together over the last several months had flashed through my mind. Her flinching when I scolded her melting to relief when I had taken her face in my hands instead of hitting her like so many had before me. That look itself could have kept me going for days. It was so innocent as her sky blue left eye and even her sightless right eye had widened before relaxing, filled with relief and hope. I can only imagine that it was a hope that her suffering might finally be over with this fresh start.

That hope stayed in her eyes for months and seemed to grow each day, and soon, it was joined by something that only seemed to make her eyes shine brighter: Confidence. I had grown accustomed to and had truly enjoyed seeing more of it each night that she came in to clean my office.

I had never been one for conversation, but Emmryn had never seemed to mind. Our occasional conversations were actually not so annoying. We talked about different teas and her interest in reading, especially poetry. Those conversations had quickly become my favorite, if only because her expression would change to a rare, large smile.

Unfortunately, all that had ended that day during training when Oluo had revealed her past. After my outburst at my squad following Emmryn running off, I had tried to pretend that Emmryn's change in behavior hadn't bothered me. It shouldn't have affected me. I'm Captain goddamned Levi, humanity's strongest soldier and known unemotional hardass. Emmryn could handle her own shit. She'd have to. It wasn't my problem.

Even though I knew all of that, I had found myself sleeping even less than usual and burying myself in work. The shine to Emmryn's eyes was gone, and I couldn't shake the feeling of wanting to punch something in frustration, whether that frustration was at the change in Emmryn or the fact that I was letting it affect me was a mystery even to me.

Then, when I had taken her to the lookout spot to scold her, the realization as to just how much what had happened with the squad bothered her sparked my anger towards my squad, and I had been overwhelmed with the need to protect and comfort her as well as a feeling I couldn't quite explain. It was driving me crazy as her scent of strawberries had filled my nostrils when I had leaned next to her ear. One thought had stood out to me above all the others: _Emmryn Smith, what the hell are you doing to me?_

All these thoughts had swarmed my head as my squad (Emmryn included) and I had walked to the lookout post. Once we had all gotten into position, I decided it was time to handle this damned mess before it got any worse and ended up getting one or more of my squad members killed. I didn't know why, but I did know that I could not lose the young Smith, especially to a stupid dispute like this.

"Alright everyone, listen up!" I called out in my usual authoritative voice as I looked to my left and right to make sure everyone was listening, "Your teamwork this past month has been deplorable, and frankly, I'm sick of it. Now do any of you care to explain to me what the damned problem is?" At my last question, I noticed Emmryn tense up, and I resisted the urge to growl in annoyance as Oluo voiced the answer she had clearly been anticipating.

"Cadet Smith, Captain. The greenhorn lied to all of us and also used her relationship to the Commander to be placed in a higher position. She's clearly lacking the skills to be on the Special Operations squad, and to top it all off, she put our entire squad in danger from her reckless actions today," Oluo explained, the smirk evident underneath his tone of respect. I resisted the urge to glare at him for a moment, instead nodding in acknowledgement of his statement before looking at the other squad members.

"Are the rest of you in agreement with this?" I asked, my bored tone masking my anger. Gunther nodded in response, but Petra and Eld both hesitated.

"I agree that she put us all in danger earlier to an extent, but most of the danger was put on herself and she did manage to save lives in the process, but…" Petra admitted, looking conflicted, and I noticed the steely look in Emmryn's eyes soften a bit in shock.

"But her hiding her past is really suspicious. If she can't trust us enough to share this information, why the hell should we trust her?" Eld finished, directing his attention to Emmryn as he asked the question. I shifted my gaze to Emmryn to see a small light back in her one visible blue eye, as I nodded, letting her know to answer the question. She gave a small smile as she tied the top part of her hair back, showing her right eye without fear and seeming to be unashamed of it for the first time.

"I spent years being abused and tortured by men, waiting for the man I trusted more than anything, Commander Erwin Smith, to come and save me. And he never did. When I first joined the Survey Corps after my arrest, Erwin and I were not exactly on good terms. To put it bluntly, I hated him with every fiber of my being. The only reason I joined was to avoid jail time. However, thanks to some unwanted intervention from outside parties, we eventually reconciled. Still, I wanted to make my own path here in the Scouts without everyone's opinions being affected by a past I had no control over or by who my older brother is," Emmryn explained, her voice soft, but strong and filled with confidence as she looked at the other squad members and continued, "I apologize that you all felt deceived by my actions. I assure you that was not my intention. Please forgive my unintentional deception."

She gave a salute first in the direction of Oluo and Gunther and then towards Eld and Petra before bowing in apology. My expression softened ever so slightly as my gaze rested on hers and she lifted her head. She gave me an ever so small smile that quickly turned to a look of shock as Petra ran over to her and hugged her.

My normal bored gaze moved between my other three squad members. Gunther and Eld both looked at each other with a nod and a smirk as they too went over to Emmryn who was still in shock, Eld ruffling her hair and Gunther giving her a kind pat on the back.

"We're sorry too, Emmryn! It sounds like you went through more than any of us could understand! Please forgive us!" Petra apologized loudly as she released Emmryn from the hug with a smile.

"Yeah. You're alright, kid. We've got your back from here on out," Eld added with an assuring smile, and Emmryn looks at him and nods.

"Just don't go running off on your own like that anymore, alright?" Gunther interjected with a small smile of his own, "And for Walls sake, no more secrets!" Emmryn nodded again as I noticed her eyes shining, turning glassy as tears started to fall from them.

"Thank you all so much! I won't be so reckless again," she assured with a bright smile that caused a warm feeling to bubble up inside of me, "And no more secrets."

Tearing my gaze from the heartwarming scene to my left, I turned my head to look at the remaining member of my team.

Oluo's face was frozen into a shocked, angry expression. He clearly never expected the rest of the squad to forgive the young Smith. Part of me wanted to smirk, but instead I kept my usual stoic expression.

"Oluo," I called out, getting his attention, " I don't care how you found out that information about Cadet Smith, but your big mouth caused our whole squad to be in danger by creating an unnecessary divide. You will be cleaning the stables on your own for 2 months when we return from this expedition." My tone left zero room for discussion as I turned my gaze in front of me, focusing on keeping watch. The rest of the squad quickly returned to their positions and did the same as we waited on the next shift to arrive.

Song: Catch Fire by Jenix

Edited: 03/26/2020


	15. Ch 15: Em's First Expedition (Concl)

_The lesson._

_Not everyone you love_

_Will stay_

_Not everyone you trust_

_Will be loyal_

_Some people only exist_

_As examples of what to avoid_

**_-Author Unknown_**

-EMMRYN'S POV-

The rest of our lookout shift passed by in a flash after our initial discussion, and for the first time in a while, my heart felt light. A huge burden had been removed from my shoulders thanks to one, usually apathetic, raven-haired captain, and I was determined to thank him somehow when we returned from the expedition.

After the next team came to relieve us, Squad Levi returned to camp and were told to sleep on the second floor of the building Levi and I had found the rest of the squad in earlier, while Levi went, I assumed, to report to Erwin and spend the night with the other officers. Our entire squad was exhausted and quickly fell asleep after eating our rations.

The whole Scouting Legion was up at the break of dawn and had set out to continue the expedition before the sun had fully risen above the horizon. Despite my soreness from riding the day before, I found myself almost giddy as I mounted Icarus and admired the horizon.

"Oi, greenhorn!" Oluo's voice called as I turned towards him, "If you don't focus, you're gonna get eaten by a titan!" I smiled at him despite his obnoxiously pompous tone as I fell into formation to his right and Levi's left, the captain looking bored as ever.

"Awww, Oluo! Thanks! You must secretly care," I teased, tying the top half of my hair back out of my face revealing both my eyes as I focused my gaze ahead. I noticed that small shadows were starting to appear in the right part of my vision, and I took that as a hopeful sign that maybe I could one day recover some of my sight in my right eye.

"Tch! Like I'd ever care for some greenhorn underground prostitute like you!" he retorted, and I noticed Levi tense up ever so slightly ahead of us. _Sigh. Time for me to once again do damage control and save Oluo's ungrateful ass. _I nudged Icarus to pick up speed just enough to catch up with Levi before speaking just loud enough for only him to hear.

"It's fine, Levi. Thanks to what you did yesterday, I can handle him myself," I said, giving the stoic captain a reassuring smile when his eyes met mine briefly as he nodded acknowledging that he had heard me. I quickly fell back into formation.

"Oluo, you moron! Don't talk to Emmryn like that!" Petra was scolding angrily from Levi's right, and I smiled even wider at her jumping to my defense.

"It's fine, Petra!" I called out before directing my words to Oluo, my tone slightly taunting, "Hey Captain Wannabe! You're going to feel really stupid when this Training Corps droupout, ex-prostitute beats your kill count within 3 expeditions!"

Laughs could be heard from my other three squad members, especially at my 'Captain Wannabe' comment. All Oluo could do was click his tongue in response.

Just like the first day of the expedition, our second day went fairly smooth; however, that all changed when, as we were almost back to our base outside the walls, red flares began showing up on all sides of the formation. Seconds later, black flares were shot up on both sides as well. My heart rate shot up as I tried not to panic.

"Squad Levi, prepare to deploy ODM gear!" Levi ordered, just as 5 titans came into our view. There were two ten meters, an eight meter, a twelve meter, and a six meter approaching us. The six meter was on all fours and moving with much greater speed than the others. My eyes widened: an abnormal. Before I had time to panic, Levi began barking out orders.

"Oluo and Petra, you two take out the twelve meter and then provide support for whoever needs it when you're done. Eld, Gunther, each of you take care of one of the ten meters. Smith, you've got the eight meter. The abnormal is mine! Now! Go!" Levi ordered launching himself from his horse and deploying his ODM gear.

With no hesitation, all the members of our squad went after our assigned titans. As I came up to the eight meter, I deployed my ODM gear, attaching the hooks into its back as I quickly used the gas to propel myself upwards, retracting the hooks before landing on the neck of the titan.

Right as I saw a giant hand reach for me, I jumped and cut a deep section of the nape out of the titan's neck, successfully killing it. As the titan fell, I ran halfway down its front before attaching my hooks to the ground and jumped, rolling as I hit the ground to reduce the impact. I quickly whistled for my horse and mounted Icarus as soon as she reached me.

Looking up, I saw a sight that took my breath away for all the wrong reasons. Levi was on the back of the abnormal when it suddenly stopped, flinging Levi forward and grabbing him tightly in midair. Without thinking, I had Icarus shoot forward and, right as the titan opened its mouth to eat the captain, I deployed my ODM gear and used a large burst of gas to gain momentum and cut the titan's arm that was clutching the captain clean off.

The hand released Levi, and he rolled on the ground unmoving, causing my heart to ache as I felt an unfamiliar rage fill me. Turning my focus to the abnormal, I let out a yell in my rage as I travelled up its remaining arm, slashing it to pieces as I made my way up to its neck. Using my momentum and the strength from my rage-filled adrenaline, I slashed out a section of the nape so deep that it almost beheaded the damned thing.

I fell back down, landing on Icarus who had dutifully followed me, before guiding us to where Levi had fallen. There was a small pool of blood around him and his ODM gear, along with his left arm, appeared to be crushed. My breath caught in my throat as I dismounted Icarus and ran to him.

That's when I noticed the very slight rise and fall of his chest. Levi was alive! Thank the Walls, but I didn't know how long he would make it without medical attention. In order to hopefully slow or stop the bleeding, I ripped off a strip of my green Survey Corps cloak and wrapped it tightly around the wound that I found on his right temple.

Right as I was trying to figure out how I was going to move him while doing the least damage possible, I heard the familiar thumping sound of horses approaching us. My gaze shot up, expecting to see our squad but instead, I was met with the concerned face of my older brother. Relief and panic flooded me simultaneously causing my head to spin as I gently placed Levi's head on the ground as not to hurt him, before running up to my brother and his tall white horse.

"Erwin! It's Levi! He's hurt! His head is bleeding, and his arm is broken! He's still breathing, but barely! Please help, Erwin!" I begged, panic filling my voice and tears filling my eyes. My older brother looked at me in shock. Sure, we had gotten closer, but I'm sure he had not expected me to lose my composure so much, especially in front of others.

"Cadet Emmryn, calm down. We are retreating, and we will need you at your best to fight off the titans as we do so," Erwin said authoritatively, his voice a deadly calm in contrast to my panicked tone. He looked to a man to his left, I believe his name was Mike, and nodded. Quickly, Mike and the two others with them went over, carefully picking up Levi and placing him in the cart for those who were too injured to ride a horse.

As they rode off, leaving Erwin and I alone, he took out his flare gun, loaded it, and shot it high into the air. The blue pillar of smoke signalled our retreat, and I quickly mounted Icarus, getting ready to speed off to the formation.

"Em," Erwin called, his voice much kinder now that we were alone, "I can see that you and Levi have gotten close, but you need to keep your head straight if you don't want to lose others." I glared at him.

"I apologize, _Commander_," I growled, spitting his title at him, "But I have not lost anyone yet. He is still alive, and my head is fine. If humanity loses Captain Levi, we lose one of, if not the, most important soldiers we have in the fight against the titans. I'll return to my position, _Commander_." With that, I gave my brother a quick salute before leading Icarus back to our space in formation, ignoring the questions of concern from my fellow squad members.

The retreat went by in a blur for me. Despite this, I managed to kill three more titans and provide four assists when the titans got too close to the injured cart. Finally, we reached the inside of the Walls. The heckling and rude stares of civilians barely reached me as I stayed fully focused on the medic cart.

Two hours later, we reached the Survey Corps HQ, and I had to force myself to correctly stable Icarus, take a shower and change clothes before sprinting to the infirmary. _Please be okay, Levi… Please…_

Song: The Monster by Eminem ft. Rihanna

Edited: 03/26/2020


	16. Ch 16: I Can't Go Back

_Running through the trees_

_In her dreams,_

_She trips on jagged roots,_

_Becomes tangled _

_in the overgrown brush._

_The birds in the sky warn her_

_That her memories are close behind._

_Twisted branches reach for her,_

_The earth rises up to swallow her_

_As pain echoes through the woods,_

_Lingering in the leaves._

_**-Christy Ann Martine**_

When I had reached the infirmary, Hange was already helping the medics with Levi, but when she saw my distraught expression, she immediately came to me. She opened her mouth, no doubt to ask if I was injured, but I cut her off.

"How bad are his injuries?" I asked, my voice taking on a calm, quiet tone, my eyes never leaving the raven-haired captain. Hange's eyes turned more serious as she put a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"He's lost a fair bit of blood, broke his left arm, and has three cracked ribs. Those'll be painful, but they'll fully heal in time…" Hanji comforted, but I knew there was something she was leaving out.

"But?" I demanded, my gaze still on Levi as the medics properly cleaned and wrapped his head. At least they got the blood out of his hair. That would've driven that clean freak of a captain crazy. Hanji sighed.

"You Smiths are too perceptive for your own damn good," she muttered before reluctantly telling me the words I had been dreading to hear, "Emmryn, the blow to his head has put him into a coma. We don't know if he'll wake up, and even if he does, we don't know when that will be and if his brain sustained any permanent damage."

This caused my eyes to snap up to hers with a glare. Hange was clearly shocked and took a nervous step back, which honestly was probably a smart thing to do. I needed to punch or break something or someone. I really didn't care which at this point. Sending one more look towards Levi as the medics finished tending his injuries and realizing there was nothing I could do at the moment, I turned and ran.

I ran all the way to the training grounds before I was stopped by none other than the rest of Squad Levi. They all looked concerned, though Oluo still managed to give me a look of distaste, and I once again felt my anger flaring.

"Emmryn, what happened?" Petra asked, her voice laced with genuine concern, "Are you injured? Where's Captain Levi?" At her last question, my head dropped to stare at the ground, and my hands balled into fists as I fought back tears of anger and guilt.

"Oi! Greenhorn, don't ignore your superiors. Now, where is the Captain?" Oluo demanded, but my gaze remained on my feet.

"Petra, Eld, Gunther, Oluo," I addressed each of them, refusing to lift my head as I fought (and somehow succeeded) to keep my voice steady, "Captain Levi sustained a major head injury while fighting the abnormal titan we ran into. Section Commander Hange has informed me that the captain is currently in a coma, and the doctors are unsure of when or even if he will wake up."

Petra's gasp was audible, and a growl escaped Oluo. Next thing I know, someone grabbed the collar of the gray button up I was wearing and used it to lift me off of the ground. It didn't take a genius to figure out who was responsible so I continued to focus on the ground, not willing to meet any of their concerned or angry faces.

"How could you let this happen, you stupid slut?! Don't you realize how much more valuable to humanity Captain Levi is? Especially compared to some Underground sewer rat like you!" Oluo yelled, tightening his grip on my collar. At this, I finally looked up and locked eyes with the curly haired asshole. I'd had enough.

"Listen, asshole. One of these days, you're going to make that comment in front of the captain, and I won't step in to take the heat off of your ungrateful ass. I risked my life to save the captain and took down an abnormal titan _by myself_ on my _1st fucking expedition_," I vented angrily, my voice staying dangerously low, "Where the fuck were you?"

The whole squad looked shocked, and Oluo released me from his grip, before completely ignoring my question, "What the hell gives you the right to be so upset? We've known the captain longer than you. Or did you provide your _services_ to him when you were supposedly cleaning his office?"

_CRRRAAACKKKKK!_

I blinked in surprise. Oluo was on the ground with a very bloody, clearly broken nose, but no one would have guessed who was responsible for the punch that caused this. Spoiler alert: I'm sad to say it wasn't me.

"Shut the hell up, Oluo! Hasn't the captain already told you to cut it out? Emmryn is our squad member, and from what I've seen, a damn good one at that. So knock it off because the more shit like this you pull, the more I will have to report to Captain Levi _when_ he wakes up," Eld ordered, his usual relaxed tone gone as he spoke with authority and conviction, leaving no room for arguments as Petra wiped her now bloody fist off on her uniform pants, "And he _will_ wake up. It'll take more than a head injury to take Captain Levi out of commission."

For the first time, I saw why Levi made Eld second in command, and I was truly grateful for both him and Petra. His words and Petra's actions encouraged me, and after the emotional rollercoaster I'd been on, I was too hungry and exhausted to deal with anymore, so I made my way to the mess hall while the others dealt with Oluo.

I quickly grabbed my rations and made myself a cup of tea with three sugar cubes. There was some tea left in the kettle, so I made another cup for Levi to take to him in his office. Suddenly, it hit me again. Levi wasn't in his office. He was in a coma. Tears started to prick my eyes, but I shook my head to dispel them and reminded myself what Eld had just said. Levi _would_ wake up.

With that conviction in the forefront of my mind, I took a try with my rations and both cups of tea to the infirmary. There, I spoke with the nurses who led me to Levi's private room, perks of being an officer I guess.

When we reached his room, I still felt my heart drop even though I _knew_ what I'd be walking into. Levi had been bathed and changed from his uniform to a loose white v-neck shirt. His head was wrapped with bandages, and his face looked almost peaceful. The only indication he was even alive was the faint rise and fall of his chest that was barely visible.

Walking over to him, I gently placed the tray with the food and two cups of tea on the table beside the bed before taking a seat in the chair that had been placed beside the bed. All traces of hunger were long forgotten as I stared at the comatose raven-haired captain, silently begging him to wake up.

"Hello," a kind, deep voice greeted from behind me, startling me from my thoughts as I turned to see a doctor there, "Mr. Ackerman's condition is stable. It's now up to him if he wakes up or not. May I ask what your relationship with him is?" My cheeks felt hot when he said relationship but quickly brushed it off as me overreacting.

"H-he's the captain of my squad," I answered softly.

"And?" the doctor prompted, "I'm told you're the girl that saved him and that you faced down an abnormal by yourself to do so. You don't get that kind of bravery and selflessness just from someone being your superior." _The fuck is this guy? A therapist? What the hell does he know?_

"Fine. He's my friend," I admitted, starting to tear up. The doctor nodded, saying one last thing before leaving the room.

"It often helps patients in comas to wake up if you talk to them. No one's sure why or if they can hear us, but I thought you'd might like to know. Please call if you notice any concerning changes, though I and the nurses will be here to check on him periodically." And with that, Levi and I were alone.

Tears streamed down my face before I could even think to stop them. Grabbing Levi's right hand and holding it in both of mine, I decided to do what the doctor suggested and talked to him.

"Levi, please wake up," I begged, my voice barely audible, " I never wanted to trust or get close to anyone in this damned place, especially not a guy. But you forced your way close to me. You're rude, cold at times, bossy, a clean freak, a hard ass, and you interfered in my family affairs which severely pissed me off. But, more than that, you're the only damn person I completely trust and can be myself with. I don't even flinch when you get close anymore. Please don't let me go back to the way I was… Please, Levi… I can't go back to that… Please wake up… Levi…" And with that, exhaustion overcame me as I fell asleep, the food and teas all but forgotten.

Song: I Want You Here by Nightcore

Edited: 03/26/2020


	17. Ch 17: Waking Up

_I am the place you visit when  
everyone else is a shut door  
and blinking neon sign  
telling you to come back later._

_**Kat Savage**_

-Levi's POV-

The last thing I remember is being thrown from the neck of the abnormal titan and hitting the ground before everything faded to black.

_How much time has passed? My head hurts, so does my left arm and my abdomen. I feel like I got hit by a damned carriage. But why does my right hand feel heavy and...warm?_

Groaning quietly in pain, I opened my eyes and took in my surroundings without sitting up. The room was familiar in design. Somehow, someone must have found me, and we had made it back to HQ.

Slowly turning my head to the right despite the pain, I felt my eyes widen at a familiar head of dark copper hair leaned on my bed, fast asleep, her lips slightly parted and dried tear stains on her face. Her hands clutched my right hand, explaining the warmth and heaviness. _Emmryn_. She was paler and skinnier than she was on the expedition, and she had dark circles under her eyes that rivalled Hange's when she had stayed up 4 days straight due to her research.

My observations were cut off by a man in a white coat coming in. His face turned to one of surprise when he saw that my eyes were open. Then, his gaze went to Emmryn, and he smiled ruefully and shook his head with a sigh before turning back to me.

"Glad to see you're awake, Captain Ackerman. How are you feeling?" the man I now recognized to be one of the Scouts' doctors, asked, keeping his voice a bit low as to not wake Emmryn.

"Like shit. But I'll live," I responded, my voice slightly hoarse from disuse before asking a question in return, "How long was I out?"

The doctor chuckled at my blunt answer before replying, "8 days," my eyes widened in shock as the doctor motioned to Emmryn, "This young lady has been here almost constantly, refusing to sleep or leave your side. I'm just glad those sedatives I put in her tea finally kicked in. I tripled the dose to ensure they did." There was an unsettling smirk on his face as he all but leered at her. This triggered some kind of protective instinct in me, and I had to refrain from yelling at him.

"You drugged her?!" I all but growled as the man went to grab her shoulder. My hand immediately shot up from in between Emmryn's shocking her awake as I sat up quickly, despite the pain from my no doubt broken ribs, and backhanded the doctor. Emmryn's eyes, half-lidded, looked at me in surprise before giving me a weak, droopy smile.

"L-levi, you're awake," Emmryn slurred, her eyes cloudy as they widened in panic, "W-why do I feel so weird, L-levi?" the doctor was up at this point with a syringe in his hands and a deranged expression as he glared at me. Looking through the open door behind the doctor and caught sight of a familiar pair of shitty glasses and a head of auburn hair.

"Hange!" I yelled, grabbing her attention. Shitty glasses looked over in shock, glaring when she saw the syringe in the doctor's hand. Within seconds, she had tackled the doctor to the ground, stabbing the syringe in his hand to stab his own thigh before pressing the plunger, injecting him with what I could only assume was a sedative inside. The doctor yelled in pain, scaring Emmryn.

On instinct, I grabbed the back of her head and pulled her into my chest, blocking her view of the fight in front of us. The doctor was unconscious in minutes due to the sedative, and Emmryn's breath was labored against my chest. I looked up to see Hangr with a concerned expression.

"Oi, shitty glasses! Don't just stand there! Do you have an antidote to the sedatives that bastard gave her? He said he gave her triple the dose that was needed," I demanded, my voice remaining emotionless, despite the concern I had for the woman in my arms.

"Yeah. I'll go grab it, but she may panic when the sedative wears off so try and calm her down while I grab it alright?" Hange said, running off before I could argue, leaving me alone with Emmryn who was now trembling against my chest.

_Shit! I'm no good at comforting people. Shitty glasses should know that! _But… I looked down at the trembling figure in my arms and remembered the panic I felt when she went after that first titan on her own. I couldn't lose her. I remember that feeling clearly. So… I had to try and calm Emmryn down… For her sake…

"Emmryn," I said softly, getting her attention, as she looked up at me, fear evident in her clouded eyes, "I need you to trust me okay?"

"W-why? What's wrong w-with me?" she asked fearfully, her shaking getting worse, and she began to wince and whimper. I held back a growl. _That bastard is gonna pay for this. A triple dosage was way too much for a woman her size. She's been through enough already without having to fear medical personnel here._

"Emmryn, listen, that bastard doctor drugged you," I explained calmly as I saw panic erupt into her features. I reached out and cupped her cheek and pulled her to me until our foreheads were touching, and her breath hitched allowing me to continue, "It's all going to be okay. I woke up before he could do anything. Hange has knocked him out and is going to get you an antidote right now. But if you don't calm down before she gives you the antidote, you're gonna have a panic attack and you're going to feel even worse. Understand?"

I felt Emmryn take a few deep breaths, her breath fanning across my skin causing my own breath to hitch. _Dammit, Levi! Not no_w! My thoughts were interrupted by Emmryn. Her voice was small and scared yet calm and resolute.

"I understand," she said before pulling back and meeting my eyes as my hand fell from her cheek, a pleading look crossing her features, "L-Levi? Will you stay with me? Please?" Honestly, I would've stormed Wall Sina single-handedly if she asked with that look, but I couldn't admit that, so instead, I simply nodded. Relief flooded her features as she hugged me, and I held back a wince at the stabbing pain from my broken ribs.

"Ahem… I'm sorry to interrupt, but I thought I'd administer the antidote," Hange said, surprising both of us as she gave us a knowing and mischievous smile. Emmryn just buried her face in my chest and stuck out her right arm to Hange, causing my face to heat up.

"Oh Erwin's gonna _love _this!" Hange cackled as she quickly injected Emmryn with the antidote which apparently took effect pretty quickly as I felt her relax against me. Before she could fall, I wrapped my arm around her waist and moved her to where she was laying beside me on the bed, the only real option I had with only one working arm. This just caused Hange to laugh even louder as I angrily clicked my tongue.

"Okay so I totally ship you two, but good luck with Erwin," Hange joked as she went to lift Emmryn. As soon as she did, Emmryn whimpered and gripped onto my arm, not budging. Hange snickered at this as she went to leave the room.

"Shut up, Shitty glasses," I said, my voice low as I laid down beside the dark copper haired girl beside me, "And don't tell Erwin about… whatever the hell this. I need to talk to Emmryn first when she wakes up." Hange nodded and left, dragging the sedated doctor with her. Sighing to myself, I relaxed as Emmryn cuddled into me and for some reason, it made me feel even more calm as I drifted out of consciousness, despite the soon to be shit storm that will occur when word of this gets to Eyebrows.

Song: Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade

Edited: 03/26/2020


	18. Ch 18: We Need to Talk

_You don't have to  
call a fire  
by its name but  
that doesn't make  
it less of a fire.  
so call us  
whatever you want,  
baby.  
we're still going  
to burn._

_**Kat Savage**_

-Emmryn's POV-

_Ugghhhhh…. _I woke up with a pounding headache, but I felt oddly warm and comfortable. My pillow felt oddly firm, and I was hugging onto something or… someone… At that thought, everything that happened rushed back to me. L_evi… He saved me from that creepy doctor that drugged me despite being injured himself… And I… I clung to him like a lovesick teenager. Oh Walls… Maybe I should just pretend to still be asleep so I don't have to face him._

"Oi, brat, I know you're awake," Levi's bored voice pierced my thoughts, "Now are you going to let go of my one good arm or continue to make problems for me?" At that comment, my eyes shot open, and I glared at the raven-haired captain as I got up quickly from the bed.

"You know, _Captain_, that's a really funny way of saying 'Thanks for saving my life from an abnormal titan, Emmryn'," I retorted angrily, getting up to walk away from him, but I was stopped when his hand shot out and gripped my wrist tightly causing me to turn to face him, "What do you want, Captain? I'm leaving so I'm no longer making problems for you." He growled at my sarcasm, but little did he know, this was just my way of masking how hurt I was. I was so scared he wasn't gonna wake up after those injuries.

"Emmryn, we need to talk," Levi said, his voice less harsh than before, "We're going to my office. Now." His tone told me that his request was not up for discussion. I sighed as we both stood up and left the infirmary with no one daring to stop the irritable looking captain and his subordinate.

In just a couple of minutes, we made it to his office. As soon as we got there and got inside, he backed me up against his door, shutting it with his good arm and mostly blocking me from moving. One look at his eyes, and I could tell he was pissed and I had no idea why. However, I did know it made me want to hide in a corner and cry. Apparently, I can attack abnormal titans head on without a second thought, but an angry short captain, nope. Too scared to move.

"Why the hell did you face that abnormal titan without backup?" Levi demanded angrily, and I shrunk into myself in response, partially upset that he was mad about me saving him but more so scared. I had not seen Levi's anger directed at me like this in some time.

"Answer me, Cadet Smith!" he ordered, his voice rising to a shout. At this, the tears I had been holding back began to fall as I looked up at him, my eyes wide with fear.

"Because you were going to _die_!" I answered softly, my voice breaking at the word 'die', "I-I couldn't let you die without at least trying to save you. You're worth more than anyone in this army, especially me." His growl was audible before I heard him let out a sigh before clicking his tongue and dropping the arm that had me pinned to his door.

Immediately after, I felt his hand grip my chin and lift my face towards him before, much to my surprise, his lips slammed into mine. My eyes widened in shock as I stood there, frozen. _Levi was… kissing me?... What?..._ His lips were surprisingly soft, and I couldn't help myself as I shyly kissed back. The kiss lasted only seconds as Levi pulled away and looked me in the eyes, his hand still holding my chin, though much gentler than before.

"L-Levi?" my voice was soft and confused, "What are you doing?" Part of me was afraid. _He wouldn't just do this because I used to be a prostitute would he? Damn Oluo for putting these doubts in my head._

"Emmryn," Levi said in his usual bored tone causing my focus to shift back to him. His steel gray eyes shining with something I didn't quite recognize, "I don't want to say this more than once. So listen well." I gave a small nod as he continued.

"When I woke up and found out that you had risked your life AGAIN, and for me at that, I was pissed. I told you that I needed you to stay safe because you were my friend. I promised myself to keep it just that: friends. But when I found out that the bastard doctor had drugged you, the idea of him trying anything towards you made me lose all sense of reasoning. And when you clung to me after getting the antidote from Shitty Glasses, I realized that I needed you as more than what I promised myself," Levi explained, his voice low and heavy with emotion, though it wouldn't be obvious to most people. I put my finger to his lips to stop his rambling.

"Levi," I breathed, my voice calm and confident for once, "I've spent the last 6 years being terrified of men and wanting nothing to do with them. Previously, the idea of someone touching me at all would cause a panic attack, but when I saw you slung from that abnormal titan, my only thought was that I needed you to be okay. I care about you a lot, Levi, more than a friend should. You're the only man I can stand to have touch me in any way, and you make me feel safer than I have in years." He looked at me in silence before giving me a small smirk and pulling my head to his chest in a one armed hug.

"You're mine," he said simply. I giggled a bit at that as I nuzzled into his chest.

"That's a funny way to ask to court someone," I teased, causing him to click his tongue.

"Who said I was asking?" he retorted. At this, he pulled my head back gently, planting a chaste kiss on my lips; however, I was not satisfied with that and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him into another, deeper kiss. This time instead of being backed up to the door, Levi wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me further into his office, never once breaking the kiss as he gently lifted me up and sat me on his desk. After doing so, he pulled away, both of us breathing a little heavily.

"Do not tempt me, Emmryn," Levi warned, his eyes starting to fill with lust. I opened my mouth to respond, but we were interrupted by a knock on Levi's door earning a very low growl from Levi as he quickly moved away from me and I got off of his desk before he called out, "Name and business."

At his response, the door had burst open to reveal the rest of Squad Levi, with Petra and Oluo at the front of the group. Petra had tears in her eyes as she ran up to Levi and gave him a heartfelt salute. Oluo, Eld, and Gunther followed suit, minus the tears.

"Captain! You're awake! We're so glad you're okay!" Petra cried happily.

"How are your injuries, Captain? Will you be returning to us soon?" Eld asked, concern showing in his expression though not quite overbearing like Petra.

"I'm fine, guys. Just a broken arm and a couple of broken ribs. I'll be back to full strength in a month and a half," Levi answered in his usual bored tone, but his eyes glinted, a small amount of evidence of his appreciation for his squad's concern, "What have I missed?"

"Cadet Smith skipping out on all of her duties since you were in your coma," Oluo said snidely. _Dear Walls, this guy is an actual idiot. _Levi looked to me and raised an eyebrow ever so slightly, and I shrugged.

"I see. Then, Cadet Smith will be helping you with your two months of stable duty," Levi responded earning a grin from Oluo and a shocked and irritated look from me as I fell into rank with the others with a salute, not wanting anyone to see my expression as I gave him a 'What the hell was that for?' look. Levi had a glint of amusement in his eyes before continuing, "In addition, for not following orders twice in the expedition, Cadet Smith, you will be continuing to clean my office for the next two months as well." Now that I was not arguing with.

"But Captain, Emmryn saved your life! It's not fair that she should have to have two punishments. She spent your entire in the coma tending to your wounds. Her duties were barely an issue to deal with," Petra defended me at the mention of a second punishment. I smiled a bit.

"Yeah, Captain. Besides, I don't think it would be wise to force Emmryn to work alone with Oluo considering the shit he's pulled in the past, including while you were in your coma," Eld added, and I silently thanked the walls for these two angels in this squad.

"Enough. Cadet Smith can handle herself. Eld, I expect a full report on everything I missed during my absence at breakfast tomorrow. Everyone is dismissed for the night," Levi ordered, clearly already tired of all the drama, before turning to me, "Except you, Cadet Smith, your punishment of cleaning my office starts tonight." I simply nodded as everyone else left.

"Smart move not locking the door earlier, Captain," I teased him after he shut the door, being sure to lock it this time, "I'd almost think you wanted us to get caught." Levi simply walked up to me and raised an eyebrow, his eyes revealing nothing for once as he walked up to me, leaning down and putting his mouth next to my ear.

"And what if I did?" he challenged, his hot breath causing me to shudder slightly. _Walls, he was attractive._ Just as quickly as he was next to me though, he was back at his desk, looking at the mountain of paperwork there and clicking his tongue in annoyance.

"Want some help?" I offered walking over to him as he sat in his chair.

"You act like you have a choice in the matter. Go make us some tea and then get back here and help me get through all this shit," Levi ordered, not looking up from the paper he was currently working on. I rolled my eyes slightly at him.

"You know, Levi, I'm not exactly sure how this relationship thing is supposed to work, but I really don't think you're doing it right," I retorted in a teasing manner as I walked towards his door to go make the tea, turning back to see him looking at me with a hard stare.

"If you want romance and red roses, you're with the wrong person," he stated bluntly, "I'm not gonna try and do pointless shit to show feelings you already know I have." I sighed dramatically before smiling slightly at him.

"I know. I wouldn't expect any less, Levi," I responded with a small smile, "Besides, I don't need you for red roses. I can grow my own." And with that, I walked out to make our tea, a slight spring in my step and a lightness in my heart.

Song: Girls Like You by Maroon 5 ft. Cardi B

Edited: 03/26/2020


	19. Ch 19: Haven't You People Ever Heard Of

**A/N → Slight NSFW warning. Not complete smut but definitely rated 16+**

_Life is  
simply a mix of  
mayhem & magnolias,  
so embrace this gentle riot  
and gather flowers  
along the way._

_**Kat Savage**_

-Emmryn's POV-

"Name and business," Levi's familiar baritone voice called from his office. It's been about two months since Levi and I had confessed to one another, and things had definitely changed, but not as much as you'd think. His arm and ribs had finally healed which was a relief. He'd be returning to training with our squad the day after tomorrow, which is when his forced medical rest was ending.

"Emmryn Smith. Here to clean your office," I responded, loud enough for him to hear me. I heard his typical 'come in' and opened the door to see him at his desk, his hand in his raven hair as he looked at a piece of paperwork, looking absolutely stressed and miserable. I quickly came in and shut the door behind me. This was our routine. We hadn't done anything more than share a couple of kisses here and there, but Levi really didn't want anyone finding out about us, and I was more worried about Erwin finding out. Luckily, no one ever dared enter Levi's office without knocking her first.

Noticing his tense posture, I walked over behind me and started massaging his shoulders, earning a very quiet groan from him almost causing me to pause. _That was an attractive sound._ But I didn't want to point it out and annoy him so I just continued my self-assigned task, working out the knots in my tense boyfriend's shoulders and upper back. It made me really happy to feel him slowly relax under my hands. After about ten minutes, he stood up and turned towards me.

To my surprise, Levi wrapped both arms around my waist, pulling me close to him and resting his forehead on my shoulder allowing me to feel his breath hot and slightly ragged. In response, I wrapped my arms around him.

"Levi?" I said in a concerned voice, "Are you okay?"

"Emmryn," he responded, his voice low and husky as I realized what the problem was, "You do not make this easy."

"Make what easy?" I asked innocently, making sure my suspicions were correct.

"I've tried to keep my hands off of you out of respect and your comfort, but you do not make it easy to control myself," he admitted. At this, I turned my head to whisper sexily in his ear.

"Who said I want you to control yourself, Levi?"

And with that, I was lifted onto Levi's now mostly clear desk and his lips fervently found mine. I responded eagerly, moving my lips in sync with his. Levi's hands began to wander, before resting on my hips and pulling me to the edge of the desk and flush against his body. He began to grind against me, allowing me to feel his rather large erection through his black dress pants. I moaned involuntarily in response, and Levi took full opportunity of this, shoving his tongue into my mouth and dominating me there, exploring every inch of my mouth.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, tugging at his hair as our tongues danced, and I grinded my hips against his erection, earning a low moan from my usually stoic captain. After several minutes of this, we both separated slightly to breathe. Both of us were panting pretty heavily at this point as our eyes met. His steel gray eyes were full of lust and admiration, and I had to restrain myself from begging him to take me right there on his desk.

"Emmryn," he said my name, his voice thick with lust but also sounded a bit strained, "As much as I want this, here is not a good place for it." _Let's see how strong his resolve is about this. _I untangled one of my hands from his hair and moved it over his erection, stroking it through the black cloth.

"Are you sure about that, Levi?" I asked, purring his name sexually as I stroked a bit more firmly earning another moan from him before he caught himself and glared at me, grabbing my hand and moving it to his chest.

"Emmryn, stop it," he ordered in his usual authoritative tone, "I'm not having our first time be on my desk. It'd make too big of a mess."

"So that's the only issue you have with this, Levi?" An unexpected voice demanded, sounding pissed. _Shit. That can't be_. I got off the desk and was fixing to jump away from Levi but he kept one arm wrapped firmly around my waist as I looked up to see none other than… _Erwin… Shit…_

"Do you need something, Eyebrows?" Levi asked, his bored tone returning and his face as stoic as ever. Meanwhile, I'm pretty sure I was becoming a tomato.

"Well, I did need some paperwork, but now I think I more so need an explanation of what the hell you were doing with my baby sister," Erwin responded, glaring at Levi, his blue eyes blazing with anger, "And in your office with the door unlocked no less. Do you have any respect for her at all? Disregarding the obvious issues by being with one of your subordinates, the age gap between you two is also completely inappropriate."

I rolled my eyes at the last comment. I was 23, and Levi had told me he wasn't 100% sure of his exact age given the circumstances of his birth. But he had said he was about 34 or so. Either way, his age wasn't a big deal to me especially not after what I had gone through in the Underground. You think Friar had an age gap rule? That would be a hell no!

"No one enters my office without knocking, Eyebrows. Plus what I do in my office is none of your damn business as long as my work gets done on time," Levi stated simply with an eyebrow raised, "Also, I do believe Emmryn is an adult and can make her own decisions. I've done nothing wrong here." With that last statement, I thought my brother might actually combust, so I stepped in taking a deep breath and walking up to my older brother and looking at him.

"Erwin," I said calmly despite my irritation with Erwin's accusations, getting his attention as he looked down to meet my eyes, his filled with concern and a now-muted anger, "Levi didn't force me to do anything. We've been together for a couple of months now, and he's never tried to do more than kiss me before today. I started it, and I don't regret it. He may act like an emotionless bastard-" that earned a tch from Levi "- but he's been nothing but a gentleman and respectful of my boundaries. Please don't be mad at him." Erwin looked at me, clearly torn before sighing, trying to calm himself down.

"Is all of this true, Levi?" Erwin asked, his stern gaze turning towards the raven-haired captain.

"Not that I think it's any of your business, but yeah it is. I would protect that brat sister of yours with my life if I needed to," Levi responded plainly, his eyes trained solely on me, making me feel like my heart would beat out of my chest. He was not the type to say things like that out loud, and the fact that he had kept his eyes on me as he said told me that while he may not care what Erwin thinks, he knows that I do and was willing to help a little bit with that.

"I see…" Erwin said, his voice trailing in thought as I walked back over to stand next to my partner. He looked up at us and spoke again, his voice seeming a little guilty at the moment as he focused on me. _Uh oh._ I did not like that look, "Well, I had actually come to let you both know that Emmryn would be returning to the Cadet Corps effective the day after tomorrow-"

"Like hell I will!" I yelled angrily, "Do you not remember what happened the last time I went there?" Levi wrapped an arm comfortingly around my waist, but from the tension in his muscles, I could tell he was about as happy about this as I was.

"This is not up for debate, Em. You never finished your training and graduated. You have to go back and finish your training like everyone else," Erwin reasoned, his voice firm.

"I didn't have to attend the training corps," Levi pointed out, his voice a bit icy. Erwin gave him a stern look.

"You were a special case, Levi, and you know that. Your fighting skills were exceptional before you ever got here, and your instincts and quick thinking are second to none," Erwin fired back before turning his focus to me, "Emmryn, I have already made my decision on this. You're leaving in two days to return to the training corps. You've already missed some of the basic training where they weed out those who are obviously useless, but you will be there for the next two years. During your breaks you will be allowed to return to our home-"

SLAPPPPP!

That is correct. I just slapped the leader of the Survey Corps across the face.

"I think you may have brain damage Erwin. You would send me away after I was already kidnapped and human trafficked for six years by people who are probably still fucking looking for me? You act all protective about Levi and I and complain about the fucking 11 year age gap, but you would make me vulnerable to the bastards that actually tortured me and sold me to men more than twice my age. What the hell, Erwin?!" I seethed, my voice a deadly steady tone despite the anger radiating from me; however, of course, my dearest older brother did not seem the least bit phased.

"Ahem… I was going to say, before you assaulted a commanding officer, Cadet Trainee Emmryn Smith, that you would be allowed to return to our home, and I would be willing to grant Captain Levi temporarily leave during that time to ensure your safety, OR you could return here to the Survey Corps headquarters and continue your time as a Scout," Erwin stated, causing me to calm down slightly, but the idea of going back to that house terrified me and I found myself shaking, "Additionally, Captain Levi would be coming to the training camp once every two weeks to check on your progress as well as scout for any potential new recruits that we may be interested in. I'll take my leave now. But, Levi, if I find out you hurt or take advantage of my sister, I will make your life hell."

With that, Erwin left, and I was still frozen in place trembling at the thought of our old house. Levi came up and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to his chest.

"Em," Levi said softly in my ear, using my nickname to get my attention as I tried to stop trembling, "Em, look at me." I looked up to see my usually apathetic captain with a very serious look on his face, "I won't let them find you again. Just let me know when I come to check on you what you want to do for your breaks, and that's what we will do, within reason. Eyebrows is still letting me come do the check ups on you, so I will still be able to see you. You can do this. It's just training, and it may just save your life." I nodded smally, trying not to get more upset.

"Levi…" I said softly, "Can I stay with you tonight? I'm afraid to be alone." He pulled me close to him and rested his chin on my head.

"It's amusing how you think you're leaving my sight at all for the next two days." Levi's response filled my heart and helped me calm down about the shit storm that seemed to be approaching.

Song: I Write Sins Not Tragedies by Panic! At The Disco

Edited: 03/26/2020


	20. Ch 20: The Last Night

**WARNING: This chapter contains SMUT and is NSFW. If you want to skip this chapter, you most certainly can. However, I will separate the smut from the actual information in the chapter with a line of ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ both at the beginning and end. Don't likey don't readey. K thanks. Also, please understand this is my first time writing something like this, so be kind please. **

_Love is made  
from the fire  
in your belly  
and the blood  
on your knuckles._

_**Kat Savage**_

-Emmryn's POV-

Tonight was my last night before heading to the Cadet Corps, and Levi has stayed true to his word. I've only left his side when one of us had to use the restroom, that is until now. Erwin called a meeting for the officers which Levi was not too happy about, so at the moment, I was killing time in Levi's room. He said he was taking tonight off from paperwork since Erwin called this meeting and since it was my last day of being here for pretty much two years. As I laid on Levi's large bed stressing about everything that was fixing to happen with me leaving, my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening. I sat up quickly to see Levi, but he had an expression that I couldn't quite read.

Within seconds of getting through the door, Levi had closed the door, making sure to lock it, and was on top of me, his lips capturing mine in a passionate kiss that made my knees weak. After a minute or so, we separated and I looked at him questioningly.

"Levi? What's gotten into you?" I asked panting slightly. He pressed a kiss on my forehead.

"Tonight is your last night here," he stated, his steel gray eyes full of dissatisfaction at the thought along with a burning desire I recognized from the other night. Without giving me a chance to really respond, his lips captured mine once again, aggressively nipping at my lower lip. I happily gave into his demands as I parted my lips slightly, allowing Levi to force his tongue into my mouth, exploring every inch of the moist cavern.

After a couple of minutes of this, he moved his lips from mine to my neck, covering my neck with feathery kisses before he came to a spot at the base of my neck and shoulder causing me to let out an involuntary moan. I slapped my hand over my mouth, my cheeks red with embarrassment as Levi proceeded to attack that spot, kissing and sucking on it before finally biting it, being sure to mark me as his.

"L-levi…" I moaned feeling myself grow wet as desire burned in my stomach, "D-don't tease me…" Levi immediately stopped, pushing himself up to where he was on his hands and knees over me, his raven hair hanging slightly as he gave me a very serious look.

"Emmryn, are you sure you're ready for this? If we keep going past this point, I can't promise you that I will be able to stop myself," Levi informed me, his tone dead serious, his eyes flaming with desire as he struggled to control himself. I felt tears well up in my eyes. No one had ever asked for my consent before, and Levi had done everything to make sure I was okay with this. My answer was very clear to me.

"Yes, Levi. I'm completely yours. All of me," I answered confidently, and with that, Levi's lips were back on mine with a new fervor that was not there before. As we continued to passionately kiss, Levi and I both began to unbutton each others' shirts. He got mine off in no time, and his was gone shortly thereafter.

We both separated as I shyly removed my bra, taking in the magnificent view in front of me. Levi was panting slightly, his bare chest rising and falling with each breath, and I had to avoid audibly whistling at his toned chest and abs. He literally had a 6 pack and hid more muscle than you'd think under that uniform. My cheeks burned as I noticed him also giving me a pretty thorough once over as he went to remove his uniform pants. In one swift motion, he removed them along with his boxers and within seconds, I found myself with Levi's quite large, pulsing erection in my face.

Sensing what he wanted, I took his length into my mouth, swirling my tongue around the tip before taking his whole length into my mouth all the way to the base, hallowing my cheeks as I began to bobbing my head up and down, trying not to gag at him going partially down my throat. He grabbed my hair as he let out a low moan as I began to lick and sick his engorged member for several minutes until suddenly, he roughly yanked my hair, causing me to stop. As he moved himself down to where we were once again face to face.

"Your mouth is fantastic, but I'm not finishing until I make you completely mine," Levi stated huskily as I felt him remove my pants and panties in one swift motion causing me to hiss as my heated core was met with the cold air.

With no warning, Levi inserted a finger into my wet entrance, pumping quickly causing me to moan as he attacked my left nipple with his mouth twirling his tongue around it before gently biting it. _Walls… There's no way this man has not done this before. _Again, giving me no heads up, I whimpered slightly as he added a second finger pumping a couple of times before removing them and meeting my eyes.

"Emmryn," Levi breathed my name huskily, "I'm serious. This is your last chance if you're not comfortable. I don't want you to feel pressured because of your past. We can stop." My heart nearly burst at this. Even though he had told me earlier he wouldn't stop, he still was this concerned about my comfort.

"Levi," I breathed back meeting his eyes with my clear blue ones, "I want you to make me yours. Don't hold back. I want you to take me to the point where I'll never remember the bastards I've dealt with in the past."

"Perfect," Levi growled as he lined himself up to my weeping heat and slowly pushed himself into me causing me to whimper slightly. Now, obviously, I was not a virgin in any sense of the word, but Levi was long and fucking THICK, plus after not doing anything in over 8 months, I had tightened back up pretty well. Levi, being the gentleman he is, continued to slowly push himself into me until he was all the way in, kissing away the couple of tears that had escaped my eyes at the pain from his size. He started to move slowly at first, before that pain quickly began to turn into pure white hot pleasure.

"F-faster, please Levi," I begged, my voice a desperate moan as I rocked my hips against his. At this, Levi slammed into me, HARD, causing me to practically scream his name as I saw stars. He continued to thrust into me at a ridiculously fast pace causing me to wrap my legs around his waist and dig my nails into his back as I attempted to stop myself from making too much noise. Key word: attempted.

Soon, I felt a tension build in my stomach that became more and more intense as I felt like I was about to burst. Levi seemed to feel similar as his thrusts became more erratic.

"LEVI!" I moaned loudly as I found my release. Levi gave a few more thrusts before moaning my name as well as he quickly pulled out of me, releasing his seed all over my stomach before collapsing on top of me, both of us panting.

After a couple of minutes, we both managed to catch our breath, and Levi got up and, without warning, picked me up and took me to his bathroom before setting me on my feet beside the tub. I raised an eyebrow at this.

"We're both covered in cum. I am not sleeping like that. It's fucking disgusting," Levi stated, his usual bored tone back as he turned on the water and went back to his room. I hear the rustling of cloth, which I can only assume to be Levi's OCD ass changing his bed sheets, and when he returned, he placed two sets of clothes on the bench beside the now full tub.

I winced as I lifted my leg up and into the tub. _He really did not hold back, did he?_ After settling into the hot water and dunking my head, I heard a soft splash as Levi entered the bath behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me to him. I sighed in content as I leaned back into his chest.

"I wish I didn't have to leave tomorrow," I murmured sadly, as I felt Levi's arms tighten around my waist, "If I remember correctly, the Cadet Corps is full of sex starved guys with either hero complexes or pussies who are hell bent on living a life of luxury in the interior." I felt a growl rumble in Levi's chest as he turned me to where I was sitting sideways across his lap.

"If any of them so much as looks at you inappropriately, kick their asses. That's an order," Levi growled. I giggled at this.

"Oh wow. Is humanity's strongest soldier _jealous_?" I teased, kissing his jaw. In response, he pulled me into a chaste kiss before responding.

"I just don't want to have to kill any cadets in training. That'd be too much paperwork," he muttered before turning his steel gray eyes to meet mine, "Besides, you're mine, and I do _not_ share." I found myself giggling again before relaxing into him as I closed my eyes and enjoyed the last time I would have in a while in my lover's arms.

Song: Hallelujah by Pentatonix

**A/N → So I feel like I have to go cleanse my soul for writing this… Jk… But for real sorry if it's super cringy or something. Next chapter will start following more of the lines of the anime.**

Edited: 03/26/2020


	21. Ch 21: Back to Training

_never apologize  
for burning  
too brightly  
or for collapsing  
into yourself  
every night _

_that is how _

_galaxies are made_

_**Tyler Kent White**_

-Emmryn's POV-

I sighed as I took a bite out of my bread ration in the mess hall for lunch. Levi and Erwin had just left after dropping me off at the Cadet Corps. I had been sent to the administrative office where I was stripped of my Survey Corps jacket and cloak and given the Cadet Corps one instead. It took all of my will power to smile and thank the confused soldier that was given that task. It wasn't her fault that this situation was fucked up.

After lunch, I was supposed to join the formation after being introduced by Shadis, which I really didn't feel like dealing with. Since leaving the Scouts HQ, I had decided to leave the right side of my bangs down to cover the right side of my face because frankly, I really didn't feel like dealing with any more questions than what I'm already going to be bombarded with.

When I left the mess hall, I was greeted with the other trainees getting into formation. I noticed a familiar bald head with sunken eyes and strode up to him with confidence before giving a strong salute.

"Cadet Emmryn Smith, reporting for training, Commander Shadis," I said with a strong, but measured voice, effectively getting Shadis's attention. He turned to look at me with a shocked look before giving me a rare but small smile.

"At ease, Cadet," he said as I relaxed and he continued with a small, almost unnoticeable smile, "Welcome back, Emmryn. I heard you were in hell." I shrugged in response.

"Aren't we all, sir?" I responded nonchalantly before looking at him with seriousness showing in my one visible blue eye, "Sir, can I ask you a small favor?" Shadis raised an eyebrow at this before nodding.

"I don't want everyone to find out that I'm Erwin's younger sister. Can you just introduce me as Emmryn?" I asked calmly, "I'm already going to cause enough of a disturbance, and I'd rather have at least some chance to somewhat blend in." Shadis chuckled at this before ignoring my request and turning to the other cadets and calling us all to attention.

"Alright, you useless maggots, starting today there will be another slightly less useless maggot added to your ranks," Shadis yelled causing all attention to turn to me. In response, my expression stayed emotionless, and my salute stayed strong as Shadis continued, "This is Cadet Emmryn Smith! She has already trained with the Survey Corps and has returned to complete her training with the rest of you maggots! Now, Cadet Smith, get your ass in formation now! You're between Ackerman and Arlert!" _Ackerman?... Is she somehow related to Levi?... Dammit, Emmryn, do not think about him right now._

Suppressing the growl that was rising in my throat, I quickly ran to the only empty place in the formation before Shadis dismissed us to start ODM gear training. I was put in a group with a horse faced looking guy with an undercut, the girl with black hair and dark eyes that I had been placed by in the formation, a guy with black hair and freckles, and a guy with brown hair and vibrant green eyes. The guy with green eyes ran up to me, his eyes shining with excitement.

"Is it true? Have you really trained with the Scouts? Have you met the commander? Captain Levi? Have you killed a titan?" the boy interrogated with enthusiasm and bright eyes. I backed away slightly at his loud voice and close proximity. _What is this guy's issue? Does he have brain damage?_

"Eren! Back off a bit! You don't know if she's dangerous!" the black haired girl warned the boy.

"Oh shut up, Mikasa! You know I want to join the Scouts! She's the best chance I have at finding out information about them!" the boy I now knew was Eren yelled back, obviously irritated. The horse-faced guy snickered.

"Only because you have a death wish. Only brain damaged and suicidal people join the Scouts. Have you heard how many people die on expeditions each time? I heard the current commander basically just leads the Scouts like lambs to the slaught-," he started before I swiftly punched him in the face, knocking him to the ground a meter away.

"Listen here, you pussy ass horse faced piece of shit, if you dare to insult my older brother or the work of the Scouts again, a black eye and training with Shadis will be the least of your worries," I growled angrily, "You're probably some chicken shit determined to live a life of safety in the interior as an MP." The group looked at me in shock as the guy with the freckles helped up the horse-face.

"Look, I get that you didn't like what he had to say, but you really didn't need to punch Jean that hard. We're comrades," Freckles chastised me, and I smiled slightly at him. So the horse-face was Jean. It was good that he at least had a friend with some manners that could look after him.

"Alright, Freckles. You make a good point; however, teach horse-face there not to talk shit about those who risk their lives in hopes of making everyone else's better and he'll be much safer from me," I said with a deceptively kind smile on my face, "Now what is your name?"

"I-I'm Marco Bodt! It's nice to meet you! By the way, who is your older brother?" he responded with curiosity evident in his voice. I smirked at this as the group looked at me in anticipation.

"Didn't the last name give it away?" I asked tauntingly before sighing and smiling as I tied my bangs back revealing the right side of my face earning gasps and horrified expressions from my whole group, "Allow me to formally introduce myself. My name is Emmryn Smith. Younger sister of the current commander of the Survey Corps, Erwin Smith." Eren looked at me in awe at this as Mikasa's eyes narrowed in apprehension. Jean looked nervous as he wiped the blood from his nose caused by the punch from earlier. I smirked again as I quickly put on my ODM gear and shot into the trees.

"What are you guys staring at? It's just a scar! Let's have a little competition! If you guys can't beat the half-blind girl, you should probably just go home now!" I taunted as I heard their ODM gears deploy. _This may be pretty fun after all._ For once, it felt like the cards were in MY hands.

Within a couple of hours, it was time for dinner. Everyone seemed to be out of breath except me. I just shook my head in disappointment. This was nothing after training with Squad Levi. Despite announcing that I was the younger sister of the commander, I really did not want it getting out that I was a member of the special operations squad. That would just put a target on my back. However, that wasn't a concern considering it would appear that the Eren kid had announced what I told him to EVERYONE. This was very obvious when I walked into the mess hall to a room full of stares, ranging from awe, to fear, to curiosity. I sighed to myself. _This was going to be a long ass two years._

Song: I'll Make a Man Out of You by Mulan (Don't judge me. The song was stuck in my head while I was writing this.)

Edited: 03/26/2020


	22. Ch 22: Time for a Check-In

_At least tell me you miss me _

_so I can still this silent panic attack _

_warring under my skin _

_as I sink into the center of this empty bed _

_and try to mold you from my pillows._

_But I never get your face right  
or feel your heartbeat beneath the pillowcase._

_If you were here,_

_I'd kiss each of your fingertips, _

_fold myself into your ribs, _

_and ask you to leave _

_your smile behind _

_if you must go again._

_**Kat Savage**_

-Emmryn's POV-

Two weeks had passed, and I had managed to actually make some friends I guess. I mean Eren Jaeger hung around me because he had a hard on for killing titans, more or less, and was obsessed with joining the Scouts. He was eccentric but honestly a bit of a breath of fresh air. Mikasa and I had learned to somewhat get along though I'm almost certain she was just cordial with me because Eren seemed to like me so much. Armin Arlert, a blonde coconut shaped haired boy, and I had become pretty good friends as well seeing as he was always around Mikasa and Eren. Plus, I appreciated his obvious intelligence. Also, I felt like I could relate to them more than I could the others. After all, they were from Shiganshina which means they too had come face to face with titans and survived somehow.

There were some others from the 104th that had caught my attention, for different reasons both good and bad. There was Jean Kirschtein, the horse faced asshole from my first day. His attitude was absolute crap, but at the same time, I think he was a lot more transparent in his feelings and embracing of his own human nature than many of the rest of us. That made him more relatable to others, but in my opinion, he only had that luxury because he had not faced legitimate hardship yet. Anyways, then there was Marco Bodt, the freckle faced boy I had also met on the first day. He was an idealistic little sap but pure hearted and a bright light of positivity in the midst of the hell that was training.

Within the group of the guys that I had noticed, there was also a pair that hung around the Shiganshina trio that struck me as a bit odd. Bertholdt Hoover, a tall black haired guy with a mousy personality, and Reiner Braun, a blonde haired brutish guy with a personality that seemed to invoke admiration in much of the other male cadets, hung close to each other since apparently they were from the same village in Wall Maria, along with a blonde girl named Annie Leonhart who seemed to want nothing to do with either of them. They didn't bother me too much, but Reiner tended to get pretty nosey about our findings on expeditions, to which I simply shrugged off each time.

There was also a cue ball headed short guy named Connie Springer that hung around as well a group of girls in our class named Christa Lenz, a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes that looked like she almost could have been related to Armin, Ymir Fritz, a brown haired tan skinned girl who was obsessed with Christa, and Sasha Braus, aka potato girl. Yeah, so apparently Sasha had had the balls (or lack of brains) to bring a steamed potato to their first formation, eat it during formation, and then offered half to Shadis when he confronted her about it.

So yeah. Apparently this group of recruits was a little out there, but these were the only ones I could even remotely see being eventually crazy enough to join the Scouts. Well except for Jean and Marco. I only noticed them because of their out there personalities. Also, Jean had one other thing that made him stand out for all the wrong reasons.

"Hey, Emmryn! Wanna come eat dinner with us instead of that titan-obsessed suicidal bastard?" Jean called out after I had grabbed my rations and was walking towards the tables in the dining hall. I shook my head at his obvious attempts at bringing down Eren and his enthusiasm. Those two got in fights often, and I opened my mouth to reject when I noticed Marco also waving me over with a polite and bright smile, before he scolded Jean on talking badly about one of our comrades. I smiled at Marco as I sat down across from them.

"Emmryn, how long were you in the Scouts before they brought you back here for training? And why did they bring you back? You're obviously so far ahead of the rest of us," Marco inquired, eyes full of curiosity.

I sighed somewhat sadly. I missed being in the Survey Corps HQ. I missed my older brother, even if he was a bit of an idiot when it came to emotional stuff. I missed Hange despite her obviously titan-obsessed and loud tendencies. I missed my squad, even Oluo's stupid attempts at getting me in trouble, but more than that, I really missed Levi. We had slept together for the first time the night before I left to go to training, but we hadn't really talked about love or anything yet, just that we were each other's. I hadn't brought it up because I didn't want to press the issue, and I didn't know for sure if it meant the same thing to him. Plus, he was due to come for a check-in soon I think. _When would he come?_ I was beyond ready to see him regardless of the slight confusion I felt. Marco cleared his throat slightly, knocking me back to reality.

"Sorry. I was lost in thought," I admitted before answering his question, "Well, honestly, I don't even know why I got sent here. I've already been on an expedition and killed a handful of titans myself. Though I've only ever completed the first year of training for the Cadet Corps. My training got interrupted by circumstances I'd really rather not get into at the moment. So anyways, I was really surprised when Erwin told me I'd be coming here to finish up the last two years of training with you guys." Marco and Jean looked at me in understanding of my confusion.

"Well obviously it's fate so that'd I'd have a chance to ask you on a date," Jean suggested as he smirked and winked at me. I rolled my eyes at him.

"You do realize I'm like 7 years older than you guys right?" I pointed out raising an eyebrow, causing Jean and Marco's jaws to drop.

"YOU'RE 23?!" Jean yelled loudly causing everyone to stop eating and stare at us. I face palmed.

"Well since everyone at this damn camp wants to announce any bit of personal information they hear about me, allow me to confirm. Yes. I am 23, which I'm aware is about 7 years older than most of you," I announced irritatedly as I stood up, having finished my rations, and walking out the dining hall before anyone could stop me. _Walls, these brats are driving me nuts. Shit. I'm starting to sound like Levi._

"So I see you've developed an even worse temper since being here," a bored baritone voice stated from behind me, causing me to jump in surprise as I turned around to see the person I had missed the most.

Levi was there, in uniform, with his ODM gear, giving me a small smirk as he walked towards the forest at the end of the training grounds. Understanding his intention, I followed him silently until we made it to the trees. Once we were there, he turned to say something but was interrupted by me throwing myself into his arms and crashing my lips against his. He froze for a moment in surprise before snaking his arms around my waist and returning my kiss gently before pulling away.

"That was not why I had you come over here," Levi pointed out bluntly. I shrugged.

"Maybe not, but I also don't hear you complaining or threatening me with cleaning so clearly it's fine," I countered, causing him to smirk ever so slightly.

"Looks like Erwin may have actually made the right call sending you back here," he commented, and I glared at him in shock.

"What the hell? Are you that happy to not have me at the base?" I asked, frustrated by his comment. He shook his head and clicked his tongue.

"Quit acting like an insecure, lovesick teenage brat. It was a compliment," Levi responded, frustration lacing his own voice, "I was commenting because you seem much more confident, but I see now that I was mistaken." My glare intensified.

"I have grown more confident in my abilities; however, this whole relationship thing is new for me. I've been used and discarded by men my entire life, so excuse me for being a bit insecure, especially since I don't even know if you love me. Not all of us can be full of confidence all the time, Captain Humanity's Strongest Soldier," I sneered, using anger to try and hide how hurt I was feeling. Nothing in my life had any sort of stability, especially not my brain. I didn't know how to handle all this. To my surprise, instead of getting yelled at, Levi lifted a hand to the back of my head pressing me into his chest and holding me firmly there.

"Who said I don't love you?" Levi asked, his voice low and serious, "You think I would do what we did if I didn't? What kind of man do you take me for?" I shuttered slightly at the thick emotions coming out of his usually monotone voice.

"I-I… I just…" I stuttered, not being able to voice my insecurities at the moment. I felt the hand that had been pressing my head to his chest move to under my chin, lifting my gaze up to meet his. His normally bored expression, now serious, his eyes full of emotion.

"Emmryn, I won't say this often, and I didn't feel like I needed to say it after everything we've been through the last several months. However, it's clear that you need to hear this. So pay attention," Levi said, his baritone voice thick with emotion as I nodded my head in understanding, staring into his stormy steel gray eyes, "I love you, Emmryn Smith, now and forever." With that, he pulled me into a loving kiss, sweet and gentle as his lips moved slowly against mine making my knees go weak before pulling away leaving me red faced and heart racing.

"Levi…" I said, my voice slightly quiet from the daze his kiss had me in, "I love you too, now and forever."

Song: p.s i love you by gnash

Edited: 03/26/2020


	23. Ch 23: Almost There

_that's the beauty of _

_the human condition. _

_you're never alone._

_and,_

_you're always alone._

_**Kat Savage**_

-EMMRYN'S POV-

After two years of redundant training, it was finally over. Now, I just had to finish wall duty in Trost with the other trainees, and I could return back to my rightful place in the Scouts and consequently to the side of my lover. Speaking of the Scouts, they were currently making their way through the city towards the gate.

Now obviously, I had every intention of seeing them off, but Eren, as usual, wasn't using his brain and was dragging me by the hand to the front of the crowd to see their procession through town. Levi and I made eye contact, and I noticed his eyes narrow at Eren holding my hand. To avoid a scene, and potentially some blood loss on Eren's part, I wrenched my hand from the brunette's and approached my raven-haired lover who was on his usual black horse.

There was a bad feeling in my gut about torday, and I wasn't sure if it was about the expedition or not, but I mean what else could it be from? Either way, I needed to talk to Levi, Hange, and Erwin before they left, so I began walking beside Levi as the procession continued.

"Who the hell is that brat?" Levi asked, his usual bored tone just barely masking his irritation. I snickered at this and looked up at him before answering.

"His name is Eren Jaeger. He's the one I told you about. You know, the one from Shiganshina that has a hard on for killing titans?" I answered with a laugh before becoming more somber and keeping my voice low enough that others wouldn't be able to hear me, "Levi, I have a bad feeling about today. Please be careful on the expedition." At this, Levi looked down at me, raising an eyebrow before noting my serious expression and nodding slightly.

"Okay. I will. You gonna warn Eyebrows and Four Eyes as well?" he inquired, his bored tone returning. I nodded before taking a deep breath.

"Be safe, Levi. I love you," I whispered, just loud enough for him to hear me. I figured he wouldn't respond, which was fine, but to my surprise, he placed his hand on my head comfortingly causing me to look up at him.

"Now and forever," the stoic captain said lowly, his stormy gray eyes boring into mine for a second before roughly ruffling my hair and ordering in his normal bored tone, "Now, go and talk to Eyebrows and Four Eyes, Cadet Emmryn." At this, I couldn't help but smirk as I gave him a rather sassy salute.

"Yes, Mr. Lance Corporal Levi," I responded, teasingly saying the title he had just received after a recent promotion.

Before the irritable corporal could yell at me or threaten me with cleaning duties, I ran forward in the formation to locate everyone's favorite psycho titan enthusiast. A smile graced my features when I caught sight of the familiar auburn ponytail bouncing with her horse's movements next to an easily recognizable neat and slick blonde haired man riding a striking white horse. Not wasting any more time, I ran up between the two.

"Hange, Erwin," I greeted, surprising the two. Erwin opened his mouth to scold me but I was saved by Hange's usual enthusiasm.

"Emmmmmrrrryyyynnnnn! You came to see us off! I've missed you sooooo much!" she squealed with excitement before switching to a more mischievous expression and tone, "Or maybe you just came to see a grumpy short, clean freak of a captain!" She ended this statement with a suggestive wink, and a growl erupted from my older brother's throat.

"Hange! Enough!" he scolded before turning to me, his large eyebrows raising in concern at my unusually somber expression, "Emmryn, what's wrong?" I shifted my weight nervously as we continued forward before meeting his blue eyes that matched mine.

"I have a bad feeling about today," I admitted, nervously, my voice softening and becoming much more vulnerable than I had shown Erwin in years, "Be careful to come back alive. Please." At this, Erwin put his hand on my head in a comforting manner and gave me a reassuring smile. Looking at Hange, she too gave me a confident smile as well as a cheeky double thumbs up. Giggling slightly at her childish display, I gave them both an enthusiastic salute before running back to the Shiganshina trio who had been watching me the whole time in shock.

"You know, Captain Levi?!" Eren yelled in shock, and I laughed before smacking his head for causing a scene.

"Yes. My brother is the commander of the Survey Corps. I know all of the officers," I pointed out bluntly before walking towards the wall, "Now come on. We have wall and cannon duty."

~Time Skip brought to you by migraines and a teething ten month old (Please send help)~

_It looks like the entire 104th training regiment was put on wall duty today. It blows, but what can you do? _I often found my gaze drifting to the area beyond the wall we were on, looking out in wonder on how Levi, Hange, and Erwin were doing. Sighing, the other cadets noticed me angrily wiping down the cannon I was currently cleaning.

"Emmryn, what's wrong? You've been glaring out there and cleaning that one section of that cannon for twenty minutes," Armin asked timidly causing the other cadets in training to look at me. I sighed again and gave them a small smile.

"Nothing. I just feel like I should be out there helping against the titans, not on wall duty," I said bluntly, "It's frustrating when your closest loved ones are out there risking their lives and you're stuck on the sidelines." They all looked at me, some with confusion like I was crazy, others with sympathy.

"Loved ones? I thought you said Erwin was your only sibling in the corps," Christa pointed out. _Damn. I hadn't meant to let that slip._

"Ahhhh… Well…" I started, trying to think of a way to get myself out of this mess.

"You don't have a boyfriend do you?" Connie teased, and I felt my face get hot as I tried to think of how to get myself out of this. Levi and I weren't exactly open about our relationship. Only Hange, Erwin, and Mike knew, and that was more out of necessity because hiding it from them would have been a fucking nightmare. Luckily, or unfortunately depending on how you wanted to look at it, Jean's laugh interrupted us.

"Oh come on! Like Emmryn would settle for anyone who was brain dead enough to join the Survey Corps!" Jean sneered, and I glared at this, "Besides, we're going on a date after graduation right?"

"We've been over this, Jean. I'm seven years older than you, dumbass," I pointed out, trying really hard not to punch the guy in the face considering he did just save me a bit. He winked at me.

"Age is just a number, my dear," he flirted.

I rolled my eyes at this right as Sasha walked over, saying something about stealing meat from the officer's quarters. _Walls. This woman is dumb but she's hella stealthy._ Everyone agreed to might as well try it, even me because I mean, she went through all the trouble to get it, might as well. Right as I was about to walk over with everyone else, lightning struck, temporarily blinding me; however, when I could see, my breath was caught in my throat. In front of me was a titan that was taller than the Wall: The Colossal titan. We were under attack once again.

Song: Guns For Hands by Twenty One Pilots (Social Repose Cover)

Edited: 03/26/2020


	24. Ch 24: Attack on Trost

_Tell me,_

_how many times _

_have you lost _

_your voice to _

_someone who isn't _

_even listening?_

_**Kat Savage**_

-EMMRYN'S POV-

What happened next was a terrible blur. I remember the Colossal Titan showing up out of nowhere and kicking a hole in the wall before Eren and I both attacked it just for it to disappear as we were about to slash its nape.

"What the hell?!" I yelled angrily as I swung down the wall to check on the other cadet trainees. There were some injuries, but more than anything, everyone was just scared out of their minds.

"Everyone! Fall back! We need to meet up with the Garrison and get our marching orders from the higher ups!" I ordered loudly, getting everyone's attention, but they were all still frozen in shock, "Go! NOW!"

At that, they all snapped into focus and began heading towards the inner gate. Taking out a couple of titans on my way, I followed them. When we reached the Garrison, Mikasa and I were ordered to stay back to help with evacuation, earning words of protest from both of us.

"Listen here, Cadet Smith, just because your older brother is the commander of those suicidal bastards in the Survey Corps does NOT mean you have the right to argue with your superiors," the Garrison squad leader snarled at me, "Now start helping with the evacuation before I have you court martialed!"

I growled at this before giving a salute and running to my station. Unfortunately, due to the fact that I had not completed three expeditions, I was still very much on probation. Going against direct orders from a superior would only land me in jail or worse: Back in the Underground. Shaking that disturbing thought from my mind, I focused on taking down any titans not caught by the Vanguard.

The more I killed, the more I realized that the crowd of people behind me, that were supposed to be evacuating, was not shrinking at all. _What the hell was the hold up?_ I quickly finished off the other titans in the area before going back to the inner gate.

To my surprise, the hold up was a huge merchant cart that couldn't fit through the gate and was blocking the other civilians from getting through. As I arrived, the gaudily dressed, obese man, who I could only assume was the owner of the problem in front of me, approached me with a smirk on his face.

"Oh thank the Walls! You're a soldier!" he exclaimed before smugly barking orders at me, "Make these peasants either back off or help my men push my cart through the gate! You help too! After all, this cart is worth more than all of your worthless lives combined!"

The sound of ODM gear stops me from tearing this asshat a new one as I see Mikasa approaching, and she looks shocked as she walks up the merchant.

"Our friends are out there… Fighting… Dying… and you're stopping the evacuation for THIS?!" Mikasa demanded an answer, and I felt my heart ache for her. People truly could be disgusting creatures.

"Of course! That's your job isn't it! Now help us get this cart through," the rich oaf orders, causing Mikasa to snap as suddenly her blades are drawn and at his neck.

"Is that cart worth your life?" Mikasa asked threateningly, and the merchant looked to me for help clearly trying not to panic.

"Wait a minute! You wouldn't kill me in front of your superior, would you? You'll be hanged!" the man claimed, trying to regain control of the situation. I smirked at this.

"First, I'm not her superior. Second, the only reason it's not my blades at your throat right now is because I'm on probation," I answered bluntly. The man paled at this and finally ordered his men to pull the cart back, allowing the evacuation to continue.

After a couple of hours, the evacuation was all but completed. The sound of ODM gear caused Mikasa and I to look up from refilling our gas tanks and blades to see another Garrison officer approaching us. Both of us snapped into salutes as we received new orders.

"Cadet Ackerman, Cadet Smith, you are to both go and aid the vanguard as soon as you finish refilling your blades and gas," the officer ordered before dismissing us. We quickly finished our refilling and headed towards the front lines. Mikasa stayed quite a bit ahead of me, wasting a lot of her gas in the process.

Using my own much more sparingly, I followed behind, picking off any titans that were nearby in order to make things easier for the evacuation team. After I killed my fifth titan on the way to the vanguard, I heard a roar that terrified me, and I picked up my pace, arriving in time to see Eren being pulled out of the nape of a titan. _Wait… What?! _Feeling completely lost, I jumped down to the Shiganshina trio, demanding answers.

"What the hell happened here?!" I demanded as I helped pull Eren out of the now dissolving titan corpse.

Armin quickly explained about Eren getting eaten by a titan in order to save him. Everyone thought Eren was dead. Mikasa went on a titan killing rampage before running out of gas (called it!). Eren's titan form killed a bunch of titans that were threatening them. They managed to make it to the supply tower to refill and when they left, Eren's titan form was being eaten by several titans. Someone then pointed out the titan that had killed one of our fellow trainees, causing Eren to completely lose his shit apparently, going on a rampage and killing that titan before collapsing. _Damn. I really did take my sweet time didn't I?_

Pinching the bridge of my nose and heaving a large sigh, I reached down, slung Eren over my shoulders and instructed everyone to retreat. As Eren, Mikasa, Armin, and I made it safely over the inner wall, we were promptly greeted by several cannons pointing at us along with several Garrison soldiers who appeared to be led by an older captain who looked absolutely scared shitless, though he was clearly trying to mask it by acting ruthless and angry.

"Surrender the titan boy now, and we will do our best to make sure Premier Zachary has mercy on you other three!"

I sighed again as I looked up to the sky and thought to myself, "_Levi and Erwin are going to be pisssseeeedddd…"_

Song: Whatever It Takes by Imagine Dragons

Edited: 03/26/2020


	25. Ch 25: Retaking Trost

_I am the product _

_of too many unfinished kisses _

_and not enough scenarios _

_in which you stay all night._

_**Kat Savage**_

-Emmryn's POV-

After an overly dramatic showdown with that scared shitless commander, we were fortunately saved by Armin's passionate speech, and Commander Pixis stepping in at the last possible second and stopping the trigger happy moron from killing us all. Breathing a sigh of relief, I was not at all surprised when one of the Garrison soldiers instructed me that Commander Pixis had requested my presence on top of the wall.

"Cadet Emmryn Smith, reporting in, Commander Pixis," I greeted with a salute as the bald man in front of me gave me a small smirk.

"That was impressive, Cadet Smith, staring down a barrel of several canons without pulling rank on any of my soldiers. You could have easily used your relation to Erwin or to Levi to get out of that situation," Commander Pixis said, his smirk widening as I kept a straight face.

"My older brother has nothing to do with the actions that I take, and I'm afraid I do not know what you are referring to with Captain Levi, sir. He's merely the person in charge of me until I repay my debt to society," I stated, keeping my voice and face uninterested and stoic, a trick I happened to pick up from the vertically challenged captain. This just earned a chuckle from Pixis.

"Of course. Of course. Now, what do you think of this Armin Arlelt boy's plan?" he asked me as I looked at him apprehensively.

"Now why would a commander of an entire regiment of the military be asking the opinion of a lowly cadet trainee?" I asked apprehensively, causing him to full on laugh as he took a swisk of his flask.

"Not very trusting are you, Cadet? Also, not very shy about questioning authority I see," he laughed before actually answering my question, "I've been made aware that you have an intelligence level on par with your older brother as well as much of his fighting spirit. And let's not kid ourselves here, your skills in both the field and in leadership are enough to outrank almost everyone here." My face flushed slightly at his compliments. I was definitely not used to getting those from anyone in the Survey Corps.

"I am not my brother, and I am not a replacement for him; however, Commander, since you are so keen on knowing my opinion of my fellow cadet, I will inform you that from my observations, his intelligence is on par with Section Commander Hange and my older brother. The main difference is that he massively lacks experience; however, his plan is sound in logic as long as Eren is able to control his titan. It's a massive risk, but it gives humanity a fighting chance for the first time," I answered honestly. It was true. Armin was a bit of a genius honestly. Given time and experience, he could surpass Hange and Erwin both.

"Alright then," Commander Pixis said with a smirk, "Let's rally the troops then, Cadet Emmryn." My smirk mirrored his as we walked to explain the plan to the others.

-Time Skip- (Emmryn is put on the same team as Eren and they reached the boulder where Eren is to transform)

"Alright, Eren. You've got this!" I encouraged, trying to counterbalance the annoying negativity that is Nico Brzenska. He nodded nervously before a glint of pure determination showed in his eye causing me to smirk, "Yeah. You'll be fine, kid."

With that Eren bit into his hand as he jumped towards the boulder. Lightning struck and he was there in his titan form, but something was definitely off. Before I could warn her, Mikasa had jumped to him to get his attention. Finally seeing his eyes, I knew that he was not in control at that moment.

"Shit…," I muttered to myself as I rushed to move her out of the way, successfully landing wrong on my left foot as I got Mikasa and I onto a nearby roof right as Eren punched himself directly in the face, knocking himself out in the process, "Fuck my life…" Mikasa turned to me, shocked.

"Emmryn, what do we do now?" she asked, clearly shaken up. I grimaced as I put a bit of weight on my left foot. It hurt like hell, but it wasn't unbearable. I'd get it treated after this damned mission was done.

"We're cancelling the damned mission. I knew this was a stupid idea from the beginning," Rico interrupted with a glare in Eren's direction, "We are leaving him here and going back to regroup." With that, she lifted up her flare gun and fired off a yellow flare, indicating that something had gone wrong.

"So we get this close to taking a step in favor of humanity, and you're okay with giving up after one mishap?!" I demanded, my tone even, but my glare speaking volumes.

"You Smiths and your damned obsession with the fight for humanity! I have soldiers that are out here that will be dying for some fake idea that may never happen!" Rico barked back, "Now, remember your place Cadet Trainee Smith! Big brother isn't here to protect you this time!"

"You're right. Remember who is in charge, Rico! And I believe Commander Pixis put me in charge of this operation," a calm male voice interrupted, effectively stopping me from getting myself court martialed. I looked over to see Ian Dietrich followed by one of his squad members, Mitabi Jarnach, walking over to us.

"Ian, you cannot be considering continuing this suicide mission," Rico exclaimed angrily, "We're sacrificing soldiers for a mission that has a decreased chance of success every minute we are all out here with this hope here being passed out!" She motioned to Eren. Right then, Armin approached us on ODM gear looking concerned.

"Guys, what happened? Why is Eren passed out?" he asked worriedly. We quickly explained what happened, and he got that look on his face that I recognized from Hange and Erwin. This kid had a plan.

"Do you have an idea how to fix this, Armin?" I questioned, loud enough to get the attention of the other members of the team. He nodded with a serious look on his face.

"Yes. But I'll need everyone to keep the titans away from us for some time," he admitted as he looked at Eren. I smirked at this as I started walking towards the edge of the roof, ignoring the pain in my left foot as I did so.

"Alright. Leave it to me. I didn't become a member of the Special Operations Squad in the Survey Corps for no reason," I admitted with a reassuring smile as I turned to the team, "I'll fight till my dying breath for the sake of this mission. Just give humanity this victory."

Without waiting for an answer, I deployed my ODM gear and attacked the nearest titan to Eren, a 10 meter that just barely missed my ODM cables as I reached its neck and sliced out its nape before landing on a nearby house with ease. I looked back to see the team looking at me in shock before getting into gear themselves. Mitabi, Ian, and Mikasa started going for titans nearby, and Rico stayed near Armin and Eren as a last line of defense.

After taking down another two titans, I was really starting to feel the pain in my left foot, but was distracted by that when an ear shattering titan screech took over my focus. My head snapped back to where Eren was to see him in titan form carrying that giant boulder on his shoulder. My heart lifted. He's actually doing it!

I was so excited that I didn't notice that I was propelling myself straight towards a titan that reached out and grabbed me tightly causing me to spit out a bit of blood. _Shit. There goes at least two cracked ribs. I am not dying when we are this close to a victory! _I managed to slash my way out of the hands of the titan, but my gear was busted. Shit… I clenched my eyes shut tight, bracing for an impact that never happened.

"Damn, greenhorn! Barely done with training and you're getting yourself killed without even going on another expedition!" I heard a familiar voice sneer, causing me to look up to see that none other than Oluo Bozado had managed to catch me mid air. I then noticed Petra slicing through the nape of the titan that had caught me.

"Thanks… asshole… Missed you too… " I wheezed, my lungs hurting from the pressure of the titan and probably from the movement of the broken ribs, and gave him a small smirk. He scoffed at this but gave me a small smirk in return.

"Hurry back, greenhorn. The captain's gotten even more uptight ever since you left. I knew there was something between you two," he said bluntly, giving me a look that dared me to argue with me before taking us to where they were now pulling Eren out of his titan form, the gateway successfully sealed. Standing in front of the Shiganshina trio was none other than the captain I had missed so much since his last visit over two months ago.

"Levi!" I yelled out without thinking, feeling so relieved that we had both survived the hellish day that today had been. He turned to me, his usually stoic expression wavering slightly as he saw me in Oluo's arms as he rushed over to us, quickly taking me from Oluo.

"What happened to you?" he demanded, trying to keep his voice even, though his eyes showed immense concern. Everyone just stared at us in shock. I smiled slightly as I raised my hand to cup his cheek.

"A titan caught me, destroyed my ODM gear, and I'm pretty sure it cracked a couple of ribs. Oh I also messed up my foot saving one of those kids, but I'll live," I admitted, wheezing slightly from the pain in my ribs. He glared back at the Shiganshina trio.

"I expect a full report later," he said before pressing a small kiss to my forehead and calling out, "Gunther, Petra, I need you two to take Emmryn to get treatment. She's cracked a couple of ribs and her foot has been injured. Once you get her to treatment, come back and help us with these titans." Both responded with a quick "yes, captain!" before coming to take me from him. I reached out and grabbed his uniform with shaking hands, the effects of the day's events finally taking their toll on me.

"Levi, please be careful," I said softly just loud enough for him to hear me, "I love you…" He gave me a small smile that only I could see before giving me one more soft kiss on my forehead before whispering as he moved passed my ear, "Now and forever." With those words, my entire body relaxed, and I lost consciousness.

Song: Whatever It Takes by Imagine Dragons

**A/N-**

**Hi everybody! Sorry I haven't been super consistent with posting! I am a stay at home mom with an almost one year old! Also, the past couple of days, I have been out of commission with the worst stomach bug I have ever experienced. Also, side note, I know I am not super descriptive about fights or about scenes that are from the anime. That is because I hate just rewriting what happens and I am terrible at fight scenes. So expect a fair amount of general recaps or overviews of those scenes. Though I hope to get better at them in the future. Thanks for all the support for this series! :) 3 **

Edited: 03/26/2020


	26. Ch 26: Reunited and Introducing Eren

_Maybe I'm meant _

_to suffer _

_so my writing _

_will not._

_**Kat Savage**_

-Emmryn's POV-

"She'll make a full recovery, Captain Levi. She just needs to take it easy for about 3 or 4 weeks in regards to her foot and four to six weeks in regards to her cracked ribs. That means no ODM gear during this time," I heard a voice saying followed by a familiar hmm in response. I opened my eyes slowly and turned my head to see Levi sitting beside me in his uniform, a concerned glint in his steel gray eyes.

"You let yourself get distracted and almost got killed," he stated, irritation obvious in his voice despite the concern in his eyes, "And after you made such a big deal about warning Eyebrows, Shitty Glasses, and I to be careful too." I rolled my eyes at this as I sat up, wincing slightly from the pain in my ribs.

"Yeah. Being half blind and in the middle of humanity's first victory against the titans tends to distract you a little bit," I bit back, my voice showing that I was not in the mood for his scolding.

Suddenly, Levi grasped my chin firmly in his hand forcing me to look at him before crashing his lips forcefully into mine. I groaned slightly at the hunger and frustration that he expressed in the kiss as I returned it full force. It had been months since we had been able to be together fully, and that tension was clearly building up for both of us and was only fueled by the fact that I had almost died. His right hand moved down to my waist, tracing my curves and causing me to whimper when he went across my ribs, snapping us both out of our lust filled makeout session and back to the present.

"Don't be so reckless in the future, damnit," he muttered huskily in my ear as he tangled his long fingers into my dark copper hair, "I don't get attached to people easily. I don't want to lose you." I smiled at this and wrapped my arms around him and laid my head on his chest.

"Sorry, Levi. I'll be more careful in the future," I said sweetly before coming back to reality about what was going on before I passed out, "Wait a minute… Where's Eren and Mikasa and Armin?" He pulled back and looked at me quizzically.

"Oh, the titan kid and the other two from Shiganshina," I clarified. He hummed in response, his usual bored expression returning to his face.

"The titan kid is in the dungeon underneath the capital. Erwin is already in a carriage waiting for you and I to go with him to see him," he explained. At that, I jumped out of the bed, wincing slightly as I did so.

"What are we waiting for then?! Let's go!" I exclaimed, looking around for my clothes. Levi sighed at my slightly scatter-brained behavior before pointing to a set of folded clothes on the table beside my bed. I smiled brightly when I noticed it was a Scouts uniform.

"You won't be attending the graduation ceremony, so there's no need to make you continue to wear the Cadet Corps uniform. You're under my supervision again in lieu of your contract for your freedom," he stated bluntly. I smirked seeing a good opportunity to tease him as I changed.

"And I'm sure your insistence on this has _absolutely nothing_ to do with me getting injured or you having trouble sleeping by yourself at night," I teased as I reached up kissed under his eyes, hinting at the fact that the bags under his eyes had gotten worse since I left. This earned me a "tch" in response to which I couldn't help but laugh lightly. I had missed this hardass so much while I was in training.

I quickly got myself dressed in my uniform, with some assistance from Levi since my sore ribs made some movements way more painful than they should have been. After that, he got me discharged from the infirmary, and we made it to the carriage that was waiting outside for us. He opened the door and allowed me to get in first before getting in himself. As I got in, I saw Erwin with a concerned look on his face as he did a once over of me, clearly inspecting the apparent injuries I had gotten.

"I'll survive, Erwin. After all, I'm a Smith. I won't go down that easily," I teased with a smile. He smiled back a bit, but it seemed more forced than I expected. _What did I say wrong? I thought referring to myself as a Smith would cheer him up. Especially since it showed him I wasn't THAT pissed at him for sending me to training._

"Right… So what can you tell me about this titan boy?" Erwin asked, changing the subject. I frowned slightly at this, but went with it.

"His name is Eren Jaeger. Hot-headed as all get out, and not the sharpest tool in the shed… But he has a passion for killing titans. If he could learn to harness this titan power of his, he could be the secret weapon that gives humanity a real shot against the titans," I explained honestly, "He's a good kid. He just lacks experience; however, he and his two friends managed to survive Shiganshina. So they have a better idea of the terrors that titans can inflict than any of the other cadets." Erwin smiled at this.

"That's great news! So you believe he will join our cause in the Scouting Regiment?" he questioned enthusiastically. I chuckled slightly.

"The kid practically looks up to you and Levi like you're his heroes or something. I guarantee he'll join," I admitted with a smirk in Levi's direction causing Levi to click his tongue in response.

"What are you thinking, Levi?" Erwin inquired with a quizzical look towards the raven-haired captain.

"If the brat is as hot-headed as Emmryn says, he may end up being more of a danger than he's worth, especially if he can't control that power," Levi responded bluntly as he leaned back putting an arm around my shoulders pulling me into him not seeming to care that my older brother was literally right in front of us, "He may end up being more of a liability than an asset in that case; however, we won't know unless we give him a shot. Which you're clearly intending on doing regardless of what I have to say about it, Eyebrows." Well, leave it to Levi to say things exactly as he sees them regardless of who he is talking to.

The next couple of hours were spent in relative silence as Levi kept his arm protectively around me, eventually pulling me to his chest when he noticed me getting tired and insisted I sleep. Not having the energy to argue, I eventually knocked out and only woke up when Levi and Erwin made me get up once we reached the capital.

As we got ready to go down to the dungeons, I followed Levi and Erwin but was stopped by an MP who had allowed both of them to pass ahead of me. This particular MP I suppose did not notice that the two high ranking officials he had just allowed to pass through had stopped and came back up when they realized I was not with them.

"I don't remember being informed that an underground sewer rat was allowed to see the high risk prisoner," the MP sneered, and I rolled my eyes.

"Underground sewer rat. Cute. Never been called that before. Let me guess. Next, you're going to call me some variation of a whore, slut, or prostitute?" I spoke sarcastically, a bored expression on my face, "Do yourself a favor and stand aside, MP. I am here with the Commander and Lance Corporal of the Scouting Regiment, and as much as I'd love the opportunity to flip an MP, the doctor said I'm supposed to be taking it easy for a bit." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Erwin look at me in shock before shooting an accusatory glance at Levi while the lance corporal in question had a slight but proud smirk on his face.

"Really? You think you're so special just because you're related to Commander Erwin. Yet, where are the two high ranking officials you claimed to be here with?" the MP sneered, an arrogant smirk on his face. At that question, I let my eyes meet Levi's which were glinting with both annoyance and amusement as I motioned to the MP to turn around. His face paled as he turned to see both high ranking officials directly behind him as he quickly went into a salute and apologized before glaring at me and letting me pass.

"Levi, your attitude is rubbing off too much on my sister," Erwin stated plainly as we walked down the stairs. And I bit back an urge to make a very inappropriate joke at this. What? I just spent two years with hormone crazed teenagers where sex jokes were literally the main source of entertainment. Don't judge me.

Levi clicked his tongue in response as we reached the bottom of the stairs, and we walked to a table and looked into the cell across from it. There was Eren, chained up and passed out. I sighed and winced slightly as I leaned against the wall beside Levi as Erwin sat in one of the available chairs at the table. We waited in silence for Eren to wake up. Fortunately, we didn't have to wait long.

"Where am I?" Eren slurred as he sat up, still half asleep; however, his eyes went wide when he saw me, Erwin, and Levi across from him and noticed the chains on his ankles and wrists, "What the hell?! Where's Mikasa?! Armin?! Wait a minute! Emmryn! You're okay! What are you doing here? Where are the others?!" I could feel Levi getting pissed off beside me as Erwin interrupted Eren's panicked rant.

"Eren Jaeger," Erwin called calmly, getting Eren's attention.

"Oh my gosh! You're the commander of the Survey Corps, Erwin Smith!" Eren exclaimed, and I face palmed at the fanboying I knew was fixing to come as his eyes fell on Levi, "And you're Captain Levi!" Erwin cleared his throat, and I was silently thanking him because I think Levi was ready to punch Eren's lights out.

"Eren," Erwin calls out again, holding out a key that Eren used to always keep around his neck, "I understand that you claim that this key is to your basement in Shiganshina and may hold answers about the titans. Do not worry. We do not find you as a threat. You're a potential savior to humanity." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. _Here we go. _The humanity's war against the titans speech that I had heard too much as I tuned everything out. That is until Levi moved from beside me.

"The kid's got spunk. Tell the higher ups I'll look after him. It's not necessarily 'cause I trust him, but he could possibly be of use," Levi stated, his usual bored tone and facial expression ever present.

"Thank you so much, Captain!" Eren exclaimed before turning his attention back to me, "Emmryn! You never told me what you were doing here!" Levi glared at this as he moved in between us blocking his view from me.

"She doesn't answer to you, brat," Levi responded, his voice slightly irritated. I sighed as I came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Enough, Levi. Eren is my comrade. He's just confused and worried," I stated bluntly, earning me a glare from Levi, but I ignored him as I turned towards Eren, "Armin and Mikasa are fine. I don't know about anyone else. I got grabbed by a titan before one of Levi's squad saved me from getting eaten. I was already injured, so I ended up passing out pretty quickly. As for why I'm here, I know intelligence is not your strong suit, but I tend to remember it being pointed out multiple times that Erwin's my older brother. Oh, also, I'm a member of the Special Operations squad, so I am one of Levi's squad members. They were kind enough to allow me to come check on one of my fellow trainees."

Eren looked at me in shock. I smirked as Erwin explained that Eren needed to be patient while we tried to get him out of prison before excusing us as we left the dungeon, this time with me being in between Erwin and Levi to prevent any issues like last time. I could feel the irritation radiating off of Levi in waves at my behavior in the dungeon, and I knew if I wasn't injured, my ass would probably be grass. I sighed, but smiled despite myself. It was good to be home.

Song: No Place by Backstreet Boys

Edited: 03/26/2020


	27. Ch 27: Eren's Trial

_I live in a world _

_where my honesty _

_is considered _

_Bravery._

_and this is _

_the saddest truth _

_of all._

_**Kat Savage**_

-Emmryn's POV-

Shortly after leaving the dungeon, Erwin dismissed Levi and I to take some rest since I was injured and had to stay with Levi especially after the issue we had already had with the MP at the dungeon entrance. Levi led me silently to his barrack for this trip. As soon as we both got inside, Levi shut the door behind us and stood angrily in front of me. I sighed in my head and swallowed hard at the obviously pissed corporal.

"Why the hell are you so familiar with that titan brat?!" he demanded to know. My jaw dropped slightly. He was jealous. _What the hell…_

"We were both in the 104th Cadet Corps. He and the other two from Shiganshina were some of the only trainees who respected the Scouts and understood the terror of facing the titans," I replied, trying to reassure him, but he just seemed to be more irritated at my next comment, "The kid is harmless." _Except when he tried to punch Mikasa who I saved and landed on my foot wrong as a result, which is why it was currently broken, but Levi doesn't need to know that._ He was already pissed enough at the brunette, and the last thing Eren needed was a pissed off, protective Levi coming after him.

"He can turn into one of those man-eating bastards, Emmryn!" Levi snarled angrily, his usual bored expression completely slipping at this point, "And you are still on probation as is! Do you know what kind of danger this puts you in?! The MPs could argue that you can't be trusted and have you arrested!" My heart dropped slightly at this. He was right, but I was also stronger and more than capable of handling myself.

"If they say anything, I can claim to just know him because we were on the same squad in the Cadet Corps. I can handle myself, Levi! I'm not defenseless in this situation!" I argued, not wanting to seem weak, especially not to him, "Plus, he's my friend and is probably terrified! I can't just abandon him because it's more convenient for me. What kind of person would I be if I did that?" Levi clicked his tongue and rolled his steel gray eyes in annoyance before pinching the bridge of his nose.

"You are to stay away from the titan brat until all this bullshit is settled. That's an order from the Lance Corporal of the Survey Corps," Levi ordered, his tone that is saved for addressing his squad coming out as his bored expression returned, his eyes telling me that this discussion was over before adding for good measure as he saw that I opened my mouth to argue, "Remember, that you are still on probation and under my direct command. Since you are so keen on arguing and because I don't trust you to follow my orders, you will be staying with me constantly until we return to headquarters. Is that understood, _Cadet Smith_?"

At that last comment, I had to bite back the snarl that rose in the back of my throat. The feelings I may have for the raven-haired man in front of me taking a backseat as I was reminded why I hated him at first. When he acted like this, it pissed me off. Once again, he was showing that he did not fully respect me as a capable soldier that could be trusted. The lack of trust really hurt, but I didn't want to let him see that so I reverted to my training as a mindless soldier and gave him a salute. This shit could not be solved soon enough.

A few days later, it was finally time for Eren's trial. True to his word, I had not been allowed to leave Levi's side for longer than the time it took for him or I to use the restroom or shower. And even that had to be enforced by Erwin because Levi said and I quote, "It's not anything I haven't seen before anyways." which further pissed off Erwin and ended up working in my favor.

Needless to say, the raven-haired man and I were still not on good terms at this point. His words and actions before had really hurt me, but I refused to show that. Instead, I decided to make it seem like I was just angry. My heart felt safer that way.

Anyways, I followed Levi into the courtroom before standing at attention between him and Erwin. I could feel the eyes of a couple of the MPs on me as my hair was tied back in the front, showing my large scar and oddly colored right eye which was probably the only way any of them had to tell I was the same broken and beaten girl that had once been in the same place they now put Eren.

I fought to keep my face expressionless as the court proceedings started. My only hope was that Premier Zachary was what I considered a fairly just and unbiased man in these situations. He had handled my case rather kindly despite pressure from the MPs, and I was still thankful for that. As the court proceedings started, I found myself tuning out the whole thing to avoid getting pissed off, that is until I heard them mention my name.

"Yes, sir?" I responded, not showing any emotion in my voice despite the dread that was bubbling up in my stomach. Me being mentioned in this situation could not possibly mean anything good.

"It says in Squad Leader Rico's report that Eren Jaeger attempted to attack Cadet Mikasa Ackerman after transforming into his titan form. It also says that the only reason she was not injured is because you grabbed her just in time but were injured when you landed due to the force of his swing. Is that true, Cadet Smith?" Zachary asked, causing me to bite back a sigh and a shiver as the feelings of murderous intent flowed off my raven-haired lover in waves. The scariest part was I didn't know which of us three it was most directed at: Mikasa, Eren, or me.

"Yes, sir. Eren Jaeger appeared to temporarily lose control after his initial transformation, but after knocking himself out and being awakened by Cadet Arlert, he was able to -" I tried to defend but was interrupted by Zachary.

"I have read the report, Cadet Smith. Please just answer the questions you are asked from now on," he scolded, and I saluted with a small bow.

"My apologies, Premier Zachary," I said, my tone respectful and measured despite the panic I could feel bubbling up in my stomach. At my scolding, the snickerings of several MPs could be heard as comments like 'of course the prostitute would stand up for the monster,' 'maybe she's a titan too,' and 'should've imprisoned her last time.'

After Mikasa was questioned, more comments like this continued focusing on accusing her of being a titan and being much louder than the ones made about me. At this, Eren completely lost his shit. I sighed to myself as I watched the brunette make his situation so much worse and wished I could help. To my surprise, after Eren told everyone to put all their faith in him, as the MPs all drew their guns to shoot him, I felt Levi move from beside me.

Next thing I knew, Levi kicked Eren so hard in the face that a tooth went flying out of his mouth. At this, my hands went to the rail as tears filled my eyes and I resisted the urge to step in before returning to the relaxed attention stance I had been in previously. Looking at Erwin's stoic face out of the corner of my eye, I seethed internally. This kind of aggressive and gamble of a plan is exactly the kind of strategy my brother would come up with, and as much I hated this idea, my brother's plans had a ridiculous way of making things work out for the better.

Levi continued to kick the shit out of Eren. He was definitely overdoing it, and I had a sneaking suspicion that was confirmed when the stoic captain's intense gray eyes met my blue and white ones. He was pissed that I hid that from him, and he was even more pissed that Eren caused me to get hurt. He knew as well as I did that the foot injury most likely played a part in me losing focus and getting hurt even worse, and he was going to take this chance to abuse Eren for it.

Finally, Levi was stopped by some spineless MPs who pointed out that provoking Eren could cause him to transform. Levi all but taunted them in return, pointing out that he was liable to do that if the MPs got custody and they decided to dissect him. He then pointed out that Eren managed to kill 20 titans after transforming before he was brought down the first time, and challenged whether the MPs could handle him if it came to that again.

Using the silence in the room that was filled with uncertainty, Erwin stood up once again and suggested that Eren be put under Levi's watch and join the survey corps where his newfound titan powers could be monitored and used for the betterment of humanity, and to potentially take back Wall Maria. This earned unbelieving gasps from multiple soldiers throughout the crowd before Zachary quieted everyone before turning his attention to Levi, asking him if he could dispose of Eren if he got out of hand.

Levi didn't take his eyes off of Eren as he stomped on Eren's head for good measure, stating bluntly that it would be all or nothing but if it came to that, Levi would have no problem taking Eren down for good. That thought caused my stomach to churn, but I maintained my stoic expression as Supreme Commander Zachary announced his decision to give custody of Eren over to the Survey Corps under the direct supervision of Lance Corporal Levi Ackerman. At this, the court was dismissed, and I was ordered to follow Erwin, Hange, and Levi to where they were keeping Eren once again.

Once we reached the dungeon, I saw Levi sitting on the couch with his arm behind Eren. As gray eyes met mine, I fixed the man with a seething glare.

"Something you wanna say, _Cadet Smith_?" Levi asked, his eyes slightly narrowed, but his voice stayed his usually uninterested tone.

"Nope," I stated with a pop on the 'p', "Just thought humanity's strongest soldier would know better than to take his personal issues out on a potentially important, and innocent, ally, _Lance Corporal Ackerman_." I finished my statement in the most fake polite tone and smile I could muster causing Eren to stare at me with wide eyes as though I had just grown two heads. He could not believe that I had so obviously smarted off to the man who had just kicked the shit out of him. Hange focused on cleaning Eren's wounds but interrupted the impending argument.

"Walls! Can you two just fuck and makeup already?! We have enough to deal with without your relationship drama and sexual tension making things even more stressful!" Hanji snapped, irritated at our bickering that's been going on for three days now. I think Eren's eyes were about to fall out of his head with how shocked he looked at her comment. _This would be funny if the whole situation wasn't so shit._

"HANGE! Not something I need to hear about my sister!" Erwin snapped angrily at the auburn haired woman before turning to Levi and I, "Now, you two need to go and resolve whatever the hell is going on. Hange is right. Crude, but right. We don't need added divisions or stress right now! So either figure it out or end it. I really do not give a damn which at this point, but it had better be done by the time we leave for headquarters tomorrow. That's an order."

Levi and I both glared at my angry older brother before Levi clicked his tongue and turned to leave the dungeon, not turning to see if I was following. I spared one last glare at my brother and Hange before following Levi to the barrack we had been sharing since he wouldn't let me leave his sight. I sighed as we reached the door and went inside. I had been doing that alot the past couple of days. _Welp. Here goes nothing._

Song: Guns for Hands by Twenty-One Pilots

Edited: 03/26/2020


	28. Ch 28: Talking It Out

_Have you ever been so _

_terribly lost in _

_your own emotions that _

_you can't even find_

_the words to express_

_any of it?_

_**Kat Savage**_

-Emmryn's POV-

After a particularly tense and silent walk, Levi and I finally reached the barrack we were sharing until we returned back to HQ. As soon as we got inside, Levi closed the door behind us and locked it causing me to feel a bit nervous. Not that anyone would blame me given the display he had just done with Eren in the courtroom. Biting back my fear, I tried to lean heavily on my anger to avoid getting stressed to the point of a panic attack. Plus, I felt a bit disappointed and frustrated. I had missed him so much, and instead, he decided to focus on his petty jealousy instead of the fact that we finally got to be together full time again. At that thought, my anger was no longer forced.

"What the hell, Levi?! We're finally able to be together consistently again, and you insist on treating me like any other damned soldier!" I snapped, feeling hurt and abandoned by his behavior these past few days. At this, Levi walked up to me, meeting my clear blue eyed gaze with a glare in his steel gray orbs.

"You almost fucking died, Em, and I wasn't there… Now, I'm trying to protect you, but you keep acting like a headstrong, reckless brat! Pulling rank seems to be the only way to keep you safe!" Levi snapped, his voice barely showing any change from his bored tone, but I could tell. He was pissed and maybe a bit hurt. I felt my anger die a bit at his reasoning for his actions.

"Why didn't you just tell me?..." I asked, my voice much softer and more measured than before, still wanting to hold my ground but also feeling like a bit of a jerk for not hearing him out.

"Because I thought you were smart enough to figure it out!" Levi answered irritatedly causing me to tear up a bit at his wording. My gaze fell to my feet as I subconsciously tucked my bangs behind my right ear, tired of hiding behind it with him.

"A lot has happened this past week. I watched a lot of people die, and for some reason, I still suck ass at handling it. My brain is not in the best place after all of that. Nothing makes sense anymore. And I guess I thought you would see that. I'm sorry, Levi," I admitted, my voice softer than before and would have been hard to hear in a room that wasn't completely silent. The only response I received was a "Tch" from Levi, before I was unexpectedly pulled into his firm chest as one of his hands knotted into my short dark copper hair.

"L-levi?..." I whispered in confusion.

"Dammit woman… Why do I have to care for you so fucking much?" Levi lamented, his tone low and thick but still close to his bored tone as the hand in my hair yanked my head up as Levi claimed my lips in a deep and loving kiss. Too soon we parted, and I looked up at him with a shy smile.

"I missed you, Levi, so much…" I admitted before burying my face into the crook of his neck, taking a deep breath, my nose being filled with his comforting scent of soap and tea, "I'm sorry for not trusting you and being a pain in your ass the past couple of days." After that, I started placing kisses up his neck and across his sharp jaw earning me a small hitch in his breath.

"I know a way you can make it up to me," Levi all but growled in my ear before attacking my neck and shoulder, no doubt leaving marks that were going to be a pain in the ass to cover, "I missed you too, Emmryn."

~~~~~~~Sorry no lemon my dear pervy readers~~~~~~~

After fully inspecting each others' bodies for injuries, or at least that's what I was choosing to call it if Hange or Erwin decided to tease us about it later, Levi of course straightened out the room, changing the sheets while I ran a bath for both of us, limping slightly from the messed up foot and from the soreness from our previous activities. Soon, we ended up together soaking in the warm water causing me to sigh in relief as I leaned back and rested on Levi's muscular torso, enjoying the rare moment of peace in our hellish lives. We washed ourselves quickly before getting out and getting dressed in casual clothes and laying down on the bed together with him hugging me from behind.

"Levi," I said softly earning a hm in response, letting me know he was listening, "What is the plan for the Scouts now?" Back to reality. Levi tightened his muscular arms around my thin waist and rested his chin on my left shoulder so I could see him out of the corner of my eye still.

"Our squad will be taking the titan brat to the old HQ to keep him away from the rest of the Scouts and make sure he doesn't pose a threat to everyone else until he can get that power of his under control," Levi answered boredly. I hummed in agreement with the plan.

"So I guess we'll be back to sneaking around again," I muttered, more to myself than Levi, thinking about the issues I had had with a certain Oluo in the past before I had went to training, and that was before he knew for sure that something was going on between Levi and I. To my surprise, Levi responded to my comment.

"Why the fuck would we do that?" he asked, nipping slightly at the base of my neck and shoulder causing me to let out a slight moan before glaring half-heartedly at him.

"I don't know, Mr. Smart Captain," I answered sarcastically before continuing, "Maybe the fact that you are sleeping with the sister of the commander who is also a former Underground prostitute who is still on probation, 11 years younger than you and is a subordinate of yours on your squad might raise concerns with some of the other members." Levi clicked his tongue at that before getting up causing me to roll over and look at him, confusion reflected in my blue and white eyes as he grabbed a piece of folded paper on his desk before tossing it to me. I caught it clumsily before opening it, my eyes widening in shock.

_Notification of Permission to Wed:_

_Soldiers to be Wed: Lance Corporal Levi Ackerman and Cadet Emmryn Smith_

_Branch: Survey Corps_

_Commander: Erwin Smith_

_Signature of Approval from Commander: Erwin Smith_

_Signature of Approval from Premier: Darius Zachary_

"Levi…" I started, not knowing what to say… Marriage did not seem like something that would be a priority for Levi Ackerman… He looked at me, understanding my confusion as he came and sat beside me on the bed and pulled me into his arms.

"Don't get me wrong. I think the whole notion of a legal marriage is fucking stupid. I don't need some official document to tell you that you're who I'm committed to and who I am going to spend the rest of this hellish existence we have with," Levi stated bluntly making me smile a bit at his crudeness, "But it does have some perks that come with it, like not risking getting either of us in trouble with the higher ups from the other branches, which again, I could give less than a fuck about, but it would also put you in a bad spot with your probation. This basically gives us official permission to share a barrack and for me to fuck you as much as I want without either of us getting court martialed." I jokingly punched him at the last comment trying to process all of this.

"We don't have to do some wedding or some shit, do we? Like, can we just do the paperwork while we are here instead of dealing with all the ceremonial bullshit?" I finally asked after a few minutes. Honestly, the idea of having to deal with a bunch of people and go through the motions and wear a dress for the sake of other people seemed like a major annoyance for me, especially with my anxiety. I felt Levi's chest rumble on my back accompanied by a low chuckle as he grabbed my chin and pulled me to the side to meet his eyes.

"Have I ever told you that I fucking love you?" he asked with a small smile and a fire burning in his eyes.

"Not sure you've ever put it quite like that," I teased reaching up and pressing my lips to his in a sensual and deep kiss which was quickly taken over by Levi. After a couple of minutes, we both pulled back panting slightly from the lack of oxygen.

"We can go do the paperwork now since we are leaving for HQ tomorrow," he said as he leaned close to me and smirked, "Let's go, _Mrs. Emmryn Ackerman_. The office closes in an hour, and I bet the paperwork is gonna be a bitch." I blushed at what he called me before breaking out into a smirk of my own as I pulled away from him and stood up to put on my shoes before looking at him over my shoulder.

"Well come on, _dear_. I'm kind of anxious to go get our license to fuck whenever we want," I teased with a smirk which was returned with a glint of lust in Levi's eyes.

He was in front of me in an instant pulling me into a dominating kiss which I all but melted into before pulling back quickly and walking out the door, leaving me weak in my knees before I regained my breath and limped after him with a shit eating grin on my face.

Song: I'll Be Waiting by King of Little Sweden

Edited: 03/26/2020


	29. Ch 29: Emmryn Ackerman

"_Life is tough my darling, but so are you."_

_**~ Stephanie Bennet Henry**_

-Emmryn's POV-

I looked at the paperwork in my hands, trying to stop the huge grin that threatened to spread across my face. In my hands was the official document for Levi and I's marriage, and according to this document, my name was officially Emmryn Ackerman. It was kind of surreal to be honest. Looking at Levi out of the corner of my left eye, he may have the same bored expression on his face that he always has, but I noticed that his muscles didn't seem quite as tense as usual. He was happy even if he didn't want to show it.

"What the hell are you looking at, _Cadet Ackerman_?" he grumped, though the way he called me by his last name without missing a beat made it lose any sort of punch that would have upset me. Despite my best to hold it in, I giggled slightly, not even caring that I probably looked like a blushing school girl who had finally been acknowledged by her crush.

"So sorry, Corporal Ackerman. I didn't mean to get caught staring," I teased with a flirty wink causing him to click his tongue and roll his eyes as we made it back to the barracks. When we got to our barrack, he pinned me to the wall beside the door, still in the hallway that was thankfully empty, as he leaned close to my ear.

"Get in and prepare yourself, Emmryn. I've got to go turn this shitty paperwork to Eyebrows, and when I get back, I'm going to make sure you can barely fucking walk tomorrow," Levi growled huskily in my ear causing a heat to begin in my stomach as my face flushed red, but I refused to let him beat me and get me flustered that easily this time.

"Is that a promise, _my dear husband_?" I leaned forward and whispered seductively letting my hot breath hit his earlobe. At this, Levi clicked his tongue and pushed me gently towards our barrack door and walked away, no doubt towards Erwin's office. I smiled to myself. I really had missed that grump.

Deciding not to push my luck by going against his orders, I walked into the barrack, eagerly awaiting the night promised by my raven-haired lover. We had barely been together much during my training as I had only gotten one break where I had been able to stay away for longer than a day, and we couldn't exactly risk going at it in the woods near the training camp. (Also, Levi would rather go without sex than get himself unnecessarily dirty. Freaking clean freak.)

Next thing I know, the door opens, closes, locks, and Levi is on top of me leaving a plethora of love bites across the parts of my neck that he had not marked earlier in the day. And with that, our night had just begun.

-No Lemon again. Sorry. I just feel like I suck at writing them :/ -

True to his word, Levi had made sure I was incredibly sore the next morning, but it was in the best way possible so I didn't mind. Luckily, I could easily blame my limp on my messed up foot. _Can't believe I'm saying this, but thank you, Mikasa!_ As I looked in the mirror in the bathroom, I groaned.

"Levi, you asshole! How am I supposed to hide all of these?" I demanded as I went and glared at the man responsible for the dozens of bruises on my neck and shoulders.

"You're not," he replied, his voice sounding bored but a small smug smirk on his thin pink lips and a proud glint in his steel gray eyes.

"Ughhhh! Levi! Seriously! I really don't want to deal with all the stairs from this! People already think I'm on your squad because I'm using my skills from the past to be there. So can you please help me figure out how to hide these?" I begged slightly, my tone going from irritated to upset at the thought of even more rumors being started about me. It's not that I cared that much about what others thought. It was more so that when they brought up the past, it made me relive it sometimes. Damn PTSD.

"Emmryn…" Levi stated, his voice softening as he walked over to me and cupped my cheek in his warm hand and his gray eyes staring into mine as if trying to find the answers to all my thoughts in them before sighing and pressing his lips to my forehead, "If it bothers you that bad, just borrow one of my cravats."

He takes one of the white pieces of cloth and tied it in barrel knot (Basically like a bowtie), sucessfully covering a majority of the marks that my hair did not. I gave him a grateful smile as I tried to adjust my hair to where it covered the rest of the marks the best I could. Once I was done, Levi placed his hand on the back of my head and pulled me up into a chaste kiss causing my attention to turn to my raven-haired lover.

"I won't fight your battles for you, but I also won't allow the squad members to hold your past over you anymore. It's pointless," he stated bluntly before giving me a rare small smile that I swore could not be good for my heart, "Besides, you're my wife, and I don't have a fucking problem with it. Stay by my side. That's an order." I couldn't fight the huge smile that spread across my face as I pulled back from him and gave him a salute.

"Yes sir!" I exclaimed happily causing Levi to roll his eyes and click his tongue as we headed out of the barracks and towards the horses.

"Emmryn! You're okay! We missed you so much!" Petra yelled as soon as she saw me as she ran up and grabbed me into a bonecrushing hug, causing me to wince slightly from the pain in my ribs as I gave a light laugh.

"Yes yes. I'm okay, minus the messed up ribs you're currently hurting," I responded back with a small smile as Petra jumped back apologizing. Suddenly, I felt a hand ruffle my hair.

"Hey, Emmryn. You're gonna be back on Squad Levi right?" Eld inquired with a small smile which I responded to with a nod. The sound of 'tch' turned all of our attention to a haughty expression wearing Oluo who then gave a small smirk.

"Welcome back I guess, greenhorn. Just don't be holding the rest of us back," Oluo sneered, but the maliciousness that used to be in his voice and face were missing as I smiled back.

"I missed you too, Oluo, you moron," I teased as he glared at me, "And I won't be holding anyone back. I'm still going to be beat your kill count in the next two expeditions." At this, he gave me a smirk again and ruffled my hair as well.

"Welcome back, Smith," Gunther greeted with a small smile, and I laughed awkwardly.

"Emmryn!" an enthusiastic voice yelled, saving me the anxiety of deciding whether or not to break the news to the rest of the squad about Levi and I yet.

"Morning, Eren!" I responded with a small smile as he walked up to me with his horse. He looked at me nervously.

"Hey, are you okay? I thought Captain Levi was going to kill you after what happened in the dungeon?" Eren asked worriedly in a loud whisper. I groaned to myself, knowing full well the rest of the squad had heard him.

"Tch. The captain never goes as hard with Smith on punishments. It's been that way from day freaking one, greenhorn," Oluo sneered though his eyes narrowed at me in curiosity to which I shook my head.

"Hey. Quit wasting time, all of you. We have a couple of hours worth of riding to accomplish. You all can interrogate Cadet Jaeger and Cadet Ackerman later," Levi ordered causing me to literally facepalm as I felt five pairs of eyes borrowing into me, "We're leaving now."

"Thanks a lot, Levi," I muttered to him once I had saddled up my horse, Icarus, and had ridden up beside him. He and I were both bringing up the rear of the formation since I was trying to avoid the inevitable interrogations from my fellow squad members.

"Stop being a brat about this. You would have freaked out about how to tell them if I hadn't done that," he replied boredly, "Now go flank, Jaeger. I don't want just Oluo keeping an eye on him." I sighed and did as I was told right as Oluo bit his tongue, spattering blood everywhere. Levi was right, but still. We could have eased into that since it was literally my first day back on Squad Levi.

"Emmryn! I thought your last name was Smith?!" Eren interrogated loudly as soon as he saw me beside him, earning the attention of the rest of the squad.

"You really don't do quiet or subtle, do you Eren?" I retorted, irritation showing on my now flushed face. Oluo snorted at this.

"Yeah. Did the Captain mess up and call you the wrong name or something?" Gunther chimed in. I rolled my eyes and heaved out a large sigh, shooting a glare back at a slightly smirking Levi, before turning back to the rest of our squad.

"No, he didn't," I answered and took a breath before answering quickly, "MylastnameisAckermannowbecauseLeviandIgotmarriedwhilewewereinthecapital." Oluo's eyes looked like they were about to bulge out of his head as Petra let out a shrill shreek of "are you serious?!" and Eld and Gunther just looked gobsmacked. Eren, meanwhile, still didn't seem to believe and looked back at Levi.

"Is that true, Captain?" Eren asked nervously as he moved his horse away from mine a bit almost running into a still shocked Oluo.

"Watch where you're leading your horse, brat! And yes, it's true. If it wasn't, I would have said something," Levi responded plainly, acting as though we had not just dropped a huge fucking bomb on our squad. Right as he said that, we entered a clearing that contained what I recognized to be the old HQ.

"Geez, this place went to shit didn't it?" I muttered in awe as I dismounted Icarus and stabled her, walking up to the building. Gunther nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, the place looks absolutely run down and unmaintained," Eld remarked. That's when I realized. Levi. OCD. Dirty HQ. Shit…

"Well I guess we have a problem then don't we?" Levi asked plainly as he walked up behind us, "Everyone best get a broom and get to work." As everyone else went into the HQ with the cleaning the supplies, Levi called out to me, causing me to stop my limping towards the HQ.

"What is it?" I asked curiously as he walked up to me and pulled me into his chest for a moment.

"You're supposed to be resting because of your injuries. I'm going to have you starting on some of my paperwork since you know how to do it, and you're also going to be supervising the titan brat's cleaning," Levi stated before looking into my eyes with a serious look on his face, "I know you were very uncomfortable earlier, but you handled it well. The training really did help with your confidence." I smiled at the indirect compliment. Sometimes that's the best anyone can hope for from Levi Ackerman. He gave me a soft kiss on my lips before pulling away and walking towards the HQ.

"Hey, Levi," I called out softly causing him to turn back to me with one eyebrow quirked iin acknowledgement, "I love you… And I'm really glad to be back with you again." He gave me a small nod, his stormy gray eyes shining with a clear returning of my feelings.

"I love you too. I'm glad to have you back where you belong, Cadet Emmryn Ackerman."

Song: High Hopes by Kodaline


	30. Ch 30: No More Secrets

_No rest for the wicked. No peace for the good._

_**-James S. A. Corey**_

-Emmryn's POV-

Sitting at a cleaned desk situated in a room on the second floor of the old HQ while trying to focus on the paperwork in front of me while the rest of the Special Operations Squad were all cleaning was highly uncomfortable. Special treatment like this was only going to cause me to be ostracized again by our squad members, but at the same time, I was under strict orders from the medics to keep off my foot when possible.

It was frustrating. Letting out a growl of frustration, I ran my fingers through my dark copper hair, pushing my bangs out of my right eye and pinning them back as I reread the report in front of me for the fifth time still not really paying attention to it. Resisting the urge to throw the desk I was sitting at, I leaned back in the chair I was in and let out a quiet, annoyed groan.

"Fuck this!" I muttered as I looked up to see Eren and Petra returning to finish cleaning the room I was in, a concerned look across both of their faces as Eren's eyes went to my now partially exposed neck, his face now resembling a tomato.

"So that's why you're wearing the captain's cravat. Man, you two sure didn't waste any time did you?" Petra teased, and the blood drained from my face as I realized what Eren had noticed. _Dammit, Levi!_ Deciding to not let them get the upper hand in this situation, I willed my face to go to the stoic expression I had learned from the man responsible for my current embarrassment.

"Nope. I mean, would you? Have you _seen _my husband?" I shot back with a smirk, knowing about Petra's (as well a majority of the women in Survey Corp) attraction to my raven-haired lover. Her face went cherry red as Eren looked increasingly uncomfortable causing me to let out a small laugh.

"Sorry, Eren. Petra started that whole thing. But seriously you two may want to focus on getting this room done before Levi hears us slacking off in here. Believe it or not, I'm not anymore immune to punishments than you guys are. I'm only on desk duty because he hates paperwork and I'm under strict orders from the medics and Erwin to stay off my foot as much as possible," I reminded, trying to keep us all out of trouble. Eren and Petra went a bit pale before rushing to start cleaning the room, Petra sweeping and Eren with the windows.

"Hey, um… Ackerman?" Eren called out nervously. I smiled comfortingly at him.

"Eren, chill out. You can still call me, Emmryn. Just because I'm married to that old grump doesn't mean that we can't remain friends," I soothed as I looked down to reread the stupid report from earlier.

"Well…" Eren started, seeming nervous to continue.

"I bet you're shocked because the captain isn't like what you expected," Petra helped.

"Yeah! I mean, he's humanity's strongest soldier but he's sooo…. By the book… I didn't expect that…" Eren admitted, sounding a bit disappointed. I looked up, paying more attention to the conversation as Petra spoke again.

"I heard that he was more like you were imagining when he first got here. Something about Erwin putting him in his place or something… Even those of us who've been on his squad for a couple of years don't really know what happened or even how old the captain is to be honest," Petra admitted before turning to me, "Do you know any of it, Emmryn? Surely, he's told you."

At that comment, I folded my hands in my lap and looked at them a bit nervously. The truth was, besides telling me about his mom and that he was originally from the Underground, I didn't know any more than they did. Well I did know Levi's age or the best guess of it since there wasn't exactly a record of him being born given the circumstances. _How did Levi get into the Survey Corps from the Underground in the first place?_

"Emmryn?... You okay?" Petra asked nervously, causing me to blink as I looked up at her. There was concern reflected in her gaze as I guess my insecurities were starting to show on my face. Wanting to avoid seeming like I didn't know as much as I felt now that I probably should, I spoke up answering one of their questions.

"I'm fine. Just trying to figure out how to fill out this report," I lied as I pretended to squint down at the report in front of me before adding to appease them, "And Levi is 34." Surprised gasps escaped the other two in the room.

"So wait, he's like 12 years older than you!" Eren exclaimed in disbelief. I rolled my eyes and looked at him.

"Have a problem with that, Jaeger?" a bored baritone voice challenged from the doorway causing all of us to look at the stoic captain himself, and I would have laughed at his cravat tied over his face and the one over his head if I wasn't so bothered about my conversation with Eren and Petra.

"N-no, sir!" Eren shouted nervously, his eyes trained on Levi who walked beside me and looked at the report that I was working on.

"I'll handle that one, Emmryn," Levi stated quietly in my ear, not commenting on the fact that I didn't acknowledge his statement with any more than a nod as he turned back to Eren, "Your cleaning is lamentable. Do it all again."

I glanced up to see Eren's devastated face and wanted to laugh but honestly wasn't feeling that great anymore. My focus was interrupted by Levi's firm grip on my arm as he pulled me out of the chair gently causing me to look at him in confusion. He ignored me.

"Petra," Levi called, getting the attention of the ginger-haired girl, "Put these papers on my desk. And come get me when the cleaning is done so we can have a meeting."  
"Yes, sir!" Petra responded enthusiastically with a salute as Levi nodded in acknowledgement as he led me out of the room and down the hallway to his office. Opening the door, I saw that while smaller than his previous office, it was still set up much the same way. It even had a bedroom attached to it, which is where Levi led me before closing and locking the door behind him as I sat on the bed, looking at my hands.

"What the hell is your problem?" Levi inquired, sounding a bit frustrated, though honestly, he was most likely exhausted. It had been a long week already. Deciding not to add to the frustration, I figured I should just be up front with him.

"How did you end up in the Survey Corps?"

Nothing. He was silent causing me to look up and see the man in front of me with his usual expression gone, his jaw locked and a slight glare on his usually stoic face.

"Levi… How did you end up going from the Underground to the Survey Corps?" This time my tone was more firm. The fact that he clearly didn't want to talk to me about this only spurring me to feel like I needed to know.

"That's none of your business," he finally answered as though that were the end of the conversation causing my temper to flare.

"Like hell it isn't my business!" I snapped, meeting his now fiercer glare with one of my own, "Look, I'm not just some cadet or soldier here. I'm freaking married to you for Wall's sakes! And my older brother probably knows more about you than I do!"

"Then why don't you go ask him how the hell I ended up here?" Levi growled back causing me to pause before I stood up from the bed and pushed past him, limping towards the door to his office.

"Where are you going?" At his angry tone, I turned to look at him out of my one good eye and met his glare with a calm, measured expression. My voice was calm as well, completely the opposite of the turmoil that was going through my head at the moment.

"Back to HQ. You gave a suggestion, so I figured I'd take the initiative to go ask before you try and force me to talk to my brother by pulling rank again," I responded, as though it were the most obvious decision in the world. In no time at all, I was pushed with my back against the closed bedroom door, a now very pissed off Levi in my face.

Blue and white eyes met stormy steel gray as I met his fierce gaze with a calm measured one that I tried my best to avoid expressing how hurt I was feeling that he refused to tell me anything about this. After a couple of tense seconds, Levi sighed and his expression softened from anger to annoyance as he backed up from pinning me to the door and sat on the bed, running his fingers through his dark locks before motioning for me to come to him.

Once I approached the bed, Levi wrapped his arms around my waist, taking special care to avoid putting pressure on my injured ribs as he moved us both to where we laying down, facing each other, with one of his arms wrapped over me and around my waist, the other under my neck and with his hand wrapped into my hair. This was not usual for Levi, especially when approached with a topic he clearly didn't want to deal with. _He's really trying_. With that thought, I lifted my free hand to gently cup his cheek and pull him down for a sweet kiss as I pressed my full lips to his thin ones, appreciating the warmth and gentleness he used in returning the action before pulling away.

"Levi," I cooed softly as I rubbed the side of his cheek with my thumb getting his attention, "I don't want any more secrets between us. This hellish world is full of them without us having them between each other. No more secrets, Levi. Please." His steel gray eyes were much softer than usual, almost vulnerable, but resolute in his decision to approach this obviously less than comfortable topic for him.

"Fine," he conceded before taking a breath and agreeing, "No more secrets."

Song: comethru by Jeremy Zucker


	31. Ch 31: Memories

_My mind lets go a thousand things_

_Like dates of wars and deaths of kings,_

_And yet recalls the very hour-_

'_Twas noon by yonder village tower,_

_And on the last blue noon in May-_

_The wind came briskly up this way,_

_Crisping the brook beside the road;_

_Then, pausing here, set down its load_

_Of pine-scents, and shook listlessly_

_Two petals from that wild-rose tree._

_**~Memory by Thomas Bailey Aldrich**_

-Levi's POV- (Yay for switching things up! It's been a hot minute since I did his POV)

"No more secrets," I had agreed with Emmryn, though part of me really wanted to just yell at her and tell her to mind her own damned business. Whatever that Titan brat and Petra had been talking to Emmryn about had really messed with her head, and I was resisting the urge to punish them both with extra cleaning duties until the next expedition. At the same time, I knew Em had a right to know how I ended up here. I mean I married the damn woman for Wall's sakes.

As much as I told her it was just so we could fuck whenever we wanted, she and I both knew it was more than that. For some reason, I cared deeply for the dark copper haired woman in my arms, and I refused to take any chances that would lead to her being separated from me, like some stupid rule about relationships between squad leaders and their subordinates, especially with her probation not done yet.

"Levi," her low voice called to me softly, knocking me out of my inner rantings as my gaze met her clear blue eye and black and white eye, "Are you okay?" I clicked my tongue in annoyance at my own cowardice before grabbing her hand and pulling it to my lips and kissing her wrist gently before releasing it and placing my hand on her hip.

"You have to promise that you will let me finish the story before you respond," I demanded, my voice not carrying as much of an authoritative tone as it did around the rest of our squad to which she nodded in understanding. I took a deep breath before starting a story that I knew I would hate to relive, steeling myself against the negative emotions I knew I would be dealing with in telling it.

"After my mom died, I was taken in by a guy named Kenny who found me when I was near starvation," I started from the last thing I had told her about my past, "He fed me and taught me to fight and survive in the Underground. After a couple of years, he abandoned me, and I had to figure out how to make it on my own. Within a year, I was challenged by a group of thugs who I defeated and then decided to partner up with their leader, Furlan Church. He became the closest thing I had to a friend and we ran a business as thugs in the Underground, beating up people for those who paid us, stealing from MPs. We became pretty well known down there. Eventually, we managed to steal 3 sets of ODM gear from some useless MPs that were terrorizing people in the streets. That made us even more well known.

A couple of years later, a girl named Isabel showed up at our door being chased by MPs. Long story short, we decided to take her into our gang, and the three of us quickly became a sort of family I guess. We cared for the members of our gang, as much as we could afford to without going insane in that damned place.

Less than two years later, we were approached by a man who wanted us to take a job for a man named Lovof that we refused. Then he took one of our men hostage and forced us to take the job. He had us meet with his boss who told us we would be given citizenship above ground if we completed the job and told us that we would already end up involved even if we didn't want to. I decided that if the target made contact, we would take the job. Otherwise, we'd just continue on as we always had."

"What was the job?" Emmryn interrupted which I answered with a soft glare, not being fully mad at her because I was a bit nervous to answer that question, and pressed my finger to her lips. I sighed, irritated with myself for feeling like I needed to answer this question before I could continue my story.

"Our job was to kill Captain Erwin Smith."

My answer did not have the response I expected. Since Emmryn and Erwin had become much closer, I had expected her to jump out of our bed, punch me, yell at me, anything that would show hatred for me agreeing to take the job. Instead I got a slight widening of eyes before her soft pink lips pressed to mine gently.

"I'm not going to judge anything until you finish your story, Levi. I've seen how much you respect him now. Continue your story. I promise I won't interrupt again," Emmryn responded, her eyes focused on me with a small attempted smile that was more of a grimace, but I appreciated her level-headed thinking. _Walls, this woman is something else._

"Basically, Erwin, Mike, and a couple of other officers managed to capture us even with us using our ODM gear. Erwin agreed to spare our lives and let us come above ground, but in return, we had to join the Survey Corps and participate in the next expedition," I continued growling at the memory of Mike smashing my face into the sewer water on the ground, "We had no other option. Besides, this would be the perfect opportunity to carry out our mission. So I agreed, and we were taken above ground to join the Survey Corps.

Our joining of the Survey Corps was approved by Shadis, and we were trained a bit under a squad leader named Flagon. We were on his squad for the 23rd Expedition. I tried to convince Isabel and Furlan to stay back from the expedition because we didn't know what we'd be facing with the titans, and I was confident that I could kill Erwin on my own without them risking their lives. They insisted on coming though, so we all set off on the expedition together. I should have made them stay."

I growled the last part more to myself than for Emmryn to hear; however, she clearly heard it as her soft pale hand cupped my face, stroking my cheek comfortingly with her thumb. No words left her lips, as she encouraged me with a nod and eyes that shined with understanding of what was about to come next.

"Long story short, Erwin's formation got messed up by an unexpected storm. I was separated from Isabel and Furlan, choosing to use the opportunity to go after Erwin alone. After failing to locate him and getting a bad feeling in my gut, I went back to where I had last seen Isabel and Furlan," I continued, taking a deep breath trying to keep myself stoic as Emmryn continued to rub soothing circles on my cheek, "When I reached there, I was too fucking late.

Both of them were killed by an abnormal titan. I had led them on this fucking mission. They died because of my decision to leave them behind. In a blind rage, I decimated the abnormal responsible for taking away the two people I had ever seen as family away from me. Erwin showed up shortly after I killed the titan, and in my rage, I lunged for him but stopped to vent my rage at him. He then told me that he knew about the mission from Lovof the whole time and that the documents we were to take after killing him were fake. The real ones had already been sent to Premier Zachary. He knew the whole fucking time.

Despite all of this, Erwin requested that I continue to come on expeditions and fight for humanity. He told me not to let my regrets dull my decisions in the future and to continue on. You know how he can be when he gets on the issue of philosophical bullshit." Emmryn let a small humorless laugh at this causing me to give her a small smirk. "But I guess this time his bullshit actually served a purpose. I've been in the Survey Corps ever since."

Emmryn smiled softly at me, pulling my face towards hers and pressing her lips comfortingly against mine. There were no words that could fix what had happened to Furlan and Isabel, just like there were no words that could fix what had happened to her in the Underground. We both knew that, and instead chose to find comfort in one another. At least we did until an annoying knock at my door interrupted us. _Oh well. At least she knows everything_. _No more secrets._

"Captain! I have the paperwork you asked for, and the cleaning is done! Everyone is in the briefing room waiting for you and Emmryn," Petra's voice called out to which I called out dismissing her and letting her know we were coming.

I turned back to the woman in my bed. My wife. It was weird to think that way even though I had been the one who filled out and submitted all the paperwork for it to be approved by Zachary and Eyebrows. Feeling as though a bit of a weight was lifted off of my chest, I pulled Emmryn into a passionate kiss which she returned. I could feel her smile into the kiss as we separated. She laid her head on my chest and spoke, her voice soft, but strong.

"Thank you for telling me, Levi. I'm glad you ended up staying with the Survey Corps," she admitted nuzzling slightly into my chest as I wrapped my arm protectively around her before she looked up at me and smiled again, "As much as I would love to just cuddle you the whole night, we have a meeting to get to." I nodded in agreement as we got up and headed to the meeting room since we still had our uniforms on from earlier.

-Time Skip to the meeting (Emmryn's POV)-

I felt so much better after talking with Levi and was thankful for the talk he and I had before the meeting. I was still amazed that he had been so willing to share all of that with me, but it made me really happy and like I understood my lover just a little bit better.

"Hey Emmryn, do you think any of the trainees from your batch will join the Scouts?" Petra asked excitedly once we were all at the table with our teas. I gave her a small smile.

"I figure Eren's two shadows will join us, but other than them, I'm really not sure. I can tell you for sure that there are three I won't be expecting from the top ten," I informed them, earning curious glances from everyone at the table which turned to Eren.

"Your shadows got a name, Greenhorn?" Oluo interrogated and I chuckled as Eren looked confused.

"What's so funny?" Eren yelled at me, jumping up irritated before sitting down following what I could only assume was a glare from my overprotective husband. I leaned back in my chair and stared at the ceiling before drinking some of my tea.

"I'm talking about Armin Arlert and Mikasa Ackerman. I'm pretty sure we almost got to witness a fight between her and Levi in the courtroom if Armin hadn't held her back," I explained with a small laugh at the thought, "That could have been pretty entertaining come to think of it."

"Enough, Emmryn. Quit instigating shit. We're not here for a gossip session. Walls. Two years with these brats and you're acting too much like them," Levi scolded, irritated by my obvious entertainment with the Shiganshina trio. Meeting Levi's steel gray eyes, I saw how serious he was and decided not to tease him anymore. Everything that had happened in such a short time, along with reliving a difficult part of his past, was wearing on him, and his already small level of patience was quickly wearing thin. I nodded and sat up straight in my seat, sipping my tea silently as the meeting began.

-After the meeting-

We were all sitting at the table still. The meeting had ended, but Levi had not yet dismissed us. He had informed me during our walking to the meeting that Hange was coming to meet with Eren. Almost on cue, there was a bang on the long door, indicating that the crazy scientist was here. Petra removed the bar from the door, and Hange bursted through holding her no doubt aching head.

"Good evening, Squad Levi!" she greeted excitedly before turning to me and Levi with a suggestive wink, "And a special congratulations to the newlyweds! I see you two took my advice and fucked and made up!" As I was about to yell at her, Levi's voice interrupted.

"Obviously. What of it," Levi confirmed bluntly causing my face to turn scarlet and glare at my raven-haired lover who seemed unaffected as Petra and Oluo stifled giggles, and Eld and Gin just gave uncomfortable smirks at my embarrassed expression, "And, you're early." After that, I was too busy glaring at Levi who was flashing me small smirks from behind his teacup as Hange spoke with Eren. I finally tuned back into the conversation when I heard a phrase from Hange that told anyone that knew her to get out, now.

"I see you too have a similarly curious mind, Eren! I'm so delighted!"

At that statement, the entirety of Squad Levi, minus Eren of course, gave the poor boy sympathetic looks as we all returned to our barracks. Levi walked on ahead of me giving me a chance to be teased by our squad mates.

"I knew you two were fucking!" Oluo started smugly while leaning on my head, earning a swift elbow to the rib as I glared up at him before smirking. _Two can play at this game._

"Honestly, Oluo if you needed an image in your head to jerk off to that bad, I'm sure you could have done a bit better with your imagination than just picking the two strongest members on Squad Levi to imagine banging," I teased causing his face to go red, "Besides, I never denied being with Levi except when we weren't actually together. All I did even before we got together was stand up for your obnoxious ass. I'll be accepting a thank you at any time for that by the way." The rest of the squad laughed at this as Eld placed his hand on my head and affectionately ruffled my hair.

"It really is great to have you back, Emmryn," the blonde smiled as he continued, "And we all wish you and Levi many happy years together." Petra and Gunther nodded in agreement with kind smiles, and even Oluo gave me a kind smirk despite his blush.

"Thanks guys. I missed you guys a lot while I was at training," I admitted shyly with a small smile earning chuckles from everyone.

"Oi, quit monopolizing my wife and go the fuck to sleep. We have an early morning tomorrow, and I will not tolerate anyone being late," the baritone voice of my lover rang out in the hallway as we all turned to see him with an almost unnoticeable smirk that allowed all of us to give him a salute before the squad members continued to their respective barracks and I to my lover.

_Yeah… It really was good to be back… _

Song: So Ist Es Immer by Hiroyuki Sawano

**A/N-**

**I am fully aware that Levi's description is not 100% in order with the way the events were in the No Regrets OVA. I was just trying to get a bare description of it and surely missed some details and got some wrong. I also know that the dialogue that I use in the various meetings and such will not be word for word like the anime. Frankly, I write most of these at 2 or 3am when my daughter and husband are asleep, so I use the time for looking them up to sleep. Sorry. I hope you all are still enjoying the story anyways :) **


	32. Ch 32: Just Stay With Me

**NSFW Warning: Smut up ahead! I decided I would do another chapter like this since it's something that reflects their relationship and the emotions behind it more. However, there shouldn't be any super plot important information in this chapter so feel free to skip it :) If you are wanting to read the parts that aren't smut though, it will be separated by a line of ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Please enjoy :) **

_Trusting someone,_

_it's like walking with your eyes closed._

_Trusting no one_

_is a sure way to lose those you hold close._

_**~Sentinel**_

-Emmryn's POV-

The walk to our room was silent as I stayed at Levi's side feeling embarrassed at how he spoke so bluntly earlier, but also more than happy to be back with our squad again and that we had their support. Once we reached our room, Levi went in and removed his shoes immediately, and I did the same, not wanting to mess with the stoic man's OCD.

As soon as that was done, I looked up to see Levi staring at me, hunger and stress in his eyes. He had a lot on his shoulders, and I had been informed that he had lost my replacement on this last expedition. Levi may not look like it, but he always took the deaths of soldiers personally, each one spurring him to fight harder and harder so that their deaths were not in vain.

Sensing what he needed, I decided to take initiative this time. Limping towards him, I threw my arms around the neck of my stoic lover, crashing my lips into his in a passionate kiss and tangling my fingers into his raven locks. He responded eagerly, a low and needy growl erupting from his throat as his fingers immediately went to the buttons on my uniform shirt. His deft fingers made quick work of my shirt and gently pushed the shirt and my jacket off onto the floor, being ever vigilant of my hurt ribs.

Not liking that I was the only one missing clothes, I quickly unbuttoned his shirt and he shrugged it off with his jacket, revealing his muscular chest. Despite our need for one another, not that I should have been surprised, Levi pulled back causing me to groan in annoyance as he started picking our clothes off of the floor and folding them neatly.

"You're a real mood killer sometimes, ya know that?" I teased while secretly appreciating the view of his back muscles rippling as he bent over and picked up our uniform tops. All I got in response was an irritated click of his tongue as he unbuttoned and removed the straps for his ODM gear as well as his uniform pants and folded them neatly, leaving him in just his boxers.

This man was seriously a sight to behold, and I couldn't help but blush when he caught me staring and smirked at me before coming up to me and quickly and efficiently helping me out of mine as well before folding them and laying me gently down on our bed before attacking my neck with rough kisses and nips causing me to let out a moan that I muffled with my hand, not wanting the others to hear me.

"The others on the other side of the hideout. Don't muffle your voice. I want to hear you," Levi ordered, biting directly on my sweet spot earning a louder moan from me that I still tried to muffle from embarrassment. At that, Levi pulled back and gave me an irritated glare before pulling me into a lustful kiss, causing me to blush and let out a needy whimper as he grinded his growing hard on against my wet core, only the fabric from our underwear blocking us.

"L-levi… I need you," I whimpered, even though we had been intimate since I returned, I found that I just couldn't get enough of him after being separated for the better part of two years. Levi's only response was to quickly unclasp my bra, setting free my larger than average breasts and stripping me of my panties before removing his boxers as well.

Steel gray eyes met mine as I saw all the emotions moving like storm clouds through his eyes as he cupped my cheek in his hand as he gently sheathed himself to the hilt in my wet heat. The intensity of his gaze as well as the feeling of being filled to the brim with my lover caused me to let out a low and content moan. Levi let out a low groan of my name as he began to thrust at a slow and passionate pace, taking the chance to kiss down my neck to my breasts before taking the left nipple between his lips and sucking on it earning another moan from me as he fondled the other breast with his hand, his fingers twisting and tugging at my sensitive nipple.

Wanting to encourage him and overwhelmed by the sensations, I tangled my hands into his hair, tugging at the raven strands as his mouth popped off my left nipple and gave the same treatment to my right before returning his lips to mine and running his tongue along my lower lip, asking for entrance which I gladly granted him.

Despite his dominant personality, Levi was always fairly gentle with me when it came to intimacy, not wanting me to feel anything remotely similar to what was done to me during my time in the Underground. It's not like he was never rough with me, but he was always careful about getting my consent. And everytime he did that even for the smallest things like this, it made my heart stutter. This was how Levi showed his love. Not through words or gifts but through patience, passion, and protectiveness in his actions towards me.

As our kisses became more heated, Levi began to pick up the pace of his thrusts causing me to let out more moans of his name begging him to go faster which he gladly did. When he did a particularly deep thrust, I screamed out his name as I saw stars. Levi stopped for a second, sitting up with a smirk as he took one of my legs and put it on his shoulder allowing him to get a better angle to slam deeper into my core.

"LEVI!" I screamed as he began thrusting at an almost inhuman pace into that same spot that caused me to see stars.

"Walls, I fucking love when you scream my name, Emmryn," Levi groaned as he continued to pound into me, his thrusts becoming more erratic, "Fuck, I'm close."

"M-me too!" I moaned between thrusts, struggling to think straight enough through the pleasure to get the words out. At that, Levi put my leg down and pressed his torso against me as he tangled one of his hands into my dark copper hair.

"Cum for me," he groaned into my ear as I felt the knot that had been building in my core explode at his words as I screamed out his name before letting out a series of whimpers and mewls as he continued to thrust into me helping me ride out my orgasm before pulling out and groaning my name as he came onto my stomach and got up, no doubt to get things to clean up. I smiled to myself as I shook my head in exasperation at the odd man I get to call my husband.

When he returned and wiped my stomach off with a wet towel, I was surprised when after putting the towel in the laundry area, he got into bed with me and pulled the blanket over both of us and pulled me flush against his bare chest.

"Not gonna make us bathe after that?" I teased as I rested my head on his chest and inhaled his scent of lemon and the muskyness of sweat from our previous activities. I was relieved to notice that his muscles seemed much more relaxed. They were no longer tensed up like they were earlier. To my surprise, Levi just wrapped his arms tighter around me and buried his face into my neck and took a few shaky breaths.

"Levi? Are you okay?" I asked in concern as I gently ran my fingers through his damp hair earning me a small sigh.

"Yeah… I am… Now…" Levi answered, his voice much more emotional than I had ever heard it, vulnerable even, "I just… Just stay with me, okay?..." I held him closer at the vulnerability in his voice, and frowned realizing he was probably struggling after having to go back through the memory of Furlan and Isabel's deaths. Those were the last people he had truly held close before me.

"I'm not going anywhere, Levi," I soothed, pressing a tender kiss on his head, "You won't get rid of me that easily." That earned a huff of a chuckle from Levi as he placed a soft kiss on my shoulder.

"I figured as much," he muttered before I felt him gradually relax into me before soft snores could be heard causing me to smile.

Song: The Nights by Avicii

**A/N:**

**So I wrote this on Easter. Now I need to go repent XD Anyways, next chapter will be back to more plot stuff :) **


	33. Ch 33: Something Bad

"_You are a minute of quiet in a loud shouting world."_

_**~Gabriel Gadfly**_

-Emmryn's POV-

"Captain Levi! There's been an emergency situation!"

"The fuck?" Levi muttered in a low and husky tone that was thick from sleep as we were awoken by the sound of Petra yelling and knocking on our door.

"The titans that were captured by Section Commander Hanji's squad were killed!" Petra announced, her panicked voice as well as the substance of her news causing Levi and I both to get out of bed quickly.

"Tell everyone to get ready, mount up, and meet at the exit near the stables in 10 minutes!" Levi ordered, his voice stronger now as he got up and quickly and efficiently began to put on his uniform. I tried to do the same, but getting the uniform pants on was still a bit difficult with the pain and bindings from my leg slowing me down quite a bit.

Levi took notice and instead of his normal click of a tongue in annoyance, he simply began assisting me, helping me get the straps and such fastened in record time before pulling me to his chest and pressing a firm kiss on my forehead.

"I need you to stay close to me while we are at the main base. I have a bad feeling about this," Levi admitted lowly, his voice thick with hidden emotions as I nodded in understanding. He was trying to communicate with me even though it was difficult for him. THe least I could do was be understanding and go along with his concerns.

"Alright," I agreed before pressing a small, but firm kiss on his lips, "I'll be right by you the whole time. You can't get rid of me that easily." I pulled back and winked teasingly trying to lighten the stressed aura that was now surrounding my stoic lover. He nodded in acknowledgement before tying a cravat around my neck in the shape of a bow to hide a hickey from last night and heading to the meeting spot.

Once we reached the area Hanji's titans had been being held, the sound of her wailing was overwhelming as she tackled me into a deathgrip of a hug, sobbing hysterically. In order to avoid falling, I had to put some added pressure onto my injured leg causing me to wince along with the screams of pain my ribs gave in protest against the death hug I was currently in.

Not wanting to add anything to the poor woman in front of me, I held back any whimpers and just returned her hug loosely and rubbed small circles around her back. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Levi coming up to us and he did not look happy as he glared at Hanji.

"Oi, shitty glasses, I get your titans were killed but that's not a reason to further injure my already injured wife!" Levi barked, his irritation showing ever so slightly causing all the nearby soldiers to cringe back in nervousness. Titans were scary and sure they had faced some, but a visibly angry Levi was far less common and almost as intimidating.

"I *hic* I'm sorry, Emmryn! I just *hic* They killed MY BABIESS! SAWNEYYYYY! BEANNNNN!" Hanji apologized before breaking back into hysterics before being pulled off of me by her second in command, Moblit. In seconds, Levi was back at my side glancing at me in a way that told me he was concerned.

"I'm fine, _Captain_," I teased with a smile which quickly became a slight grimace as another stab of pain went through my ribs. _Man, Hanji really didn't hold back with that hug, did she?_ Levi clicked his tongue in irritation at my obvious lie before we both got distracted by Petra elbowing Oluo in the ribs HARD I can only imagine for some rude comment about how emotional Hanji was being about the death of the titans. I let out a small snicker as Oluo crumpled over, and Petra saw me watching and gave me a proud smirk that had me laughing a little louder.

"Enough," Levi said quietly but sternly to me before calling out to the rest of our squad, "Alright! Everyone from the Special Operations Squad, we are heading to the main headquarters right now!"

His orders were met with a chorus of "Yes sir"s from all of our squad members as we all mounted our horses to head back to the main base. Part of me was pretty excited. I hadn't really thanked him yet for approving mine and Levi's marriage. He didn't have to do that, but I was beyond grateful that he did.

Once we reached the main base, I noticed that it seemed a bit busier than usual. That's when I remembered. _Oh yeah! The other recruits from the 104th chose what branch to join last night. I can't believe we missed that! I mean… Not that my night wasn't a million times better than some boring graduation ceremony but still…_

"Eren!" "Emmryn!"

My inner rant was interrupted by two familiar voices as I looked up to see a raven haired girl and blonde haired boy running up to meet us. I smiled at the familiar faces.

"Hey Mikasa. Hey Armin!" I greeted with a small smile as Mikasa immediately ran up to Eren and began inspecting him for injuries.

"I swear that little midget better hope I never get my hands on him for what he did to you Eren!" Mikasa growled in irritation, her glare flitting briefly to Levi causing me to bite back until I met eyes with my apathetic and somewhat confused lover causing me to actually let out a chuckle.

"Emmryn! Are you okay? Weren't you injured at Trost?!" Armin inquired nervously causing me to smile at his concern as I nodded.

"Yes, I was, but the medics took care of me. My leg will take about 6 weeks to fully heal and it'll take my ribs about 4. But I'm fine. Nothing to worry about," I assured him with a small smile as he looked at me skeptically, eyeing the straps that went to my ODM gear that were around my legs and waist.

"They aren't letting you use ODM gear are they?!" I shook my head at his question.

"I have this on for emergencies only. With the Walls being attacked twice so closely together, it doesn't hurt to expect the unexpected," I reassured him as he nodded in understanding.

"So who all else joined?" Eren asked the other two of the Shiganshina trio with excitement reflecting in his turquoise eyes. Just as he asked, a small group approached and we were both shocked to see 6 other people from the 104th had joined. Connie, Sasha, Krista, Ymir, Reiner, and Bertholdt all came and greeted us with excited smiles on their faces.

"Emmryn! I can't believe you never told us that you were part of the Special Operations Squad before you even came to training!" Krista exclaimed, awe in her eyes as the other recruits nodded in agreement. My apathetic expression returned as I shrugged.

"Well, you guys weren't exactly privy to that information, and now you all know so that's that," I replied nonchalantly as if I hadn't just admitted to hiding the extent of my abilities from them. I tuned out the rest of the conversations as everyone turned to focus on Eren until a familiar head of two-toned hair came rushing towards me.

"Jean! I'm surprised to see you here!" I greeted him in shock before giving him a taunting smirk, "You left poor Marco to join the Military Police by himself?" At my comment, I felt a shift in the atmosphere of the cadets from the 104th. _This cannot be good._

"Em… Marco… He died at Trost…" Jean managed to get say it without his voice breaking, but I could tell that his heart was. This was not what he and Marco had signed up for when they signed up for the military and I knew it.

"What?! How?!" I demanded, trying to fight my own emotions back as my eyes went wide. Marco was one of the best recruits in the 104th. He was smart and good with the ODM gear. If anyone would have survived, my bets would have been on him and Mikasa.

"I-I don't know! I didn't know he died until we were gathering the bodies to… burn them… He died alone, Emmryn!... No one even saw him die…" Jean was close to breaking, and I could feel the eyes of several soldiers on us due to the volume of our various outbursts. Not caring about what they thought, I put a hand on Jean's shoulder in comfort which was kind of awkward considering how short I was.

"...I see…" I finally got out before looking up at him with a comforting and strong smile that I learned from watching Erwin all these years, "Well, I'm glad that you're still here. Let's fight to make sure that his death wasn't in vain!"

At that comment, Jean pulled me into a tight hug, lifting me to his height causing my feet to leave the ground. I winced a bit from the pain in my ribs before awkwardly patting his back in comfort.

"Damn… Everyone seems to have the urge to hug me super tight when my ribs are injured," I half-teased as Jean puts me back on the ground and jumps back with an apologetic expression on his face. It was then I noticed Eren's terrified expression at Jean's actions, and apparently, Jean noticed too.

"Why the hell do you look so scared, Eren?" Jean taunted with an arrogant smirk, that quickly faltered to a nervous expression with the baritone voice of my lover rang out over our group.

"Probably because you just hugged another man's injured wife in front of him and aggravated her injuries," Levi's voice was filled with irritation at this point as the entirety of the 104th looked between him and I in shock. I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly as I gave them all a slightly apologetic smile before turning to Levi.

"Don't be too harsh on him, Levi. He and I lost a close mutual friend at Trost, and Jean was just delivering the news to me. This was the 104th's first time against titans. A loss like that is hard on everyone," I pointed out as I met eyes with the handsome raven-haired man who was now in front of me. I now knew he understood, so when he clicked his tongue and began to return to his horse to give it food and water, I smiled to myself. _He let it go this time. I'm glad._ The entirety of the 104th recruits present stared at me with even wider eyes than before, and Jean's jaw had actually dropped.

"Riggghtttt… So I guess I should probably reintroduce myself," I joked before saluting the group in front of me with a serious expression, "My name is Emmryn Ackerman, member of the Special Operations Squad, younger sister of the current commander of the Survey Corps, Erwin Smith, and wife of Lance Corporal Levi Ackerman. Welcome to the Survey Corps!" With that, they returned my salute with awed looks on their faces until a higher up ordered them to gather up in formation to submit their ODM gear for inspection.

Levi came up beside me and grabbed my arm and began pulling me with him to Erwin's office after explaining that I was excused from the inspection due to him being fully aware that I had been busy with "other activities" last night. I followed dutifully, my eyes flitting to Jean and Oluo before landing on the sky as my thoughts drowned out the noise of the busy headquarters. _Why am I always stuck saving these dumbasses from punishments caused by their own stupidity. _I sighed to myself as my thoughts began to focus on the close friend I had lost. _Marco, you'd better look after us from up there. You owe me after leaving me alone to deal with this idiot we call a friend._

Song: Still Here by Digital Daggers

**I AM ALIVE! I am still very busy trying to get moved into a new apartment plus I just celebrated my daughter's first birthday, so I'm sorry for the lack of updates, but I promise I had a reason for it. Updates will probably be a bit slower for the next little bit, but I'm going to do my best to get out at least a chapter a week (but we will see). Thank you all again for all the support! :) **


	34. Ch 34: False Confidence

"_**You're the kind of soul anyone would be lucky to be with,**_

_**and you don't even know it,**_

_**the best ones never do."**_

_**~Adrian Michael**_

"Good afternoon, Levi, Cadet Ackerman," Erwin greeted earning a shy smile and blush from me. Not caring about formalities at the moment, I limped over to him and gave him a hug.

"Thank you for approving the marriage between me and Levi, Erwin," I thanked him quietly. He gave me a soft smile as he returned my hug. Mike and Hanji looked at us with happy smiles on their faces. They had seen firsthand how much we had struggled to mend our broken relationship as brother and sister and were clearly relieved to see us interacting without me snapping or crying anymore.

"No problem. I don't know any other man who I trust more to protect you or put up with you," Erwin teased with a teasing glint in his clear blue eyes. After that, we separated and returned to formalities with me sitting beside Levi on the chairs in Erwin's office as we began discussing the plan to prepare for the next month leading up to the next expedition.

It was then that Erwin informed of his suspicions of their being a traitor within the 104th Training Corps cadets. He explained that he planned to tell each squad a different location of the Levi Squad during the expedition in order to keep Eren the safest and to potentially weed out the traitors. After that discussion was over, Levi and I got up to leave and head back to the old HQ.

"Emmryn, I need you to stay back to discuss something with you," Erwin stated in a serious tone that concerned me, but Levi took my hand in his.

"I'll be staying too, then," he informed Erwin, his tone making it clear that he wasn't asking. Erwin simply nodded in response.

"It's probably best that you were here to hear this too," Erwin agrees before continuing with a sigh, "I've been working since you escaped the Underground to try and find your captors and have them apprehended. Turns out that a man named Friar Reed gained citizenship above ground shortly after Emmryn escaped. Him and his cohorts' locations are currently unknown."

At the name Friar Reed, I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. _I can't go back. I'd rather die than go back to that hellhole._ My right eye started burning and I gripped that side of my face in pain as my body began to tremble, whether from fear or anger, I wasn't sure.

"That bastard managed to pay for citizenship using money he got from selling _my_ body," I growled in between gasps for air as I finally felt my world going black, the last thing in my sight the sight of a furious Levi Ackerman.

-Levi's POV-

As Emmryn passed out from her panic attack, I caught her before gently laying her on the couch in Eyebrows's office before letting out a pissed off breath.

"I'll fucking kill that bastard," I growled. I was livid. _How dare that bastard sell my wife's body to scumbags in the underground!_ It wasn't new information but hearing Emmryn gasping that information out in a panic and realizing how much he had made off of her made me sick to my stomach and made me want to fucking break something.

"Levi, we need to focus on our mission right now. Humanity's survival depends on it," Erwin tried to reason, his commander persona full blown at the moment. Hell, at this point, I don't think the dumbass knew how to turn it off and be a big brother when the two conflicted. I glared at his dismissal of what Emmryn had just said.

"You did hear what Emmryn just said to us right?" I questioned, irritation heavy in my usually bored tone.

"I did," Erwin replies nonchalantly earning a full on snarl from me.

"Then you know that this Friar Reed is the bastard that raped her first and the one that destroyed her right eye, yes?" I further interrogated, trying to give the blonde bastard the chance to show semblance of concern for my copper haired lover. Ya know the one that is HIS LITTLE SISTER. He took a deep breath, his eyebrows furrowing in frustration.

"I'm well aware, but his whereabouts are currently unknown, so we need to focus on our upcoming expedition which will have much further reaching implications than this little issue. Humanity's victory against the titans must take priority," he explained slowly as though trying to reason with an irate child, but his words made me see red. The only thing stopping me from coming across that desk and beating the shit out of him was not wanting to wake Emmryn and make her hear this kind of shit again. She'd been through enough already.

"You'd better be fucking ecstatic that she isn't awake to hear you spew that shit out of your mouth. She'd never forgive you if she was," I seethed, not raising my voice despite wanting to yell at the blonde bastard in front of me. He raised in eyebrows in what appeared to be amusement.

"Are you going to tell her?" Eyebrows questioned, clearly already knowing the answer to his question if the smirk on his face was any indication. I simply clicked my tongue and gently picked up Emmryn in my arms before going to the door, determined to ignore Erwin before I did something that I would seriously regret later.

"Levi," Erwin called out, his voice a bit more… emotional than before, "Please keep her safe." At that I noticed Emmryn's hands clutch my uniform jacket as I looked at the commander with a glare evident on my face.

"That was supposed to be your job too. Listen, Eyebrows, either work to be a part of her life as an older brother or leave her the fuck alone. The last thing she needs is for you to half-ass your concern for her," I bit back as I walked out of the door and into my office/room at this HQ before entering and shutting the door behind us. Erwin had kept it empty since we didn't have that many high ranking officers anyways, and this allowed me and Emmryn to have a place to stay when she wanted to visit him.

As I went to put her on the bed, I noticed tears flowing from her closed eyes, and I sighed silently as I felt a bit of pity for the woman in front of me.

"How much did you hear?" I asked cautiously. She opened her eyes showing her blind eye and clear blue eye which were both full of pain.

"Enough to know that I still don't mean shit to him," she lamented, "This shit is why I gave up ever getting out of that hellhole alive after 2 fucking years. I really am worthless." This pissed me off, and I've never been great at words, so instead, I grabbed her chin and crashed my lips into hers trying to express my love and affection for her as well as my determination to keep her safe before pulling back with a fire in my eyes.

"Don't say shit that you know damn well isn't true," I growled, my voice coming out harsh and irritated, "That bastard didn't take away your worth. You're a soldier AND an Ackerman goddammit! Stop with the damn pity parties and shit. It's a waste of your time."

Despite my harsh words, I was sure to be gentle as I wiped her tears away. Actions were the best tool I had to show her that I cared for her and that I would be here for her, but sugarcoating things would only make things worse for her in the long run. Just as I was getting a bit concerned that I had gone too far this time, Emmryn looked up to me with tears still in her eyes, but I felt relieved when I saw a grateful smile grace her pink lips. In moments, those soft lips were on mine in a sweet and loving kiss that lasted almost no time at all before she pulled away.

"I love you too, Levi," she replied with a sad smile earning a small smirk from me. This woman was better at reading me than anyone else. _How far she has come from the girl who would snap or cry every time I used harsh words with her._ I thought with pride before my thoughts drifted to the reason for the tears in her eyes as I pulled her towards me in a protective manner making a silent challenge to that Friar Reed bastard.

_Besides, I fucking dare that bastard to try and lay a finger on her now._

Song: False Confidence by Noah Kahan

**A/N:**

**I'm back! Sorry it took me so long to update! I've been moving (I'm finally done). And been sleep training my daughter (getting her to sleep in her own crib) and it's been rough. But now, hopefully, I'll be able to update more often. I won't have a schedule per say but I will be trying to get out at least one chapter per week. Thank you so much to everyone who has continued to read and support this story while I have been MIA! It means so much to me! (I even have a space in my bullet journal for all the encouraging comments I get from readers!) 3 Always Taeha.**

**P.S. → I hope everyone is staying safe :)**


	35. Ch 35: Training Eren

"_**You are a minute of quiet in a loud shouting world."**_

_**~Gabriel Gadfly**_

-Emmryn's POV-

To say Eren's training wasn't going well would be an understatement. Today was only the first day, and things already looked like it was doomed to be a disaster. Hanji's bright idea for keeping everyone safe was to have Eren transform into a titan at the bottom of a well that the pressure would crush the lower half of his titan body when he transformed, ensuring he couldn't go on a rampage and kill us all. I sighed as I watched from my position beside Levi earning an annoyed click of the tongue from my raven haired lover. Not wanting to deal with his grumpy ass, I started to walk away to go talk with Petra and Oluo, but his hand shot out and grabbed my wrist causing me to roll my eyes in annoyance.

Levi had been like this ever since Commander Smith had told us about Friar Reed being above ground and in an unknown location. He never let me out of his sight unless it was use the toilet and even that had taken some convincing. Baths were no longer something I got to do by myself, but that wasn't so bad because getting to cuddle in the tub with Levi was definitely a perk of this whole thing. However, overall, his overprotective attitude was starting to get on my last nerve. I was trying to be patient because I knew he was just trying to look out for me and protect me, but for Walls sake, I was the one who had been kidnapped and abused and even I wasn't as paranoid as he was.

Wrenching my hand away from him, I gave him a glare over my shoulder, before walking over to where Oluo and Petra were.

"Trouble in paradise, short stuff?" Oluo sneered earning a swift punch in the arm from me causing him to grunt in pain and defend himself, "Hey I was just kidding. Geez. No need to resort to violence."

"Sorry," I muttered, slumping my shoulders slightly, too tired from the high strung aura of my lover from the past couple of days. Petra came up beside me and placed a concerned hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, are you alright, Emmryn? You seem like you're stressed," she asked, concern filling her voice as I forced a fake smile to try and make her not worry so much.

"I'm fine, Petra. I just didn't sleep well. That's all," I half-lied. I hadn't slept well in a couple of days. The nights had been full of night terrors that led to me waking up screaming several times a night. Levi had insisted that he was fine with it. He never slept much to begin with, but after two or three times of it happening, I began fighting sleep tooth and nail to avoid depriving him of what little sleep he usually did get. It was that as well as the constant fear and dread that was pooling in my stomach ever since the commander had told us about him.

The commander. He was a whole other issue for me. I thought we had finally become like siblings again, but after his comments the other day, it was clear to me that I was just another pawn for Erwin. He was not my older brother. He was the commander of the Survey Corps, and he had no desire to be anything else anymore. My heart had broken all over again, but there was nothing I could do at this point. Best to leave him behind, which unfortunately was easier said than done.

Suddenly a flick to my nose snapped me out of my thoughts earning a small squeak of surprise to escape my lips earning a chorus of laughs, my squad members standing around me with Eld's hand inches from my face, prepared to repeat the action to get my attention. My squeak had caused Levi, who was ever alert to everything to do with me lately, to snap his head to our direction, but he relaxed when he saw the squad around me.

I couldn't help but laugh. Not giggle, not chuckle. Full on laugh. I laughed so hard that I started to tear up and my stomach hurt, earning some concerned and entertained smiles to appear on the faces of Squad Levi. They probably thought I had finally lost it. Hell maybe I had. I just knew that right then, I was happy. For a moment, I was not scared, not thinking of Friar or titans or a stupid older brother that didn't care about me. Finally, my laughing died down as I wiped tears from my eyes as we went to go eat lunch.

"Sorry guys. I just… I've been stuck in my head a lot. Thanks for snapping me out of it," I admitted with a grateful smile earning smiles from Eld and Petra and slight smirks from Gunther and Oluo.

"Anytime, Mrs. Ackerman," Eld teased with a smile. Oluo made a face.

"Even though I've teased you about the captain for years, that's still weird to think about it," he whined. I rolled my eyes and smirked.

"Then stop thinking about it, you pervert," I teased earning laughs from Petra and Gunther.

"Walls, Ackerman, you got pretty confident after training huh?" Gunther commented with a smile, "It's nice to see you relaxing around us more." I smiled at him.

"Thanks for giving me a chance," I said with a grateful smile. As we got to the table, I noticed everyone seemed to be suspicious of Eren and nervous about getting too close to him. I decided I would take a seat next to him to try and encourage the others to accept him too.

"Still haven't figured it out, huh Jaeger?" I asked, trying to start a conversation, earning a dejected shake of the head from the brunette.

"I just can't figure out why I suddenly can't transform. I know I have to activate it by hurting myself, but no matter how many times I bite my hand, nothing is happening," Eren vented, clearly frustrated and dejected.

"Well, you'd better figure it out soon, greenhorn. All of humanity is depending on you, and all you're doing now is wasting our time," Oluo sneered angrily. I glared at him for that.

"That was uncalled for, Oluo," I shot back, clearly irritated. He glared right back at me.

"You may be fucking the captain, but that doesn't give you the right to order me around," he snapped at me, causing me to roll my eyes.

"You've been using lines like that for nearly two damned years, Oluo. Come up with something a little more original for an insult," I retorted before smirking, "And speaking of the captain, while you're at it maybe find a more original hair style and learn to make your cravat not look so messy."

Just as he was about to snap at me, Eren dropped his spoon. Gunther bent down to grab it for him, but Eren insisted that he could do it. However, as soon as he did, lightning struck and I felt a burning pain on my right side where Eren was sitting.

_Shit! Now he manages to fucking transform?_ As I was cursing to myself, I noticed that everyone had drawn their blades and were positioned to attack Eren who was currently freaking out with just his right arm stuck in a huge titan arm. Cursing under my breath, I grabbed my blades despite the throbbing my now burn right arm did in protest as I stood protectively in front of Eren.

Everyone started yelling at Eren about how he better turn back now or they were gonna kill him. Petra was shouting for me to get away because it was dangerous, but I refused to let them kill Eren just because he spooked them. In seconds, Levi was at my side, his blades also drawn to protect the brunette behind me.

"Look, all of you stand down now!" Levi ordered, clearly not wanting things to escalate either.

"Captain, he's dangerous! You and Emmryn need to get away from him. It's not safe!" Petra yelled in concern. Before anyone could respond, the sound of Hanji's squeal of excitement echoed through the clearing as she ran up to Eren and put her hands on the titan arm before pulling away yelling about how how hot the muscle tissue was. Right about them, Eren managed to pull his arm out of the titan arm causing it to decompose resulting in a heartbroken Hanji.

After that, Levi ordered us all to head back to the old HQ and get ready for dinner and a meeting. Everyone agrees and mounted their horses with me riding with Levi.

"How's your arm?" Levi asked, trying not to sound as irritated as he probably was at the moment. I looked down at my arm. There was some blistering but nothing as bad as I worried it would be.

"It's fine. The burns are pretty minor," I responded back softly, "Thanks for not chewing me out about trying to protect Eren." He clicked his tongue but rested his chin on my shoulder so I could feel his hot breath on my ear.

"I know you think I'm being a dick and paranoid, but I refuse to let those bastards get their hands on you again," he explained, a rare action for my usually stoic husband. I smiled and placed a quick kiss on his cheek.

"My hero," I teased before getting serious, "Thanks, Levi. I know you're just protecting me. I'll try to be less stubborn about it."

"…. Thanks, Emmryn," he responded before placing a soft kiss on the shell of my ear before placing his head on my shoulder as we read the rest of the way to the old HQ in a silent world all our own, mentally away from all the tension among our teammates, safe and comfortable in each others' presence and trust.

Song: The Judge by twenty one pilots


	36. Ch 36: Repercussions of Recklessness

"_**Because that's what you and I do, protect each other."**_

_**~Suzanne Collins**_

-Emmryn's POV-

The atmosphere at dinner that night was tense to put it lightly. The rest of the squad was avoiding Eren like the plague, and after having a bit of a debate with Levi, he agreed to back off a bit and let me try and help Eren a bit with fitting in with everyone. So I decided to sit next to the brunette with a kind smile on my face. He looked at my burnt arm with a guilty expression which was now visible since I had changed into a sleeveless shirt to let it air out at the advice of Hanji.

"I'm so sorry about your arm, Em! I'm still trying to figure out how to control this power!" Eren apologized loudly causing the whole squad to look up, and I resisted facepalming at the glare I felt from Levi at Eren calling me Em.

"If you're so sorry, you should hurry up and control it before you end up killing the people you're so determined to save," Levi stated in his usual bored tone, but I knew it was said in anger at me getting injured and Eren acting so familiar with me which was only confirmed by his next statement, "Your good intentions have done so far is further injure my already injured wife. Get your shit together or fuck off." At that, I snapped.

"Enough, Levi! He apologized! Taking out your frustration on him is doing fuck all to help the situation!" I snapped, seriously tired of this petty shit. The room went completely silent as the entire team stared at me in shock. They had seen that I was more relaxed and less formal with Levi, but they had never seen me straight up stand up to him like this. Eren looked like he was fearing for my safety.

My raven-haired lover himself did not at all look happy with my response as his glare intensified, but he said nothing. Deciding probably to scold me later or make me clean the stables by myself for a couple of weeks. Noticing that no one was going to break the silence, I turned to Eren and gave him a reassuring smile.

"You do need to learn to control it, but I think with Hanji's help and your determination, you'll figure it out. We are depending on you," I tried to reassure him but still be honest. Things were not looking good if he couldn't control this power of his. He just nods dejectedly, and having enough of Levi's glare, I slammed my hands on the table.

"Well as fun as this has been, I'm going to excuse myself," I said irritably earning me a glare and a click of a tongue from Levi.

"And who dismissed you, Cadet?" he challenged, his eyes narrowed, earning him a glare from me in return.

"I'm injured, _Captain_. I was advised by medical staff to take it easy and frankly, it's been a long ass few days," I shot back, leaving the room without looking back or giving him a chance to stop me.

With everything that had happened in the past few days, I was finding myself completely overwhelmed. I needed fresh air. NOW. As I ran out of the base towards the stables, I was shocked to find Icarus not standing in her stall. When I came up to the stables, the smell of blood hit my nose, and as I reached her stall, I looked in to see my horse lying a bloodied mess on the ground.

At that sight, I got a bad feeling in my gut and turned to run back towards the HQ. Right as I did, a blow to my head knocked me to the ground, and as my vision started to fade, I screamed at the top of my lungs for the one person who only wanted to protect me, but I had been too stubborn.

"LEVIII!" I screamed as everything faded to black.

-Levi's POV-

Shitty glasses had just finished explaining to us her theory as to why Eren transformed when he had grabbed the spoon, but I was honestly only half listening. I got the gist of it, but my mind was focused on Emmryn. _I'm sure she's fine. She's just really struggling to stay stable after hearing that that bastard got citizenship above ground. She'll be fine. No one even knows were out here._ Just as I finished that thought, Emmryn screaming my name in fear echoed through the room, and my heart stopped.

In seconds, I was outside looking for her, but seeing no signs of her, I ordered the squad to go in pairs to look for her with Eren coming with me. We searched everywhere, and no one found anything until we reached the stables. As the brat and I reached the stables, the metallic scent of blood permeated the air and I felt my heart drop. I felt a slight sort of relief when I realized that it seemed to have come from her horse who had unfortunately been murdered, but I'd rather it be the horse than Emmryn.

We met back with the other squad members who reported not finding anything causing me to curse under my breath as I began to saddle my horse to go to the main HQ.

"Captain, where are you going?" Petra asked in a concerned tone, "Do you know who took Emmryn?" I looked at my squad. All of them had concerned expressions, but I didn't have time to fully explain right now.

"Everyone get your horses ready and head to the main HQ. I need to have a meeting with Erwin about Emmryn being taken," I ordered and everyone ran off to do as I had ordered. Shitty glasses came up to me with a concerned expression as she was already on her own horse and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"We will find her, Levi," she said, a determined expression on her normally crazed face, "And we'll make those bastards pay." So she knew. Erwin must have told her. After all she was originally the one who treated Emmryn when she first came to the HQ.

"Eyebrows better fucking hope she's okay. If one of those bastards lays a finger here, I'm holding his apathetic, shitty sibling ass responsible," I seethed, though my tone barely showed it. Before shitty glasses could respond to that, the rest of the squad arrived on their horses, determined expressions on each of their faces. And at my order, we all headed full speed towards the main HQ.

_Hold on, Emmryn. We are coming. No one is leaving you to suffer this time. Eyebrows orders and thoughts on it be damned._

Song: Ready Aim Fire by Imagine Dragons


	37. Ch 37: Missing

"_**Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving."**_

_**~J.K. Rowling**_

-Levi's POV-

As soon as we reached the main HQ, I walked straight into Erwin's office to see him calmly sitting at his desk with his hands folded as if he was waiting for me.

"Emmryn was taken," I informed angrily, and his lack of surprise pissed me off even more, "And why do you not even look the least fucking surprised by that information?" Erwin pulled out a sheet of paper from a drawer in his desk.

"I already knew they were coming after her, and I'm pretty sure I know where they have taken her," he informed, passing the paper to me with a smug expression. I looked at the paper, and my eyes widened before narrowing into slits as I glared at the blonde man in front of me.

"You fucking knew they were coming after her and you did absolutely jack shit to protect her?! What the fuck, Erwin? Having her raped and abused for 6 years in the Underground wasn't enough? You had to let her be kidnapped again? What the fuck were you thinking?" I demanded, beyond ready to jump across the table and beat the life out of the man in front of me.

"I was thinking that her husband would protect her and capture the men when they came for her," he replied without missing a beat, and if I hadn't been focused on how much time was wasting with this argument, I would have slit his throat right then and there.

"Listen well, Eyebrows. Do not blame me for you being a shitty older brother, and now, I'm going to protect her. I'm bringing her back, and when I do, I don't want you to ever go fucking near my wife again," I growled before Erwin nodded in understanding.

"I will leave her alone, but don't you want to know my back up plan? The one that will keep those men behind bars for the rest of their lives or possibly even executed? Because if not, you may just find yourself in a jail cell instead. And you wouldn't be able to protect Emmryn very well from there now could you?" I cursed every deity I had ever heard of and even made up ones as I nodded, using all of my restraint in hopes of bringing my wife back. _Those bastards better not have touched her._

-Emmryn's POV-

I wake up to the feeling of cloth over my eyes and not being able to see. _Great. I'm blindfolded. At least I won't have to see the mother fuckers that are going to have their way with me._ My dark thoughts were interrupted by the sound of voices.

"Here ya go, sir. You said you needed some stress relief, and I got ya one of the finest prostitutes to ever grace the Underground," I heard Friar Reed's voice kissing someone's ass apparently. Whoever it was wasn't impressed with his bullshit.

"When I said stress relief, I meant alcohol ya dumbass! Not some former prostitute," the man's gruff voice and thick accent scolded back. Seconds later, the smell of tobacco filled my nostrils as the blindfold was removed, leaving me face to face with an older man with black hair, steel colored eyes, and a cowboy hat.

"Hey there, dollface. Sorry bout my rude subordinate over there. Got a name?" he asked with a smirk. In an act of defiance, I glared at him and spit in his face earning me brain rattling backhand to my face.

"Cheeky little bitch, aren't ya?" the old man glared before letting out a rather sinister chuckle, "Maybe I will break ya." I glared as if daring him to try.

"Kenny, sir," Friar interrupted coming up beside the dark-haired man with an arrogant smirk in my direction, "This bitch is Emmryn Smith, younger sister of the current Commander of the Survey Corps." At the last name, I couldn't help but correct him after how Erwin had acted before I was kidnapped.

"Ackerman," I growled in defiance causing Kenny to freeze, a shocked expression just briefly crossing his face before turning into a cocky smirk.

"What was that, dollface?" he questioned, though I noted that his tone had softened ever so slightly. Maybe this was my chance.

"My name is Emmryn Ackerman," I stated, softening my glare but speaking stronger than before. Kenny looked at me curiously.

"Now where did you get a name like that?" he inquired, the curiosity shining despite his still cocky looking expression.

"Marriage," I answered him calmly before glaring at Friar and directing my next statement, "This time you're not just dealing with an older brother who will toss his sister aside for the good of humanity." At this, Friar laughed loudly as he got in my face with a smirk, leaning down till his face was only inches from mine. Refusing to let him see me weak, I fought back an instinctive flinch and held his gaze with a glare.

"That bastard Levi actually married someone?! And a prostitute at that? Must remind him of dear old mommy-" Friar's taunting was cut short by a gunshot, followed by a sharp, searing pain in my abdomen as I saw the life fade from the eyes of the man who was responsible for 6 years of hell on earth for me. Looking down, I saw a gaping hole in Friar's stomach, and a smaller gunshot wound in mine.

"Walls, I was so fed up with that little shit's yapping, I finally pulled the trigger," Kenny complained before letting out a relieved sigh, "Now, ain't that better? Not hearing him kiss ass about everything. Yeah. This is much better." Despite the searing pain in my abdomen and the pool of my own blood that was beginning to gather at my feet, I found myself feeling relieved and at peace knowing that my rapist and torturer died first.

"Thanks, bastard," I said with a weak smirk as I looked up at Kenny earning an incredulous laugh from the man.

"Thanking someone who played a roll in your kidnapping and just shot you. Levi sure did pick a weird one! Ya know, I actually hope those guys find ya in time to save your life, dollface! See ya!" Kenny exclaimed with a hearty laugh as my vision faded to black.

Song: Sunrise by Our Last Night


	38. Ch 38: Rescued

"_**No matter our age, we are all called to go to the rescue."**_

_**~Mervyn B. Arnold**_

-Levi's POV-

Eyebrows had assured me that the location that he had given us was the correct one, and while I had learned to put my trust in the blonde bastard years ago, after this stunt he pulled with Emmryn, I found myself pissed at him and only trusting his word because I had no other option. After I had stormed Eyebrows's office, the members of Squad Levi had insisted on being let into the loop and assisting with the rescue mission.

"Fine. Glad to know there are those in the Survey Corps that would actually risk themselves for their comrade," I responded, taking a very vague jab at the commander. While that wasn't my usual method of doing things, I didn't really want to damage the squad's trust in their commander right before an expedition. That would be a recipe for disaster.

As we prepared for the rescue mission, I looked at a letter that Emmryn had written me when she was first sent away to the Training Corps. She didn't know it, but I had kept it in my uniform pocket ever since. It was a reminder that I still had someone I loved that was depending on me to come back alive from each expedition. And now, it was serving as a reminder that I had someone to protect, and since her piece of shit older brother wouldn't help me, I would protect her myself.

I had decided to leave behind Eld and Gunther since Eyebrows had informed me that I could not bring my full squad, and while that only served to piss me off even more, I understood his reasoning. A lot of cadets would freak if the entire special operations squad left HQ so shortly before an expedition. Erwin also needed to stay behind as to "avoid suspicion" whatever the hell that meant. We were chasing down a bastard that kidnapped people and forced them into prostitution. Us going after the bastard was anything but suspicious; however, the Survey Corps would probably go into chaos without Eyebrows there as much I hate to admit it.

"Captain… Is Em going to be okay? Who would ever go after her?" the titan brat questioned loudly as we rode towards the address in the Stohess district inside of Wall Sina. I cut my eyes back in a slight glare at the brunette at his use of Emmryn's nickname.

"I don't know, brat. She may already be dead," I answered back in my usual uninterested tone though saying the words out loud felt like a punch to the gut. _Emmryn Ackerman, you'd better not fucking die on me. _The last thing I needed right now for the people I was responsible for to see me lose my cool anymore than they already had.

"How can you say that so casually?!" the brat yelled in shock and anger, "She's your wife! Doesn't she mean anything to you?!" At that question, it took all of my willpower from turning around and breaking the brat's jaw. I didn't plan on responding because I had a sneaking suspicion the anger would cause me to yell and possibly break any composure I was managing to maintain. As it were, at the moment, that composure was hanging by a very thin thread. Fortunately, I had brought the two more outspoken members of my squad.

"What the hell did you say, greenhorn?!" Oluo snapped angrily at the brunette, "Of course the captain cares for Emmryn! He's had a soft spot for that ginger since she showed up at the HQ over 3 years ago. Don't talk about things you know nothing about, you little shit!" I let myself smirk a bit at that, though no one could see me. Who would've guessed that after the bad blood between those two that Oluo Bozado would be the first person to jump to Emmryn's defense? I guess all those times she took his punishments and stopped me from pushing harder punishments onto the younger soldier actually paid off. _Damn Smiths and their uncanny knack for getting their way._

"What he's trying to say, Eren, is that just because the captain isn't as expressive with his feelings doesn't mean that he doesn't care for Emmryn. You can't just say those things to people without thinking," Petra tried to smooth the whole thing over while still supporting me and Emmryn. I was thankful for the two other squad members I had brought along for this mission. I looked at the location Eyebrows had given me.

"All of you, look alive. We are coming up on the location Eyebrows believes these bastards may have taken her to," I called out, interrupting the conversation and was fairly unsurprised when we came to a stop in front of an abandoned looking shack of a building.

"Quite an eyesore for such a nice city in Wall Sina. It's a wonder it hasn't been knocked down yet," Petra commented in confusion, but I barely heard her as the metallic stench of blood became more overpowering as we got closer to the door. I immediately put my hand on the pistol that I had brought just in case as I motioned for the others to stay quiet before quietly opening the door. The sight that reached me made my heart almost stop.

The sunlight streamed through the cracks in the boarded windows revealing a gruesome scene. There in a large pool of blood was a lifeless man, laying facedown, bleeding profusely from his back, and in front of him, slumped over clutching what appeared to be a badly bleeding wound in her own abdomen, was Emmryn. Her breathing seemed to be weak, and in seconds, I was at her side, kneeling in the blood, for once not giving a shit about how dirty I was getting.

Being careful not to jostle her wound as much as I could, I took the dark copper haired woman into my arms. To my surprise, her eyes fluttered open weakly, her blue eye and white eye both appearing glassy. As they met my steel gray ones, she gave a faint smile.

"I-it's over, Levi… He's… dead… I-I'm finally… free…" she managed to say weakly between breaths causing my stomach to churn as I pressed my forehead to hers, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Don't you dare stop fighting, Emmryn. Do you hear me?! Don't you fucking give up now!" I ordered harshly, thankful my voice didn't break; however, before she could reply, she went limp and I panicked, "Emmryn?... Em?! Wake up dammit! I gave you an order… Don't you dare fucking die on me, Emmryn Ackerman! Petra and Oluo, I need you to ride ahead to the nearest doctor and tell them we have a patient in need of immediate attention! Tell them I'll handle any fucking fees they want to charge, but she needs medical attention NOW!" Both of them didn't bother with a salute, and instead, yelled "yes sir!" as they were running back to their horses.

"Sir?" the brat came up to me hesitantly as I stood up, cradling Emmryn close to my chest, "I-I'm sorry for what I said earlier…" I glared at him before clicking my tongue in irritation.

"I don't give a shit what you think about me or my feelings towards my wife. Emmryn is the only one whose opinion on that matters to me," I responded before walking towards where the doctor was, knowing that I could not ride with Emmryn as she was, "Now, Jaeger, you take my horse and follow us. If you were paying attention, then you know that my wife is dying and I don't have the time or patience to deal with any other shit right now."

Without another word, we made it to the doctor in less than 5 minutes. Emmryn's breathing was now so faint that I could only really be certain that she was by the very faint rise and fall of her chest. I would kill whatever bastard did this to her, but first, I needed her to be okay. When we got to the doctor, he immediately began working on her. He was able to remove the bullet from her stomach, and her breathing settled at that point. After that, he was able to stop the bleeding, and she seemed to relax. The whole time, I held her hand between mine, holding her pale hand to my lips, refusing to let go of her or take my eyes off of what the doctor was doing. Within a couple of hours, the doctor had finished patching her up and injected her with a pain reliever and a sedative to keep her from waking up for a bit.

After that, we were given permission to take her back to HQ to rest there, telling us that whether she survives or not at this point is up to her. Not wanting to jostle her on horseback the whole way back to HQ, I bought a carriage for us to take back to HQ. I didn't trust anyone to stay with Emmryn except me, and I didn't want her to wake up without me there if I could help it. So I opted for riding with her in the carriage and having Oluo hook our two horses to the carriage and drive it. As we made our way to HQ, I found myself running my fingers through Emmryn's greasy and knotted hair and looking for any hint that she would wake up.

"Goddammit, Emmryn… I told you you're not allowed to fucking die on me. You have to wake up," I muttered in a rare moment of emotional expression as I pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. _Damn woman had better not give up after surviving so much other shit. We are all each others' got in this hell hole of a world._

Song: Tear in My Heart by twenty one pilots

**A/N: Sorry for the shorter chapter. I really wanted to get a chapter out soon and the next chapter should be much longer. I hope you all are still enjoying this story :) I'm debating stopping this story after the arc with the female titan and starting a second book for this story because it's getting pretty long in terms of chapters. (I know there are much longer ones out there but still.) It would be a nice chance for a fresh start for me (at least mentally) since I feel like my writing style and stuff has changed a lot since starting this book. Please let me know what you all think. Please note: the story will continue. I'm just trying to decide if it should be as a separate book or a continuation of this one. :) Thank you for all of your support and such for this book :) 3 Always, Taeha**


	39. Ch 39: Goodbye?

"_**How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."**_

_**~Winnie the Pooh**_

-Levi's POV-

As soon as we made it back to HQ, I took Emmryn to the infirmary. She had already gained a fair amount of color back in her face, but it looked like the sedative or the pain killer was wearing off, if her wincing was any indication. Shitty Glasses met us in the infirmary and immediately started checking Emmryn's vitals and making sure her condition was stable. When she finished, she left us with a sad sympathetic nod in my direction as I stayed unmoving at the side of my dark copper haired wife, her hand clasped in mine as I rubbed small circles on it.

"Ah! Captain Levi! Commander Erwin would like to see you in his office immediately!" a soldier came in, informing me loudly with a salute, successfully snapping out of my concern and focus on Emmryn, and reminding me of how pissed off I was at the commander. I glared at the poor sap that got sent to fetch me, and I could see the brat begin to get very nervous.

"Quiet down you stupid brat! My wife is trying to recover, and if you impede on that with your unnecessary yelling, I'll having you cleaning this whole damn HQ top to bottom with a fucking toothbrush! Understand?" I responded with a glare, my voice sharp but not at a yell to avoid waking the injured woman beside me. The soldier nodded with a noticeable sheen of sweat on his forehead. _Pathetic and disgusting._

"Y-yes sir. But Captain Levi, Commander Erwin has ordered a meeting with you immediately," the brat said in a softer tone, but still urgent, clearly afraid of Erwin as well. _That brat is fearing the wrong commanding officer. Dumbass._

"Clean out your ears, dumbass. My wife is terribly injured after being targeted by people that have literally tortured her in the past. The least her older fucking brother can do is come here. I'm not going to Eyebrows's office. Tell that bastard if he wants to talk to me, than he fucking knows where to find me," I snapped irritated and completely done with this conversation, before turning back my attention to Emmryn. I heard a nervous "yessir" and five minutes later, much heavier footsteps entered the room.

"Levi, I know you're upset but you cannot defy direct orders like that," Erwin's voice reprimanded. I narrowed my eyes in irritation, refusing to look at the blonde man that I held at least part of the way responsible for Emmryn's current state.

"You obviously don't know how pissed I am then, Erwin. This is my wife… Your younger sister who you used as fucking bait. At the moment, she is my priority. You have two legs. You can walk here to talk to me," I responded in the most civil manner I could manage given the circumstances.

"I don't expect you to understand my methodology or agree with me, Levi, but I do expect you to follow orders," the blonde bastard responded. At this, I turned my glare to Erwin.

"Then, next time, don't use my wife as bait and get her hurt unnecessarily. This is not the first time you have put people I care about most at risk," I responded through gritted teeth, "But this time, you've gone too far. If she doesn't survive this, you're dead."

"I'm going to choose to ignore that you just threatened to murder a commanding officer, and let you know that I simply wanted to inform you that regardless of Emmryn's condition, we will be leaving for the expedition tomorrow. You will be required to be there of course. Your squad needs you. Humanity needs you," he stated simply, earning a nod in understanding from me before the bastard finally decided to leave me in peace.

"Wake up dammit," I gripped Emmryn's hand in both of mine and held it to my lips with my eyes squeezed shut. To my surprise, her hand gripped mine.

"I've been awake," her voice croaked and my eyes shot up to see her face contorted in pain with tears streaming down her cheeks, "Erwin is an asshole." I leaned over her and placed a kiss on her forehead to comfort her.

"Yeah. He is. I'm just glad that you're awake," I admitted, trying not to let tears come to my eyes as I kept my lips against her forehead, "Goddammit, Em. Don't do that shit again." I could practically feel her rolling her eyes with her response.

"No problem, Captain. Next time I'm targeted by one of those sons of bitches, I'll be sure not to get shot while I'm completely tied up," she responded sarcastically, her voice a little less hoarse but still sounding painful. I got up and got her a glass of water before helping her sit up. She thanked me and gave me a weak smile. We sat there in silence for a bit, neither of us having anything to say in light of everything that had happened. Finally, after several minutes, Emmryn spoke, her voice heavy with concern and emotion.

"Levi," she said my name with such affection that my eyes immediately locked with hers, "You have to come back alive from the expedition, okay?..." As my gray eyes stared into her mismatched ones, I saw a fear I had not seen in years in the eyes of the younger woman. She was terrified. She had already lost her older brother in her mind, and while she cared about the rest of our squad, she didn't want to lose the only person she had completely opened herself up to.

"You know I can't promise that," I replied bluntly, and when her face started to show her oncoming panic, I knew I had to reassure her somehow, "But I will do everything I can to come back to you, Em." At that she nodded and tried to scoot over with a slight wince before patting the spot beside her. Sighing at her stubbornness, I gave in and got into bed with her and pulled her into my chest, gently stroking her hair.

"Hey Levi…." she murmured, clearly getting tired, "I love you." I smiled slightly to myself and took a moment to enjoy what could possibly be my last time getting to rest with her like this and pressed my lips to the crown of her head.

"I love you too, Em." And with that, I saw a smile spread across her pale pink lips as her breathing evened out, indicating she had fallen asleep.

After a while, once I was sure she was in a very deep sleep, I gently laid her down and gave her one last soft kiss on her lips as to not wake her before walking out of the room and heading to our own room in the old HQ to prepare for the expedition tomorrow, silently thankful that Emmryn wouldn't be facing the same hell as the rest of us the next day. As long as she was safe, I would do my absolute best to return to her. _Goddammit… You are turning me into a fucking sap, Emmryn, but still, I'll do everything in my power to come back to you. I don't want you to be alone anymore either. _

Song: Weak by AJR

**A/N:**

**I'm sorry the chapters have been short lately. This should be the last chapter that is this short until I finish this book. I have decided to split it into two books, separating at the end of the female titan arc. :) I will probably take like a two week break between the end of this book and the beginning of that one so I can get several chapters done ahead of time. In the meantime, feel free to check out some of my other stories. :)Thanks again for all the support! You guys are freaking amazing, and I'm so thankful! Love Always, Taeha 3 **


	40. Ch 40: The Expedition

"_**Only a life lived in the service to others is worth living."**_

_**~Albert Einstein**_

-Levi's POV-

As we left the safety of the walls at Erwin's command, I knew I needed to focus on the task at hand. Emmryn had wished me luck and safety before I left as well as the rest of the Special Operations Squad. For some reason, she had seemed very concerned, similar to the day the attack on Trost happened. She made me promise to come back alive for the 20th time in the last 12 hours, and I had rolled my eyes, commenting that for a soldier, she sure was acting like a wife whose husband was going to war.

"I guess I kind of am this time around," she had teased, a small, worried smile on her face as she gently adjusted my cravat. I had placed a soft kiss on her head and pulled her to me for a moment before promising to come back and turning to leave with the rest of the squad.

As we began the expedition, everything appeared to be going smoothly as the formation spread out, but it wasn't long before black flairs began appearing across the right flank. _Here it comes._ I thought to myself as I darted my eyes to the forest with giant trees in the distance. _This plan of yours better fucking work, Eyebrows. Your last plan was shit._ It seemed like almost no time had passed when a soldier approached our squad, informing us that the right side of the formation was completely wiped out. I could hear the little titan brat panicking and ignored him, instead ordering Petra to go inform the next squad. She quickly did and was back just in time for us to follow the command into the forest.

As we entered the forest, I ordered everyone to ready their ODM gear, fully aware that the abnormal titan was quickly approaching us unbeknownst to my squad. As soon as the abnormal titan showed up, it killed two men that were following behind us on ODM gear to warn us. Seeing them die so quickly seemed to really get to the brat, not that I blame him. It's never easy to watch your fellow soldiers die, no matter how many times you see it. In response to this, he raised his hand up to bite himself and transform but was stopped by the pleas of our squad. I looked ahead. _Just a little further._ We finally reached the place where we needed to signal, so I shot a concussion shell into the air, confusing my squad.

"Look, Eren, I don't know what the right decision is. I never have. You can either transform and try and fight this titan, or have faith in your comrades and keep running. It's your decision, and I can't tell you which one to choose. Just know that you need to make the choice you will be able to live with," I told him honestly, causing him to pause for a moment before lowering his hand.

"I'll trust you guys!" he yelled as he finished several bangs went off as various cannons shot steel cables into the abnormal titan, shocking my squad. I ordered them to take Eren and the horses up into the forest aways and left Eld in charge while I was gone. I quickly deployed my ODM gear to meet up with Erwin.

"Your plan actually worked, Erwin. Color me impressed," I greeted in a bored tone, resisting the urge to make a comment regarding his plan that almost got Emmryn killed less than 48 hours prior. Banishing that thought from my head, I moved onto the neck of the abnormal titan and began asking her if she was okay with cutting off her limbs and other things to provoke her, hoping that she would let her guard down or at the various least move her hands away from her nape.

As if responding to that, the female titan let out a horrific screech causing all of us to cover our ears. Within minutes, there were dozens of titans on us to the point where they began devouring the female titan. I had to get away to help fend off the oncoming titans, as there were too many for the support squads to handle.

By the time we managed to fend off all of the titans, I approached the female titan to see that the nape had a hole in it. _Goddammit._ Erwin ordered me to refill my gas and blades before returning to my squad, and though I didn't agree with him, I followed his orders. As I was finishing filling my gas tanks, my blades already replenished, the sound of two titans transforming could be heard within a short span of time. I cursed under my breath, quickly reattaching my gas tanks and deploying my ODM gear and heading out after the sound.

As I was moving through the trees, I came across a clearing where I saw Eren being taken into the mouth of the female titan. My eyes widened as I saw the bodies of each of my squad in various places. I had passed Gunther's body on the way here but forced myself to keep going. There would be time to grieve later. If the female titan got Eren, their deaths would have been in vain. Just as I was coming up with a plan, the other Ackerman landed beside me, her eyes wide with panic before narrowing to a murderous expression.

"Don't even think about it, Ackerman. Our priority right now is retrieving Eren, not killing that bitch. We are not enough to kill her," I ordered as I told her my plan. She begrudgingly agreed, and I had a bad feeling that she was going to get herself killed. As we began, things were going well when instead of going for her jaw like we had planned, the stupid brat went for the female titan's nape, when the female titan crystallized her skin again. I almost didn't make it in time to stop her from being crushed, but in the process, I landed wrong, and I felt my ankle crack and winced before leaving the brat on the tree branch and going and cutting the joints in the titan's jaw myself and grabbing the saliva covered Eren in the process before going and giving him to the other kid. I looked up and saw the female titan get up with what looked to be tears in her eyes as she began running away.

"He's alive. Disgusting, but alive," I told her, "Now let's return back to the commander. We need to have someone come back and retrieve the bodies of our fallen comrades before we head back." She just nodded, her focus clearly on the brunette in her arms.

-Time Skip to the trip back to the Walls-

The journey back to the walls was somber but fairly uneventful until some idiots ended up causing some titans to chase after us. In order to escape the titans without any more casualties, we had to sacrifice the bodies of our fallen comrades, and as I saw the bodies of my squad being fed to the titans, I had to bite back an angry yell and look forward as I silently thanked them for their final sacrifice. Finally, we made it back inside the walls.

As we made it inside, the same taunts and comments we always get from the general populace echoed around me, but I honestly couldn't even hear them at this point as I felt the strong loss of my squad, which was only exacerbated when a man came up to me, telling me he was Petra's father and telling me how he had received a letter from Petra about how she was going to devote herself to me and her pride in being chosen to be on my squad. He even commented something about her being too young to marry. That broke me a bit.

"Sir," I finally said, my hand that was gripping my reins shaking, "Petra did not make it… She died saving many lives." The man looked devastated and he gripped the letter in his hand before taking a deep breath, tears flowing down his face.

"Tell me, Captain Levi, did her sacrifice make a difference?" he asked in a hopeful voice, and I didn't have a for sure answer for him. But I knew what he needed to hear.

"Yes sir, it did. Her entire life helped those around her. I know for a fact that even before this expedition, Petra made a huge impact on my wife's life as well," I answered as honestly as I could. He gave me a weak smile, and I handed him Petra's badge from her uniform. I had collected all of them from my squad's bodies before loading them onto the wagon. He clutched it close to his heart.

"Thank you, Captain. Is your wife's name Emmryn by chance?" he asked, that weak smile of his reminding me way too damn much of Petra. Surprised by his question, I nodded, earning a small chuckle from him.

"Petra has been mentioning her in her letters for almost 3 years now. She talked about admiring the girl greatly," he said, "And I would love for you and your wife to come and have dinner with our family sometime. It would mean a great deal to get to know the people that Petra thought so highly of." I looked at him in shock before nodding, making a note to speak with Emmryn about it at a later time.

"I'm sure Emmryn would enjoy that, but give us some time and yourselves time to grieve as well. I haven't told Emmryn yet about Petra, so it will take some time," I responded, still kind of shell shocked and emotionally spent from the hellish day I had. The man nodded and gave me a smile through his tears that made guilt eat away at me even more before excusing himself.

As soon as he did that, I mounted my horse and took off towards HQ. I needed to see Emmryn. I had lost so much today, and I just had to see her safe or else I was actually going to lose it. The ride to HQ was a blur, and I immediately went to the infirmary to Emmryn's room. When I made it there, I was shocked to find it empty. In my panic, I ran around the HQ searching for her before finally reaching my office/our room and running in there only to find Emmryn, calmly sitting at my desk with her hair pulled halfway up out of her face working on the stack of paperwork I had left incomplete before the expedition on my desk. Wasting no time, I ran up to him despite my hurt ankle and pulled her into my arms and gave her a desperate kiss. _Shes alive. She's okay. She's still here._

-Emmryn's POV-

When Levi pulled me into a needy kiss, I was shocked to say the least. I was surprised by the neediness, and I was even more surprised that he was back from the expedition so early, which was never a good sign. After returning his kiss, he pulled back, and I began looking him up and down for injuries, noting that he was putting pretty much no weight on his left foot. But what concerned me most was the look in his eyes. Levi's typically stoic expression was nowhere to be found. He looked deeply troubled as though he were on the verge of breaking. _What happened on the expedition?_

"They're gone, Emmryn," Levi suddenly dropped a bomb on me, and I stood there in shock as I took in what he just told me.

"Who's gone, Levi?" I finally found the courage to get the words out. He was silent for a moment, and I decided to guide him towards the couch in his office so he could get off of his foot. As soon as we made it onto the couch, he all but collapsed in on himself.

"Gunther, Eld, Oluo, and Petra," he finally choked out, "None of them made it back." I sat there frozen for a minute as his words sunk in. _Squad Levi is… gone… Only Levi and Eren survived._ I swallowed back the bile that rose in my throat, instead throwing my arms around my emotionally fragile lover and pulling his head to my chest and running my fingers through his greasy raven locks. We sat there for several minutes as I did my best to soothe him, letting him focus on my heartbeat and taking in the fact that I still had him here with me. Yes, this loss hurt, but at least, I didn't lose everyone I loved. _Levi kept his promise. He came back to me._ I held onto that thought to avoid breaking down before finally speaking.

"I'm going to go run you a bath, Levi. You're filthy," I told him softly, trying to hopefully help take his mind off of grieving our lost comrades as I gently got him off of me and went into our attached bathroom and ran a bath for him. After doing so, I returned back to where I left him on the couch and helped him get to the bath. As soon as I got him into the bathroom, I turned to leave when his hand grasped my arm.

"Stay," he requests, his voice soft, vulnerable. It was nothing like his typically dominant and commanding voice. This man was on the verge of breaking in front of me, and I knew at that point that I couldn't leave him alone. I nodded and we both removed our clothes to bathe. As we get in the tub, with Levi in front of me, he turns to me and grips my shoulders looking me in the eyes before pulling me into a tight embrace, shocking me when I felt his body suddenly wracked by silent sobs.

"I couldn't bring them back, Emmryn…" he said quietly, his voice cracking as the sobs continued to wrack his body. I pulled him closer and stroked his hair again.

"It's not your fault, Levi. We will avenge them," I tried to reassure as tears began flowing from my eyes as well, "They didn't die in vain. We won't let their deaths be in vain dammit." At that, Levi's sobbing stopped though he still shook slightly as he pulled back and looked me in the eyes. His grief turned into anger.

"How many more have to needlessly die?" he asked, not angry at me but clearly pissed at the situation the whole world was in at this point, tears still streaming down his face. He was on the line between panic, an angry breakdown, and a complete emotional breakdown. Finally, I flicked his nose and gave him a stern look, deciding to use his own words against him.

"You're a soldier and an Ackerman goddammit. We don't have time for pity parties," I scolded him with a stern expression as I wiped my own tears away, determination fiercely showing in my tone and my eyes. At this, Levi's expression morphs to one that was more typical of him as he clicked his tongue at me before giving me the slightly sad smile and pulling me into his arms once again, his fingers tangling into my hair.

"Goddammit. I fucking love you, Emmryn Ackerman. You're not allowed to ever fucking die on me," he said softly into my ear, his voice sincere and more stable than I had heard it since he returned from the expedition. Forcing a sad laugh, I gave him the response I knew he needed to hear.

"I'm here, Levi. I love you and I don't plan on going anywhere," I responded as confidently as I could.

Despite our promises to one another, we both knew that survival was never guaranteed, especially as members of the Survey Corps, but for now, we allowed ourselves to blissfully ignore that haunting reality in exchange for the feeling of temporary security that could only be found in each other's arms.

Song: all the kids are depressed by Jeremy Zucker

**A/N:**

**So this is a much longer chapter, and I wanted to let you guys know that there are only two chapters left in this book, but I will be doing a sequel so the story won't be completely ending. I'm estimating that I will start posting chapters for the sequel sometime in two weeks to a month from now since I have a lot going on in the coming couple of weeks, including travelling to two different states that are a fair distance away from where I live with my 1 year old daughter, as well as working on some other stories. I want to thank all of you again for the support you have given this story up until this point, and I hope you all enjoy the final chapters of The Masks We Wear :) 3 Always, Taeha.**


	41. Ch 41: The Plan

"_**It is always with the best intentions that the worst work is done."**_

_**~Oscar Wilde**_

-Emmryn's POV-

The next day, Levi was called into a meeting about the next move the Survey Corps would be taking, and he ordered me to come along as well. I don't think I was exactly invited, but try telling that to my overprotective husband. No one dared argue with him after the hell they had all gone through the day before. As we reached the meeting room, I was surprised to see Mikasa and Armin there as well as Eren and Jean. Of course, Hanji and Erwin were there as well, and I had to force myself not to immediately punch two out of the 8 people in the room.

Levi had told me the night before what had happened on the expedition and had mentioned that Mikasa being a dumbass is essentially what caused him to mess up his ankle which severely pissed me off. They go over the plan of using Eren as a decoy to lure out the female titan, who Armin tells us he believes to be Annie Leonhart. At that, Eren began to snap and claim that there was no way that it was true, and that it was wrong to target her without knowing for sure. That really rubbed me the wrong way. I stood up and slammed my hands on the table, startling everyone as I glared fiercely at Eren.

"So worrying about hurting somebody's feelings is more important than possibly catching one of the biggest risks to the lives of thousands of people? Get your head out of your ass, Jaeger! If she isn't, we can apologize and seem like assholes. But if she is the female titan, we will save lives! Or was sacrificing the lives of my comrades not enough for you to see the gravity of the situation we are in?!" I yelled angrily earning stunned expressions from everyone in the room. Levi took my hand and pulled me back into my chair, rubbing soothing circles on the back of my hand trying to help me calm down without saying anything in front of everyone else. Eren returned my glare.

"Then, maybe you should have been there to help protect them then! You're supposedly this great soldier, but your ass was back here because you couldn't protect yourself from some Underground thugs!" Eren snapped back, and I felt Levi's grip tighten protectively around my hand. I was livid, but before I could put the little shit in his place, Erwin cut in.

"ENOUGH! Both of you need to be quiet and listen. Emmryn, you will not even be part of this mission so if you cannot stop interrupting this meeting, I'm going to ask you to leave," Erwin stated plainly. I bristled at that and spoke up again, my voice much more even and calm than before.

"No way in hell am I not coming on this mission," I argued.

"You're injured," Erwin pointed out, and I scoffed.

"So? Levi is injured too, and you're still insisting on bringing him along," I countered, "Besides according to my probation, anytime I am not forced to stay back from an expedition, I'm supposed to be under Levi's supervision. I know you don't give a shit about me, Commander, but I don't think the Survey Corps can really afford to piss off the MPs more than this plan already will." Most of the room stares at me with their jaws dropped. I may not be an officer, and Erwin may see me as expendable. But I'm a Smith through and through, and if there was one thing Smiths could do, it was use our words as weapons. Mikasa scoffed at my comment.

"Maybe you shouldn't come if you can't control your emotions regarding your romantic life," she sneered, successfully setting me off.

"Oh really, Mikasa. And whose lack of control over their romantic feelings for their adopted _brother_ almost got my _husband_ killed?" I sneered back, about ready to punch her in the face. I had always liked Mikasa during training, but the fact that her recklessness almost got Levi killed and she had the balls to act like I was an emotional bitch. Nope. Nuh uh. Not gonna fly with me today.

"I said enough. Both of you. Emmryn, you make a good point. Anything to put us less on the MP's shit list will be beneficial for the mission. You may come, but you will be on the escort squad with me, Kirschtein, and Levi, and you are absolutely not to leave his side throughout the entirety of the mission. Understood?" Erwin gave in with a stern look. I nodded and gave him a half-hearted salute.

"Thank you, Commander," I responded before sitting back down beside Levi who looked at me, concern just barely showing in his steel gray eyes. I gave him a small smile as the meeting continued. At the end of it, Erwin requested that I stay back, and when Levi didn't move to leave, Erwin ordered him to leave us alone earning an irritated click of the tongue from Levi. Not wanting to push my luck anymore than I already had, I softly told Levi to go and that I would be fine. He didn't seem convinced, but he nodded before leaving the room.

"What is it you needed to talk to me about, Commander?" I asked, keeping my face and my voice as neutral as I could.

"How are you doing with everything?" Erwin asked, concern showing in his clear blue eyes causing me to scoff.

"I'm sorry, but since when the fuck do you actually care how I'm doing, Commander?" I snapped angrily, keeping my voice even but filled with anger. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"Emmryn, I did that so that we could capture those men responsible for what happened to you in the Underground with evidence," he tried to defend himself, earning a glare from me.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Were the various bruises and the medical evaluation done by Hanji when I was brought here from the capital not enough evidence?" I demanded, and the bastard shook his head.

"It only proved that you had been raped, not who had done that to you," he responded, and I laughed without humor.

"So having your supposed younger sister kidnapped and potentially raped again didn't bother you if it allowed you to capture those guys? Tell me, how did it feel to know that your plan fucking backfired and instead, I got shot in the stomach?" I sneered, earning a glare from Erwin at this point.

"I was trying to protect you!"

"Well you could have fucking fooled me!"

"You're a child! I don't expect you to understand!"

"So you allowed your child sister to marry a 32 year old man? What kind of sick fuck are you? If I'm such a child."

"This is just proving my point!" Erwin yelled angrily, "So go ahead and hate me or whatever you want to do. It's the price I must pay for protecting you." I laughed at this.

"You misunderstand, Commander," I answered with a smile that probably made me look like I had lost it, "I don't hate you at all. I just know longer see you as anything more than a commanding officer that has done nothing to deserve my respect. I follow your orders because I have to in order to not go to jail. Not because I see you as family, and certainly not out of respect." It's silent for a minute as I see Erwin's face morph briefly to a hurt expression before going back to his neutral stern one.

"You're dismissed, Cadet Ackerman. I will see you for the mission tomorrow. I would highly suggest following my orders from now on," he stated sternly. I gave him a normal salute before leaving the room to find Levi leaning against the wall waiting. We say nothing as he grabs my hand and holds it tightly before we begin our walk back to our room to prepare for the mission and take comfort in each other's presence.

-Time Skip to in the carriage on the way to the mission-

"Hey _Eren_. Your face is looking a bit horse like. Are you feeling alright?" I teased, letting out a slight chuckle at my own joke. The trip to Stohess was feeling a bit tense after the argument I had had with Erwin, and Jean looked so irritated at being dressed up as Eren that I couldn't help but make fun of him. Thankfully, Jean was a trooper and took it in stride, looking super annoyed before giving me an arrogant smirk.

"Whatever, _Em, _just admit that I'm looking way more handsome than usual and I may just give you the time of day," Jean flirted, and I laughed as I felt the murderous intent radiating off of my husband who I guess Jean had forgotten was _sitting right beside me_ well within distance of being able to murder my flirtatious friend. I grabbed Levi's hand interlocking our fingers, as I winked at Jean.

"Why would I want the time of day from a brat like you when I get to go to bed every night with the hottest man in the walls?" I replied with a smirk causing Levi to tighten his grip on my hand and give me a proud smirk at my crass insinuation. Jean on the other hand paled a bit, and Erwin coughed uncomfortably. I sat back and rested my head on Levi's shoulder, very content with the entertainment I had provided to the otherwise boring journey.

Finally, I knew we had reached our destination when our carriage stopped and we were all ordered by MPs to exit the carriage. I did as I was told, staying very close to Levi without us actually holding hands. The Premier knew about mine and Levi's marriage, but the MPs didn't know about it or know that Zachary knew so it was best to hold that as a trump card if they tried to pull any bullshit.

Dok and Erwin argued as Erwin warned Dok that things were about to get dangerous in Stohess and informed him of a titan in the district. Dok scoffed at that, and I noticed one of the MPs leering at me with a lustful gaze making me glare at him.

"Should we really believe anything he says? I mean he's still bringing that little slut along with him to the capital?" the MP sneered. At that, Levi stepped in front of me and glared menacingly at the MP.

"Call my wife a slut again, and I will put you in your place, brat," he growled, clearly pissed causing all the MPs to stop and stare at him in shock. _So much for keeping that as a trump card. Though I have to admit, it was pretty freaking sexy to see him stick up for me like that._

My less than pure thoughts were interrupted by the sound of 2 lightning strikes close together resonating through the district. Erwin smirked, and I felt a bit of fear and adrenaline begin to course through my veins. _So it begins.  
_

* * *

Song: Hey Brother by Avicci 

**A/N:**

**I now have a Discord server! Please check it out! I will be using it to run polls for when I will update certain stories, which stories to work on next, as well as it just being a place where people can talk about different stuff like anime, fanfiction, writing advice, and so on. That's also where I will post when I update a new story. There is also a fanart channel if any of my lovely readers want to submit fanart! It's new so the numbers aren't high yet, but I encourage anyone who is interested to please check it out! :) A clickable link should be on my profile description, but this particular website has been very stubborn about me trying to include it. So if you can't find it there, please go to my profile on WattPad. There is for sure a clickable link to my Discord server there. Same Username: TaehaNatsuki **

**Again, thank you for all the support on this story 3 Love Always, Taeha**


	42. Ch 42: One Mask Gone, More To Uncover

"_**The human face is, after all, nothing more nor less than a mask."**_

_**~Agatha Christie**_

-Emmryn's POV-

"Alright. We are starting Plan B," Erwin ordered the Scouts that had been escorting us. Jean immediately snatched his wig off his head telling the MPs to never call him Eren again before requesting to assist the others. Erwin told him he could go and to grab gear from Squad 4. Jean nodded, and just then several MPs came and informed Dok that there were two titans fighting in the district.

"Are you responsible for this, Erwin?" Dok demanded angrily.

"I make no excuses. I am the one who set this plan into motion in order to capture the female titan," he responded calmly causing Dok to grit his teeth angrily. Suddenly all the rifles of the MPs were pointed at Erwin. That pissed me off.

"Ya know, Erwin. I bet the higher ups would have no qualms if I had you executed right now," Dok threatened, and without thinking, I pushed forward standing with my arms spread out in front of Erwin, a knife that I had strapped to my thigh drawn in a protective stance.

"Look, as much as I think Erwin can be a complete and total shit head and that his plans often end up with innocent people being hurt, he has never implemented a plan that he didn't think was for the greater good," I said with a glare at Dok and all of the MPs who now seemed confused as to whether or not they should point their rifles at me, "So let me be clear, you will have to kill innocent soldiers who have risked their lives time and time again to protect you and the rest of the people in the walls first. And I may just be some former prostitute from the Underground, but I'll tell you this, I'll put up one hell of a fight if you aim those damned rifles at my older brother again."

They all looked at me in shock, and to be honest, the words were coming out as if by instinct. I felt irritated at myself because I had told myself I had written Erwin off. Hell, I had told Erwin that I had written Erwin off. But still, the man had practically raised me, and while he left me in a lot of shitty situations that I wasn't sure I could forgive him for, he was still my older brother. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked back to see Erwin with a rare sincere smile on his face.

"Don't look too happy about this, Erwin. I still haven't forgiven you for all the bullshit that has happened, especially recently, but I guess, I can't let your gambling ass fight alone," I muttered in irritation as he gently pulled my shoulder back and stood in front of me.

"Nile, you are most likely correct that the higher ups wouldn't mind if you executed me right now, and I would not object," Erwin stated evenly causing me to glare at him, "However, then this would all be your problem." He motioned towards the direction of all the explosions and citizens screaming causing Nile to look quite uncomfortable before finally lamenting and agreeing to let Erwin handle this and let the court decide how to execute him.

"And Cadet Smith," Nile called out to me, and I gave him a questioning look which he returned with a proud smirk, "Glad to see you got your fighting spirit back." I gave him a smirk.

"Thank you, sir," I responded before raising my eyebrows a bit, "But it's Cadet Ackerman now. I'd appreciate it if you could use my correct name in the future." He gave me a proud smirk.

"Understood, Cadet Ackerman."

"Emmryn, you're with me, let's go," Levi said grabbing my arm and pulling me hurriedly towards the sounds of the fighting. We both had our gear with us in case of emergencies. As we approached the sounds of the fighting, I finally caught sight of the monster responsible for the death of my closest friends.

The female titan had chin length blonde hair and blue eyes. She also appeared to be winning in the fight causing me to clench my fight and grit my teeth before finally crying out.

"Don't give up, Eren! You'd better kick this bitch's ass!" I yelled angrily as memories flooded me from my time with my lost squad members, all of which were precious to me.

Petra punching Oluo in the face when she and Eld had finally had enough of him bullying me. Eld treating me like the older brother I had always wanted Erwin to be since returning from the Underground, standing up for me and putting Oluo in his place on more than one occasion. Gunther sharing his food with me as a silent apology after Levi had chewed all of them out in that cluster of trees on the expedition where I had started to finally figure out my feelings towards my now husband.

And then there was Oluo, the most annoying, arrogant, and loudmouthed douchebag of a man I had ever met, but also one of the bravest and most fiercely loyal of our whole team. I missed our back and forth teasing, him stepping in and telling off others who dared do the same out of malice. His wistful looks at Petra and his teasing about me and Levi before anything had even happened.

I missed all of them so much. They were the only family I had since Erwin and I had our falling out. And we were dysfunctional as all hell, but dammit, they were my family. And Levi… Levi had to go through such another traumatic loss that it almost fucking broke him. I felt like going after that bitch myself, but I knew, as I watched Eren get up again and again that this was not my fight. Not this time.

The fight passes in a surreal blur as I watch the two titans and former comrades battle one another, destroying countless buildings in the process. As I saw Annie nearly knock out Eren and begin to run towards the wall, my body moved on its own and without a second thought, I deployed my ODM gear and maneuvered right between her legs in an attempt to cut the tendons in her ankles. However, as I did so, the skin around her ankles became covered with a blue crystal looking substance and my blades snapped in half when they met the crystalised skin.

Cursing under my breath, I maneuvered to the roof of a nearby building as Annie took a giant leap, digging her fingers into the wall and beginning to climb it. My eyes went wide until an ink black blur zoomed past me. I'd never been so thankful to see Mikasa Ackerman, as she made it up the wall and to Annie before ruthlessly slashing through all of Annie's fingers, sending plummeting to the ground below where Eren, who had seemed to have gone berserk, was already waiting for her. He began attacking her without holding back.

My eyes widened and I found myself going towards them as I saw him bite at Annie's nape, but before I could get too close, a sharp pain in my abdomen stopped me, and I landed a couple of meters from the chaos looking down to see my uniform now soaked in blood from where my stitches had come out. _Yep. Levi is gonna kill me._ I began limping towards the two titans when a blinding light began emanating from Annie. Once the light died down, I just caught sight of a green blur soaring past me and slicing Eren out of the nape of his titan.

"Don't go eating a valuable witness, you idiot!" I heard Levi's baritone voice scold Eren. Shortly after, Mikasa and Armin were there pulling him out of his titan body, and Annie's body was revealed to be encased in the crystal that she had been using to protect herself this whole time.

I gritted my teeth at her cowardice, and to my surprise, Jean went up and began slicing at the crystal in a futile attempt to reach the woman inside, demanding answers and demanding her to face all the deaths she had caused including those of our comrades including Marco and all those we lost in the most recent expedition. I felt for him. I really did, and if I hadn't been in such bad pain, I would probably have done the same thing.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Levi approaching me and he looked pissed causing me to be more than a little nervous as he got within arms reach of me. He roughly grabbed me by the chin and pulled me into a deep and frustrated kiss that lasted only moments before pulling away and grabbing the back of my head and pulling me into his chest.

"You're a fucking idiot. Would it kill you to listen to orders and not run off for once?" he scolded, but the bite that was normally in his tone when he was angry was not there, "How many times are you going to make me think that I'm going to lose you?" That last question was said very lowly to where even I was almost unsure that I had heard him correctly. Not knowing what to say to make him feel better, I wrapped my arms around his waist and nuzzled my face into his chest, not caring that there were probably at least a dozen soldiers staring at us at the moment.

We stayed like that for a moment until a series of gasps caused us to look up and see something that would change the future of humanity and the fight against the titans as we knew it. My jaw dropped and I grabbed Levi's hand, trembling slightly in fear. He had no response, a shocked expression on his face as well as he squeezed my hand, the only comfort he could muster at the moment. Everyone was shocked, horrified, and unsure of what the hell we would do next.

Inside that wall, peeking through the hole left by Annie was the face of a titan, a colossal titan_. There were titans in the walls, and the mask on the history of humanity was starting to crumble at this revelation._

_End of Book 1_

**A/N:**

**Hi everyone! I just wanted to thank all of you for reading my first ever completed fanfiction **_**The Masks We Wear.**_ **Fear not, those of you who wanted the story to continue. There will be a book two and I am already starting on ideas for it. However, I really wanted to wrap up this book and take a bit of a break from posting on this story (sort of to let me recharge). I'm estimating that I will start posting chapters for the sequel in around a month, but I'll be working on the story during that time so I can post a couple of chapters at the time. Thank you all for your support again. 3 Love Always, Taeha**


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